Moving Forward Series - Part 04 - Chapter 21 - More Changes
Title: Moving Forward Series - Part 04 - Chapter 21 - More Changes
Author: othermewriter
Chapter Rating: PG - Series Rating: Adult
Characters: 9/Rose Disclaimer: not mine, and so not making money from this mores the pity :(
A/N: As always my deepest gratitude to my beta lostwolfchats
I gently lay Rose's limp form back onto the bed she was sitting on and check her readings again; normal with the exception of the higher levels of vortex energy I have been looking at all morning. With both of them out, I am unsure what to do other than try to make her comfortable. I don't like any of this but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about what is happening either. I can only hope that as it was the Bad Wolf that responded it means this was something they planned to occur.
When they wake, hopefully, they will have some answers to what is going on with them, in the mean time I am stuck waiting. I hate waiting.
As if that thought was some kind of cue, Rose gasps and the lights return to normal, a second later her panic hits me like a train and I have to throw up mental shields in defense.
"Rose!" I call to her even as I sit on the bed pulling her into my arms. It takes but a half second for her to begin clinging to me; like her life depends on my touch. As I commence to gently rock her and try to soothe her obvious distress, I feel Verity’s clamor to contact my mind.
'What did you do to her?' is my first demand and feel only confusion as a response. I realize with that no answers will be forthcoming immediately from either of them as I clearly feel Verity needs comfort and reassurance as much as Rose does. I still remember all too vividly the last time she was this distraught with a wash of guilt, because it was my fault then as well. Suddenly I find myself on the receiving end of her comforting as her love washes over me and I feel worse knowing how little I deserve their love.
I jerk in surprise at Rose's soft words in my ear, "She forgave you a long time ago for that you know, she understands much better now."
In surprise at her words, I try to lean back so I can look Rose in the face, and she moans in anguish and buries her nose in the crook of my neck. "Rose, what's the matter?"
"Too much, everything keeps moving, but you’re safe, quiet."
"Rose can I see? I might..." my words trail off, stunned at her trust, as she throws open her mind to me. It is obvious what has her so upset, as I see dozen and dozens of potential timelines flickering in and out of existence around her. I recognize immediately what it is she is seeing, because this has been a steady constant all my life and I feel her relief at my recognition.
'It's okay, I know it's a bit overwhelming now, but you will get use to it and it will fade to a background awareness, much as your sense of smell was previously. When you need it, it will be there, but the rest of the time you will ignore it.'
'How?' comes her almost desperate cry then her confused statement, 'and why is it so calm around you? It's almost like you're the eye of a storm, but just a little way away there are thousands of lines tangled around you.'
Even as she is speaking, she is leaning back a tiny bit, her eyes unfocused as she stares around her, completely focused on her new vision.
'Oncoming Storm, me.'
'Is this what the Daleks see when they look at you?' comes her uncensored thought, immediately followed by her regret at mentioning those evil creatures as she feels me bristle.
Tamping down my reaction, I answer her the best I can. 'I don't think there is anyone other than the Time Lords that ever saw quite the way we do. There is a reason we are called that you know.'
With that, I feel her lay her head back on my shoulder, 'there is so much more to it than that as well.' With her words, I feel her discouragement. ‘So very much yet to learn.’
“Yes, but you won’t be facing it alone Rose, I’m here, Verity’s here, we will get though this together”, as I quietly reassure her, I also feel Verity encouraging her as well and I have to wonder what I was thinking taking us anywhere so soon after such a radical change for her.
As I feel her slide again into sleep I continue to hold her to me, unwilling to be parted from her even the small amount that it will require to pick her up and take her someplace where we can be more comfortable.
‘Go Theta, she will be all right, she just needs to sleep for a time to give her system a chance to deal with the new changes.’
‘What’s happening to her Verity? What’s happening to both of you?’ What I don’t say, what I can barely even think about is what I would do if I were to lose either of them.
‘Were changing… adapting. I… I can’t explain why, I just know this is what needs to happen.’ With the sound of worry and concern in her mental voice that is usually so self assured I know I have to reach out her as I haven’t done since before we met Rose. I close my eyes, even as I pull their physical body closer.
The landscape is one we are both familiar with, one we built long ago together. It is a garden and even as I approach, she is already there, my beautiful brown-haired golden-eyed girl. A blue check blanket is spread out on the red grass near a stone bench. As usual, she is sitting on the blanket leaning back against the bench. I had forgotten how beautiful she is in this form, but as I approach I see that she has made changes and now her features have changed somewhat, and have taken on more of Rose’s physical characteristics, somehow melding the best of both. Her hair is lighter brown now, and I can tell she is a bit shorter than the last time I saw her. As always, though, she is wearing a TARDIS-blue sundress and her feet are bare. I asked her once why she never chose to have shoes and she just smiled and never did tell me.
