Unexpected Destinies Chapter 138
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,932
Summary: Castiel finally finds his and Dean's Andaluzyian crystal.
PAST
The moment that Castiel saw it he knew. This was the Andaluzyian crystal that he'd been looking for.
The absolute certainty he felt was a huge relief to Castiel as he'd been starting to wonder if he even knew what to look for. There had been some crystals that he'd found earlier that had both seemed to call out and appeal to him at the same time, but they'd never felt a hundred percent right to him and now he was immensely glad that he hadn't settled for any of them. It would have been a tragedy to have used any of those crystals when there had been this one available, hidden away here in the most unlikely of places.
On some level Castiel wasn't really all that surprised. After all, when did things ever happen as they should when Dean was involved? In fact he was sure that his mate would quite like the fact that their Andaluzyian crystal had formed within the immense pressure and volatile heat of Yellowstone's massive magma chamber instead of within the cold grasp of the ocean's equally pressurized depths.
Briefly Castiel feared that the fiery power of the crystal might overwhelm his human but then he pushed the thought aside. The crystal called out far too strongly to him for it to not also be compatible with Dean. He'd have to trust his mate as Dean had already proven himself capable of things no human should be able to handle or achieve. With that thought he stepped forward and carefully picked up the crystal.
The moment that he touched it, Castiel's certainty solidified even further within him. There was absolutely no doubt left within him. The power of the Andaluzyian crystal washed through him, freeing up and opening his own Grace and power in a way that he himself could never achieve on his own. It was both terrifying and exhilarating at once. Terrifying in that it left him so open that he felt more vulnerable than he had ever before in his long existence, not even just before Raphael had killed him that first time had he felt so vulnerable, not even knowing how infinitely more powerful his archangel brother was than him. But it was also exhilarating because he knew that soon it wouldn't just be him touching it and being so open, but Dean as well.
The mere thought of his mate's soul being so open and free and bonding with his own Grace made Castiel feel something he couldn't quite recognize. It was similar to anticipation and desire and yet those paled hopelessly in comparison to the sheer power and strength of this unknown emotion. All he knew was that he wanted it desperately and that he wanted it now.
It was only the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to stop if he went straight to Dean that allowed Castiel to restrain himself from flying right to his mate and claiming him. It wasn't the fact that his hunter would mind the speed but rather that Dean wouldn't appreciate one of the consequences of so hasty an action that tamed his impulse. The absolute last thing that he wanted was for his mate to ever regret anything about this bonding, which meant that he had to exercise a little patience now and do something that actually went against his very nature and instincts. Logically he knew that Michael was no threat to his and Dean's relationship, but the instinct to claim his mate alone was still there nonetheless. But this was Dean he was talking about and so of course his mate was breaking all of the rules and traditions.
Thinking of it like that actually made Castiel feel a lot better and made him smile. He wouldn't change anything about his mate and so he would deal with this too even if it went against some of his mating instincts and delayed his bonding. Just the knowledge that it would make Dean happier in the end was more than enough for him.
With a thought, Castiel had located his oldest brother and he flew right to him, his precious prize clutched tightly in his hands. He was so focused on the Andaluzyian crystal and how phenomenal that it felt to him that he caught the way Xarael and Raphael, both of whom were with Michael, almost flinched away from it. Nor did he miss how his oldest brother didn't draw away from it. That alone told him that he'd been right to come here first even before Michael's face turned curious and his brother leaned forwards, towards his and Dean's crystal. Normally all other angels were either repulsed or neutral towards the crystal of a pair about to be bonded, especially when it had already been touched by one of the intended pair.
"Castiel," Xarael said reverently, her eyes on the crystal even if it held no enticement to her. "You found it."
"Yes," Castiel replied, knowing exactly what she meant.
Often they still didn't need words, not after those early months having worked so closely together to regain order in Heaven. He'd taken great care during his growing relationship with first Michael and then Raphael to not let his connection with her slide even if she came to Earth far less often.
"Do you wish to do it now, Brother?" Michael inquired, stepping closer.
"Please."
"Bond well," Raphael said.
