Comments | osehuns: [one shot] tomorrow is forever

osehuns

[one shot] tomorrow is forever

Apr 18, 2014 19:31

Title: tomorrow is forever
Pairing: gd/top
Rating: nc17
Genre: angst
Warnings: highlight to read death
Author: osehuns
Notes: seunghyun is quite sick.

( According to the Wikipedia page for grief, it is a natural response to loss. )

ship: gd/top, fandom: big bang, #fic, length: one shot

Comments 6

snoaz April 19 2014, 18:55:38 UTC

aah, this was very sad. Normally I'm actually not one to read angst/sickness fics.

The ending was well done, concise yet a bit ambiguous, as in the general style of the fic. It was powerful. The start was also good, it immediately has your attention. And I also liked how in one of the last paragraphs you intertwined past (italic) and present. It shows well how Jiyong is absorbed in his thoughts and the whirlwind of things that is happening, until Seunghyun snaps him out of it.

One matter of attention is the punctuation: “I know.” He repeats. Should be "I know," he repeats. If you're not sure of the rules, you could just open a novel and you'll quickly see!

Another thing is the characterization. The danger with fics like this is that it can become a hospital story about any two persons. You need to make sure that it is their story, gd and top's. Include little quirks of them, outward descriptions, snippets that show their dynamic. It doesn't need to be extensive, especially because this is a short story and the focus is elsewhere ( ... )

osehuns April 19 2014, 20:43:19 UTC

agh i'm sorry! I practically forced you to read it if you think about it ( ... )

snoaz April 20 2014, 10:56:15 UTC

I'm glad my review could be of help!

And I feel that is too much praise for my writing, but it means a lot, thank you!

p.s. love your icon :)

osehuns April 20 2014, 17:19:19 UTC

I think I'm not giving enough praise lmao but ~

But thanks again! I'll look forward to reading your next fic whenever you release one hah

p.s. thankyouuu I adore yours c:

seamanthedog April 22 2014, 05:06:01 UTC

Ah, I really liked this! It's kind of one of those subjects that could possibly happen so it makes it a little sadder. Hopefully Seunghyun (or Jiyong!) doesn't actually develop lung cancer.

osehuns April 23 2014, 03:41:49 UTC

Thank you so much for reading, bae ;;;;

Yeah, the very thought had me a little hesitant on even writing such a fic based on a strong topic but I can't really halt a thought process when I start so this drafted baby came to be. I hope for the best of health for them though ofc !

Thanks again, lovely !