As I approach, her eyes are closed as if in rest, but I know that here it is but an affectation, as is all that surrounds us. ‘I wondered if you would come,’ she states quietly.
‘Why should I not, it was obvious you were upset, and it has been too long since last we spoke face to face.’
With that, she opens her eyes and peers up at me. ‘Yes, it has been, far too long.’ With that, she pats the blanket next to her. ‘Sit with me for awhile?’
I sit, taking off my leather jacket and pulling off my boots, putting them aside as I would if we were truly just two people sitting in a garden. As I sit down next to her, she reaches out and intertwines our fingers, just as Rose and I so often do, looking at them for a moment with a thoughtful expression on her face.
‘What?’
‘Just that for so long I was jealous of them, being able to do this simple thing; just to be able to reach out and hold your hand.’
‘I never knew. I’m sorry Verity.’
The look she gives me is soulful, the swirl of her golden pupils dark, somehow conveying a deep abiding sadness. ‘I never meant for you to know, you already carry the weight of the universe on your shoulders I couldn’t bare to add to that, but it’s all different now,’ she finishes wistfully.
I gently touch her face. ‘I have never meant to hurt you. Yet not once have I asked if you were okay with this joining. I have been so enamored with the idea of not being alone; I have forgotten how alone you must feel. I, at least, had the humans to keep me company, you have had no one other than my poor company.’ I pause the words seem so inadequate but they are hearts-felt nonetheless. ‘I am so very sorry.’
Her reply is both tender and earnest as she turns and meets my gaze. ‘My precious Theta, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. She is good for you, good for both of us. Never would I have known what it was like to feel your touch as I have this week, to truly know what it means to be your lover. I have so wanted to hold you so many times, and now I can. She completes us both Theta, in ways I always dreamed of and ways I never thought I needed. I have known for so very long how much you needed someone.’
As I open my mouth to object, she gently places her finger on my lips. ‘Even when you didn’t think you needed anyone, that you would be better off alone, I knew and regretted that it couldn’t be me. Now it can be, and it is such a small price to have to share you with Rose. She loves you, perhaps even more than I do.’
‘Thank you. I don’t deserve you. You know, I don’t deserve either of you and yet you love me anyway.’ With that, I hug her tightly to me and for long minutes we just sit snuggled together beneath an orange sky neither of shall every see again outside the walls of our minds.
Slowly she draws back. ‘You should go now, Theta. Neither of our bodies are comfortable like this, bring us to bed where we all can rest easier.’
With that, I find myself once again in the medical area hunched over and around Rose and Verity’s body. With as little disruption as I can, I shift us from the bed, smiling as I hear Rose mumble my name in her sleep and I carry their sleeping form to our room.
Slowly I undress her the rest of the way and follow suit in shedding my own clothing. I know I may be taking liberties a bit, but I know she generally feels more comfortable when she doesn’t sleep in her clothing and right now I very much want to be as close to her as I can. As I crawl into the bed, she immediately snuggles into my side, reaching for me in her sleep.
As I lay with her soft form molded against me, I breathe deep her scent and sigh in contentment.
‘This is so much better, and yes if she were awake she would agree with you. Clothing in bed is for when you must sleep alone or in a strange place, not for when you sleep in the arms of your lover.’
I smile at that thought and pull her that much closer to me, gently kissing her forehead. As I pull back a bit, I am surprised to see her eyes open and watching me.
“It’s not like I don’t have a bit of say in that matter too you know.” Come her quietly whispered words.
“Verity?”
The smile she gives me in return is pure mischief. “I may not have the hang of much in this body, but I did learn a couple of things with our run in with Cassandra.”
“Is… will…” I’m suddenly boggling as I realize that right now Verity has control of Rose’s body.
“It’s all right Theta. We have talked about this, she knows. When she wakes ask her.”
“But shouldn’t she be resting?”
“Yes and we will be in a moment. I just wanted you to know, to really understand how much we share. When you touch her, you’re touching me, as much as when you touch my console or caress my walls you are touching her. She may not be able to cope with all of our senses yet, but in time she will. She is changing Theta, we are changing, adapting,” and with that she puts her head down again on my shoulder gently squeezing my waist. ‘But what will never change is our love for you, so sleep my love.’
With that, I feel her body again relax into full unconsciousness and watch as the lights dim to night cycle lighting. For long hours, I can do nothing but lie and think on her words and what they will mean for our future as my ladies sleep.