"Yes, bond well, Brother," Xarael added.
"Thank you," Castiel replied, lowering his head in deference to the standard congratulatory wish.
With a final glance towards Michael, Castiel took to flight once more, heading for what he now considered to be his home more than Heaven. He still held out hope though that one day Dean might come to see that Heaven was not as bad as his mate thought it was. Not only had Zachariah just shown Dean one small portion of it, but his late brother had also broken countless rules to make it far more akin to Hell than any of the other angel who'd learned of what had transpired had ever believed was possible.
The thought of that and of what Michael had told him about Dean's nightmare that one night was still enough to enrage Castiel but he cast all that aside now. There was not only nothing that he could do about it at present, but it would also only serve to taint the bonding. No, he'd leave it for now and then take the time to show his mate how Heaven had changed later, after they'd dealt with the Apocalypse.
The moment Castiel landed in the apartment, his eyes sought out Dean who was standing in the kitchen before an opened cupboard. It was the one in which his mate stored any candy that Dean had bought and where he'd occasionally leave something sweet that he'd gotten from another part of the world.
"Hey," Dean said, glancing over his shoulder to see which of them it was.
Castiel knew the moment his mate caught sight of the Andaluzyian crystal he held as Dean stilled in a way that he'd rarely ever seen. Slowly his hunter turned around to face him though his mate's eyes never left the crystal. Part of him was still feeling the awe and draw of the original discovery so he knew exactly what it was that Dean was experiencing just now. The temptation to just reach out and claim, to commence the bonding, was so strong as to be almost irresistible and he knew that he'd made the right decision to go to Michael first as he knew that he wouldn't have been able to make himself leave now. Not with the ability to- finally!- fully bond with Dean literally right in his grasp. As it was, it was all that he could do to still it for long enough to ensure that his mate was completely ready so that Dean could enjoy the experience fully.
"It... it's... perfect," Dean finally breathed, stopping only a short distance away and even that was clearly an effort for his hunter. "Can we do it now? Is everything ready?"
"Almost," Castiel replied, waiting for his mate to drag his eyes away from the crystal long enough to look at him. "You need to hold it alone first before we can begin."
"Alone? Why?"
"It is so that you become familiar with the power of the crystal and how it will affect your soul before the experience is compounded by Castiel's Grace," Michael explained, finally stepping forward himself.
It didn't escape Castiel's notice that his brother gave him a wide berth as Michael did so. He was grateful for the understanding as it was one more thing that he didn't have to worry about and he'd hate for this, what would undoubtedly be the most important event in his existence, to be marred by any kind of fissure in the relationship with his brother.
"Oh, okay," Dean responded. "What's it like?"
"It is hard to explain," Castiel replied truthfully. "It will open up your soul in a way that it has never been before."
"Even when you pulled me from Hell or with our kalsika?"
"Yes, even more than then."
Dean nodded in a way that Castiel recognized as a way for his hunter to distract himself and to give his mate a moment to compose himself and prepare for what Dean was about to do. The urge to check that his mate was sure about this rose within him but he repressed it. If there was one thing that Dean Winchester had already proven irrevocably it was that his mate couldn't and wouldn't be forced into doing things that his hunter hadn't full well decided to do and no one had done anything even remotely similar to forcing here. Dean had been the one to seek out more information on the bonding (the angelic bonding) and Dean had been the one to commence the ritual and to contact him. His mate knew what he was doing and had made his decision long before.
No, this was about his mate needing a few moments to compose himself before doing something that Dean had fought against all of his life. Namely opening himself up, wholly and completely, to another being. Castiel knew how strongly and instinctively his mate protected himself in that way and he doubted that even his hunter realized how shielded he'd be on some level even when they'd both held their kalsika.
Far sooner than Castiel had expected, Dean nodded once decisively and held out his hands.
"I'm ready," his mate declared.
With great care, Castiel reached out and held the Andaluzyian crystal above Dean's cupped hands and dropped it to ensure that they didn't both touch the crystal at the same time. Once that was accomplished, he forced himself to step back to help distance himself from the temptation to reach out and close the connection between them. He did not, however, remove his eyes from his mate for even an instant and therefore saw every nuance of his mate's reaction to the power and influence of their crystal.
