(Untitled)

[orome]

I've awakened from a very long fucking nap and what do I find? You dirty little piggies have been abusing my creations which I have bestowed upon you most generously. Did I have to give them to you filthy swine living in Middle Earth

Comments

[celegorm]

KILL KILL KILL FUCKIN' KILL!!!

I'll fuckin' bring Elladan the Beagle.

[orome]

Let's go, Gormy.

.... does the beagle have to have that pink leash with the bones on it? Can't you make it paper fangs, or something?

[celegorm]

Yeah, man!!!! It's killin'-shit time!!!

Okay, okay! I'll put the fuckin' horned helmet on him, alright?! Happy now?

Let's cut up some horsefuckers!!!!!!

[theodwyn]

don't kill me please?

[eomer_of_rohan]

o.O

Ah, see, sir, uh, about those horses, you see, they sorta started i--

...

I'll be running now. C'mon, Lothy honey!

[orome]

YOU

EQUINE ENEMY NUMBER FUCKING ONE.

I'm going to close my eyes and count to thirty.

And then I'm going to chase a little piggy.

Squeal, piggy, squeal!

OR I'LL STAB MY SWORD INTO A PLACE THAT A HORSE WON'T EVER TOUCH AGAIN.

...but...but...but...aiiiie!

[eomer_of_rohan]

O.O

*fucking BOLTS*

[meriadocgamgee]

Lord of Forests -bows head- I beg of you to let me know which of my family has so offended you. Surely, none of us have so wounded your creations. I myself treasure horses, and greive the sacrafice in my need of my dearest Meridian. I am sure that she saved me from drowning, and gifted me with her colt, whom I care for as if my own blood. I hope that all of us at Gamgee Hall appreciate the value and beauty of equines as much as I. Still, I do beg you let me know which of us has caused offense.

[orome]

I see you used a horsey icon. Nice.

Yeah. Your father. He was somewhat affectionate with old Bill, but Bill is not the brightest of creatures and so far all we've gotten out of him is some babble about Samwise giving him apples and some perverted giggling about some blue eyed alien thing and the Pillsbury Dough Boy going at it in some bushes. So we're sending him to a happy place where crazed horses get to eat grass all day and take little red tranquilisers from paper syringes. Or something.

I won't kill any of you fuckers. Hobbits are hairy like horses and this makes me laugh.

Eomer, however....

Excuse me.

*gets out super valar machine gun and pushes you aside*

I'M COMING FOR YOU, 'RIDER' OF THE FUCKING 'MARK', YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I THINK!

[eomer_of_rohan]

*howl of somewhat indignant terror in the distance*

[meriadocgamgee]

-nods- I see. Thank you, for sparring my family and giving old Bill a good home.

...speed be with you? Poor Eomer.

[elfwine]

Sir? With all due respect I didn't even see a horse for the first time until a few months ago and frankly they terrify me. I am yet to come within 30 feet of one.

So what I am saying ispleasedonotkillmesireekeekeekk

[orome]

... what the fuck is on your face?

I should exterminate you just for crimes against moderate make up use. But that is probably Tulkas' domain.

So you never have, will never, and are currently not attracted to any equine creature? This includes zebras, so think carefully.

[elfwine]

My husband likes it ¬.¬ I have tried to stop using it before.

No equine attraction. Not even zebras, although those stripes are very nice.

pleasedonotkillpleasepleasepleaseplease

[orome]

Why don't you just kill your husband? Problem solved.

Hm.

Run anyway. I'll only chase you as far as that tree, and curse you so you stub your toe some time in the next twenty four hours.

Fuck off, go!

[poor_grima]

And that little filly LIKED IT, mon.

[orome]

Did she?

*turns you into an anteater*

You have a nice long tongue now.

I want the Stables of Rohan licked clean, every last inch, by midnight tomorrow or you stay in this shape forever. Understood?

*slaps you on the rear*

Go for it, Wormtongue.

[poor_grima]

*says the anteater equivalant of 'it never ends' and waddles off*