Chapter 21a - Balancing
Moving Forward Story Index 1
Author: othermewriter
Chapter Rating: PG - Series Rating: Adult
Characters: 9/Rose Disclaimer: not mine, and so not making money from this mores the pity :(
A/N: As always my deepest gratitude to my beta lostwolfchats
I gently lay Rose's limp form back onto the bed she was sitting on and check her readings again; normal with the exception of the higher levels of vortex energy I have been looking at all morning. With both of them out, I am unsure what to do other than try to make her comfortable. I don't like any of this but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about what is happening either. I can only hope that as it was the Bad Wolf that responded it means this was something they planned to occur.
When they wake, hopefully, they will have some answers to what is going on with them, in the mean time I am stuck waiting. I hate waiting.
As if that thought was some kind of cue, Rose gasps and the lights return to normal, a second later her panic hits me like a train and I have to throw up mental shields in defense.
"Rose!" I call to her even as I sit on the bed pulling her into my arms. It takes but a half second for her to begin clinging to me; like her life depends on my touch. As I commence to gently rock her and try to soothe her obvious distress, I feel Verity’s clamor to contact my mind.
'What did you do to her?' is my first demand and feel only confusion as a response. I realize with that no answers will be forthcoming immediately from either of them as I clearly feel Verity needs comfort and reassurance as much as Rose does. I still remember all too vividly the last time she was this distraught with a wash of guilt, because it was my fault then as well. Suddenly I find myself on the receiving end of her comforting as her love washes over me and I feel worse knowing how little I deserve their love.
I jerk in surprise at Rose's soft words in my ear, "She forgave you a long time ago for that you know, she understands much better now."
In surprise at her words, I try to lean back so I can look Rose in the face, and she moans in anguish and buries her nose in the crook of my neck. "Rose, what's the matter?"
"Too much, everything keeps moving, but you’re safe, quiet."
"Rose can I see? I might..." my words trail off, stunned at her trust, as she throws open her mind to me. It is obvious what has her so upset, as I see dozen and dozens of potential timelines flickering in and out of existence around her. I recognize immediately what it is she is seeing, because this has been a steady constant all my life and I feel her relief at my recognition.
'It's okay, I know it's a bit overwhelming now, but you will get use to it and it will fade to a background awareness, much as your sense of smell was previously. When you need it, it will be there, but the rest of the time you will ignore it.'
'How?' comes her almost desperate cry then her confused statement, 'and why is it so calm around you? It's almost like you're the eye of a storm, but just a little way away there are thousands of lines tangled around you.'
Even as she is speaking, she is leaning back a tiny bit, her eyes unfocused as she stares around her, completely focused on her new vision.
'Oncoming Storm, me.'
'Is this what the Daleks see when they look at you?' comes her uncensored thought, immediately followed by her regret at mentioning those evil creatures as she feels me bristle.
Tamping down my reaction, I answer her the best I can. 'I don't think there is anyone other than the Time Lords that ever saw quite the way we do. There is a reason we are called that you know.'
With that, I feel her lay her head back on my shoulder, 'there is so much more to it than that as well.' With her words, I feel her discouragement. ‘So very much yet to learn.’
“Yes, but you won’t be facing it alone Rose, I’m here, Verity’s here, we will get though this together”, as I quietly reassure her, I also feel Verity encouraging her as well and I have to wonder what I was thinking taking us anywhere so soon after such a radical change for her.
As I feel her slide again into sleep I continue to hold her to me, unwilling to be parted from her even the small amount that it will require to pick her up and take her someplace where we can be more comfortable.
‘Go Theta, she will be all right, she just needs to sleep for a time to give her system a chance to deal with the new changes.’
‘What’s happening to her Verity? What’s happening to both of you?’ What I don’t say, what I can barely even think about is what I would do if I were to lose either of them.
‘Were changing… adapting. I… I can’t explain why, I just know this is what needs to happen.’ With the sound of worry and concern in her mental voice that is usually so self assured I know I have to reach out her as I haven’t done since before we met Rose. I close my eyes, even as I pull their physical body closer.
The landscape is one we are both familiar with, one we built long ago together. It is a garden and even as I approach, she is already there, my beautiful brown-haired golden-eyed girl. A blue check blanket is spread out on the red grass near a stone bench. As usual, she is sitting on the blanket leaning back against the bench. I had forgotten how beautiful she is in this form, but as I approach I see that she has made changes and now her features have changed somewhat, and have taken on more of Rose’s physical characteristics, somehow melding the best of both. Her hair is lighter brown now, and I can tell she is a bit shorter than the last time I saw her. As always, though, she is wearing a TARDIS-blue sundress and her feet are bare. I asked her once why she never chose to have shoes and she just smiled and never did tell me.