The moment it had touched his hands, Dean's eyes had opened wide and Castiel knew from recent personal experience that nothing could have truly prepared his mate for the feeling of actually holding your Andaluzyian crystal. The emotions passed hard and fast through his mate's eyes, most still beyond his grasp to identify within himself left alone anyone else despite how far he'd come in his understanding of them. The ones he did recognize only increased his longing to commence the actual bonding and share them all with Dean.
/
The moment that the Andaluzyian crystal touched his hands, any illusions that Dean'd had of having been prepared for this moment were instantly and thoroughly shattered into a million tiny pieces. It made him think of his and Castiel's recent experience with their kalsika in both the power and the sheer intensity of it and yet it was totally different.
Dean was absolutely no stranger when it came to knowing his own soul, indeed he was quite probably the human who knew his soul the best out of all living beings, and even still he was hopelessly overwhelmed by his sudden awareness of it now. His lover hadn't been kidding in the slightest when Castiel had said that this was nothing like any of the other soul things that he'd experienced before. He couldn't even begin to think about comparing them let alone actually understanding it!
All that Dean knew was that he felt incredibly open and vulnerable in a way that he never had before in his life. It felt like his soul had always been folded somehow and hidden away even when Michael or Castiel had touched and held it before. But not anymore. No, now it felt open, exposed for everyone to see and touch.
And hurt.
The latter made Dean shudder and he wanted to draw back, to tuck his soul away again the way that it had been before, safe and sound within his meatsuit where most people couldn't reach it let alone actually harm it. The memories of Hell were quick to return to him after months of silence, reminding him of just how easily and how much pain the soul could feel and all of that had been before it had been this laid bare for anyone to do with as they pleased. It was like all of his worst fears about vulnerability magnified a hundred thousand times in a way that he'd never even been able to imagine before and yet, at the same time, there was something else there as well. Something he couldn't quite identify but which demanded his attention nonetheless.
With a concerted effort, Dean tried to push aside his other feelings to focus on this other thing. When he finally did so, it was like being dunked into a tank full of loneliness and longing and for a moment he was sure that he'd drown in it all. He floundered, desperately scrambling for the surface, panic seeping in before he finally managed to pull himself back out again.
What the Hell?
The unexpected and chaotic jumble of emotions within him took Dean a moment to work through, but when he did he felt shaken to his very core. Just as the kalsika had made it impossible for him to either hide from or deny Castiel's true feelings for him, the Andaluzyian crystal made it impossible for him to try and deceive himself, either consciously or unconsciously, as to his own thoughts and feelings. All of that impossible loneliness that he'd just felt, it was all his own and not just that which he'd felt once, briefly, but that which he'd felt so often and for so long that it had become a very integral part of himself right down to his very soul. The longing, meanwhile, was the fervent hope that he wouldn't always feel that way; that he'd one day find someone like Castiel who'd take all of the loneliness away. The problem was that he'd felt it for so long and had so adamantly refused to see it that it had grown inwards and planted its roots so exceptionally deep that even now, after all of the time that he'd spent with his lover and all that they'd shared, it still hadn't entirely gone away.
The realization was enough to take Dean's breath away in stunned shock. Now that he was aware of it, he couldn't understand how it hadn't always been obvious to him and he wondered just how far in denial he'd been to be able to overlook it so completely for all these years. Naturally, since he was still holding the Andaluzyian crystal, he quickly found out exactly how he'd managed it and the urge to simply drop the crystal rose within him. The only reason that he didn't was because while his angel had taken a step back after passing the crystal to him, Castiel hadn't look away from him, not even for a moment, and so he could see the sheer longing and love within his lover's blue eyes.
That was enough to remind Dean of everything that he'd felt when they'd both held their kalsika which in turn introduced a new element to his thoughts. Yes he was still experiencing all of the openness and vulnerability from before, but now he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to experience that with Castiel and his lover's Grace all around him, equally open and free.
To be that closely bonded with his angel.
The mere thought was enough to make Dean's heart start to race and all of the love and desire he felt for Castiel came rushing back over him, easily washing aside any and all doubts and fears. It was almost frightening in a way just how quickly it was all gone despite the vulnerability he still felt, though even that was starting to morph and fade. It just seemed impossible to feel vulnerable with his angel around, not when he knew the lengths to which Castiel would go not only at his request, but also for him as well.
It simply removed all of his fears and reservations and Dean was instead left with the burning desire to feel his lover's Grace as open and free as his soul was and, most importantly, to join with it forevermore. To never be alone or vulnerable again, ever.
A.N.: Okay, so officially the hand is better (doctor approved levels anyway), so hopefully I'll be able to get back to typing more!
Chapter 139
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,932
Summary: Castiel finally finds his and Dean's Andaluzyian crystal.
PAST
The moment that Castiel saw it he knew. This was the Andaluzyian crystal that he'd been looking for.
The absolute certainty he felt was a huge relief to Castiel as he'd been starting to wonder if he even knew what to look for. There had been some crystals that he'd found earlier that had both seemed to call out and appeal to him at the same time, but they'd never felt a hundred percent right to him and now he was immensely glad that he hadn't settled for any of them. It would have been a tragedy to have used any of those crystals when there had been this one available, hidden away here in the most unlikely of places.
On some level Castiel wasn't really all that surprised. After all, when did things ever happen as they should when Dean was involved? In fact he was sure that his mate would quite like the fact that their Andaluzyian crystal had formed within the immense pressure and volatile heat of Yellowstone's massive magma chamber instead of within the cold grasp of the ocean's equally pressurized depths.
Briefly Castiel feared that the fiery power of the crystal might overwhelm his human but then he pushed the thought aside. The crystal called out far too strongly to him for it to not also be compatible with Dean. He'd have to trust his mate as Dean had already proven himself capable of things no human should be able to handle or achieve. With that thought he stepped forward and carefully picked up the crystal.
The moment that he touched it, Castiel's certainty solidified even further within him. There was absolutely no doubt left within him. The power of the Andaluzyian crystal washed through him, freeing up and opening his own Grace and power in a way that he himself could never achieve on his own. It was both terrifying and exhilarating at once. Terrifying in that it left him so open that he felt more vulnerable than he had ever before in his long existence, not even just before Raphael had killed him that first time had he felt so vulnerable, not even knowing how infinitely more powerful his archangel brother was than him. But it was also exhilarating because he knew that soon it wouldn't just be him touching it and being so open, but Dean as well.
The mere thought of his mate's soul being so open and free and bonding with his own Grace made Castiel feel something he couldn't quite recognize. It was similar to anticipation and desire and yet those paled hopelessly in comparison to the sheer power and strength of this unknown emotion. All he knew was that he wanted it desperately and that he wanted it now.
It was only the knowledge that he wouldn't be able to stop if he went straight to Dean that allowed Castiel to restrain himself from flying right to his mate and claiming him. It wasn't the fact that his hunter would mind the speed but rather that Dean wouldn't appreciate one of the consequences of so hasty an action that tamed his impulse. The absolute last thing that he wanted was for his mate to ever regret anything about this bonding, which meant that he had to exercise a little patience now and do something that actually went against his very nature and instincts. Logically he knew that Michael was no threat to his and Dean's relationship, but the instinct to claim his mate alone was still there nonetheless. But this was Dean he was talking about and so of course his mate was breaking all of the rules and traditions.
Thinking of it like that actually made Castiel feel a lot better and made him smile. He wouldn't change anything about his mate and so he would deal with this too even if it went against some of his mating instincts and delayed his bonding. Just the knowledge that it would make Dean happier in the end was more than enough for him.
With a thought, Castiel had located his oldest brother and he flew right to him, his precious prize clutched tightly in his hands. He was so focused on the Andaluzyian crystal and how phenomenal that it felt to him that he caught the way Xarael and Raphael, both of whom were with Michael, almost flinched away from it. Nor did he miss how his oldest brother didn't draw away from it. That alone told him that he'd been right to come here first even before Michael's face turned curious and his brother leaned forwards, towards his and Dean's crystal. Normally all other angels were either repulsed or neutral towards the crystal of a pair about to be bonded, especially when it had already been touched by one of the intended pair.