As I approach, her eyes are closed as if in rest, but I know that here it is but an affectation, as is all that surrounds us. ‘I wondered if you would come,’ she states quietly.
‘Why should I not, it was obvious you were upset, and it has been too long since last we spoke face to face.’
With that, she opens her eyes and peers up at me. ‘Yes, it has been, far too long.’ With that, she pats the blanket next to her. ‘Sit with me for awhile?’
I sit, taking off my leather jacket and pulling off my boots, putting them aside as I would if we were truly just two people sitting in a garden. As I sit down next to her, she reaches out and intertwines our fingers, just as Rose and I so often do, looking at them for a moment with a thoughtful expression on her face.
‘What?’
‘Just that for so long I was jealous of them, being able to do this simple thing; just to be able to reach out and hold your hand.’
‘I never knew. I’m sorry Verity.’
The look she gives me is soulful, the swirl of her golden pupils dark, somehow conveying a deep abiding sadness. ‘I never meant for you to know, you already carry the weight of the universe on your shoulders I couldn’t bare to add to that, but it’s all different now,’ she finishes wistfully.
I gently touch her face. ‘I have never meant to hurt you. Yet not once have I asked if you were okay with this joining. I have been so enamored with the idea of not being alone; I have forgotten how alone you must feel. I, at least, had the humans to keep me company, you have had no one other than my poor company.’ I pause the words seem so inadequate but they are hearts-felt nonetheless. ‘I am so very sorry.’
Her reply is both tender and earnest as she turns and meets my gaze. ‘My precious Theta, I wouldn’t trade this for anything. She is good for you, good for both of us. Never would I have known what it was like to feel your touch as I have this week, to truly know what it means to be your lover. I have so wanted to hold you so many times, and now I can. She completes us both Theta, in ways I always dreamed of and ways I never thought I needed. I have known for so very long how much you needed someone.’
As I open my mouth to object, she gently places her finger on my lips. ‘Even when you didn’t think you needed anyone, that you would be better off alone, I knew and regretted that it couldn’t be me. Now it can be, and it is such a small price to have to share you with Rose. She loves you, perhaps even more than I do.’
‘Thank you. I don’t deserve you. You know, I don’t deserve either of you and yet you love me anyway.’ With that, I hug her tightly to me and for long minutes we just sit snuggled together beneath an orange sky neither of shall every see again outside the walls of our minds.
Slowly she draws back. ‘You should go now, Theta. Neither of our bodies are comfortable like this, bring us to bed where we all can rest easier.’
With that, I find myself once again in the medical area hunched over and around Rose and Verity’s body. With as little disruption as I can, I shift us from the bed, smiling as I hear Rose mumble my name in her sleep and I carry their sleeping form to our room.
Slowly I undress her the rest of the way and follow suit in shedding my own clothing. I know I may be taking liberties a bit, but I know she generally feels more comfortable when she doesn’t sleep in her clothing and right now I very much want to be as close to her as I can. As I crawl into the bed, she immediately snuggles into my side, reaching for me in her sleep.
As I lay with her soft form molded against me, I breathe deep her scent and sigh in contentment.
‘This is so much better, and yes if she were awake she would agree with you. Clothing in bed is for when you must sleep alone or in a strange place, not for when you sleep in the arms of your lover.’
I smile at that thought and pull her that much closer to me, gently kissing her forehead. As I pull back a bit, I am surprised to see her eyes open and watching me.
“It’s not like I don’t have a bit of say in that matter too you know.” Come her quietly whispered words.
“Verity?”
The smile she gives me in return is pure mischief. “I may not have the hang of much in this body, but I did learn a couple of things with our run in with Cassandra.”
“Is… will…” I’m suddenly boggling as I realize that right now Verity has control of Rose’s body.
“It’s all right Theta. We have talked about this, she knows. When she wakes ask her.”
“But shouldn’t she be resting?”
“Yes and we will be in a moment. I just wanted you to know, to really understand how much we share. When you touch her, you’re touching me, as much as when you touch my console or caress my walls you are touching her. She may not be able to cope with all of our senses yet, but in time she will. She is changing Theta, we are changing, adapting,” and with that she puts her head down again on my shoulder gently squeezing my waist. ‘But what will never change is our love for you, so sleep my love.’
With that, I feel her body again relax into full unconsciousness and watch as the lights dim to night cycle lighting. For long hours, I can do nothing but lie and think on her words and what they will mean for our future as my ladies sleep.
Chapter 21a - Balancing
Moving Forward Story Index 1