"Castiel," Xarael said reverently, her eyes on the crystal even if it held no enticement to her. "You found it."
"Yes," Castiel replied, knowing exactly what she meant.
Often they still didn't need words, not after those early months having worked so closely together to regain order in Heaven. He'd taken great care during his growing relationship with first Michael and then Raphael to not let his connection with her slide even if she came to Earth far less often.
"Do you wish to do it now, Brother?" Michael inquired, stepping closer.
"Please."
"Bond well," Raphael said.
"Yes, bond well, Brother," Xarael added.
"Thank you," Castiel replied, lowering his head in deference to the standard congratulatory wish.
With a final glance towards Michael, Castiel took to flight once more, heading for what he now considered to be his home more than Heaven. He still held out hope though that one day Dean might come to see that Heaven was not as bad as his mate thought it was. Not only had Zachariah just shown Dean one small portion of it, but his late brother had also broken countless rules to make it far more akin to Hell than any of the other angel who'd learned of what had transpired had ever believed was possible.
The thought of that and of what Michael had told him about Dean's nightmare that one night was still enough to enrage Castiel but he cast all that aside now. There was not only nothing that he could do about it at present, but it would also only serve to taint the bonding. No, he'd leave it for now and then take the time to show his mate how Heaven had changed later, after they'd dealt with the Apocalypse.
The moment Castiel landed in the apartment, his eyes sought out Dean who was standing in the kitchen before an opened cupboard. It was the one in which his mate stored any candy that Dean had bought and where he'd occasionally leave something sweet that he'd gotten from another part of the world.
"Hey," Dean said, glancing over his shoulder to see which of them it was.
Castiel knew the moment his mate caught sight of the Andaluzyian crystal he held as Dean stilled in a way that he'd rarely ever seen. Slowly his hunter turned around to face him though his mate's eyes never left the crystal. Part of him was still feeling the awe and draw of the original discovery so he knew exactly what it was that Dean was experiencing just now. The temptation to just reach out and claim, to commence the bonding, was so strong as to be almost irresistible and he knew that he'd made the right decision to go to Michael first as he knew that he wouldn't have been able to make himself leave now. Not with the ability to- finally!- fully bond with Dean literally right in his grasp. As it was, it was all that he could do to still it for long enough to ensure that his mate was completely ready so that Dean could enjoy the experience fully.
"It... it's... perfect," Dean finally breathed, stopping only a short distance away and even that was clearly an effort for his hunter. "Can we do it now? Is everything ready?"
"Almost," Castiel replied, waiting for his mate to drag his eyes away from the crystal long enough to look at him. "You need to hold it alone first before we can begin."
"Alone? Why?"
"It is so that you become familiar with the power of the crystal and how it will affect your soul before the experience is compounded by Castiel's Grace," Michael explained, finally stepping forward himself.
It didn't escape Castiel's notice that his brother gave him a wide berth as Michael did so. He was grateful for the understanding as it was one more thing that he didn't have to worry about and he'd hate for this, what would undoubtedly be the most important event in his existence, to be marred by any kind of fissure in the relationship with his brother.
"Oh, okay," Dean responded. "What's it like?"
"It is hard to explain," Castiel replied truthfully. "It will open up your soul in a way that it has never been before."
"Even when you pulled me from Hell or with our kalsika?"
"Yes, even more than then."
Dean nodded in a way that Castiel recognized as a way for his hunter to distract himself and to give his mate a moment to compose himself and prepare for what Dean was about to do. The urge to check that his mate was sure about this rose within him but he repressed it. If there was one thing that Dean Winchester had already proven irrevocably it was that his mate couldn't and wouldn't be forced into doing things that his hunter hadn't full well decided to do and no one had done anything even remotely similar to forcing here. Dean had been the one to seek out more information on the bonding (the angelic bonding) and Dean had been the one to commence the ritual and to contact him. His mate knew what he was doing and had made his decision long before.
No, this was about his mate needing a few moments to compose himself before doing something that Dean had fought against all of his life. Namely opening himself up, wholly and completely, to another being. Castiel knew how strongly and instinctively his mate protected himself in that way and he doubted that even his hunter realized how shielded he'd be on some level even when they'd both held their kalsika.
Far sooner than Castiel had expected, Dean nodded once decisively and held out his hands.
"I'm ready," his mate declared.
With great care, Castiel reached out and held the Andaluzyian crystal above Dean's cupped hands and dropped it to ensure that they didn't both touch the crystal at the same time. Once that was accomplished, he forced himself to step back to help distance himself from the temptation to reach out and close the connection between them. He did not, however, remove his eyes from his mate for even an instant and therefore saw every nuance of his mate's reaction to the power and influence of their crystal.
The moment it had touched his hands, Dean's eyes had opened wide and Castiel knew from recent personal experience that nothing could have truly prepared his mate for the feeling of actually holding your Andaluzyian crystal. The emotions passed hard and fast through his mate's eyes, most still beyond his grasp to identify within himself left alone anyone else despite how far he'd come in his understanding of them. The ones he did recognize only increased his longing to commence the actual bonding and share them all with Dean.
/
The moment that the Andaluzyian crystal touched his hands, any illusions that Dean'd had of having been prepared for this moment were instantly and thoroughly shattered into a million tiny pieces. It made him think of his and Castiel's recent experience with their kalsika in both the power and the sheer intensity of it and yet it was totally different.
Dean was absolutely no stranger when it came to knowing his own soul, indeed he was quite probably the human who knew his soul the best out of all living beings, and even still he was hopelessly overwhelmed by his sudden awareness of it now. His lover hadn't been kidding in the slightest when Castiel had said that this was nothing like any of the other soul things that he'd experienced before. He couldn't even begin to think about comparing them let alone actually understanding it!
All that Dean knew was that he felt incredibly open and vulnerable in a way that he never had before in his life. It felt like his soul had always been folded somehow and hidden away even when Michael or Castiel had touched and held it before. But not anymore. No, now it felt open, exposed for everyone to see and touch.
And hurt.
The latter made Dean shudder and he wanted to draw back, to tuck his soul away again the way that it had been before, safe and sound within his meatsuit where most people couldn't reach it let alone actually harm it. The memories of Hell were quick to return to him after months of silence, reminding him of just how easily and how much pain the soul could feel and all of that had been before it had been this laid bare for anyone to do with as they pleased. It was like all of his worst fears about vulnerability magnified a hundred thousand times in a way that he'd never even been able to imagine before and yet, at the same time, there was something else there as well. Something he couldn't quite identify but which demanded his attention nonetheless.
With a concerted effort, Dean tried to push aside his other feelings to focus on this other thing. When he finally did so, it was like being dunked into a tank full of loneliness and longing and for a moment he was sure that he'd drown in it all. He floundered, desperately scrambling for the surface, panic seeping in before he finally managed to pull himself back out again.
What the Hell?
The unexpected and chaotic jumble of emotions within him took Dean a moment to work through, but when he did he felt shaken to his very core. Just as the kalsika had made it impossible for him to either hide from or deny Castiel's true feelings for him, the Andaluzyian crystal made it impossible for him to try and deceive himself, either consciously or unconsciously, as to his own thoughts and feelings. All of that impossible loneliness that he'd just felt, it was all his own and not just that which he'd felt once, briefly, but that which he'd felt so often and for so long that it had become a very integral part of himself right down to his very soul. The longing, meanwhile, was the fervent hope that he wouldn't always feel that way; that he'd one day find someone like Castiel who'd take all of the loneliness away. The problem was that he'd felt it for so long and had so adamantly refused to see it that it had grown inwards and planted its roots so exceptionally deep that even now, after all of the time that he'd spent with his lover and all that they'd shared, it still hadn't entirely gone away.
The realization was enough to take Dean's breath away in stunned shock. Now that he was aware of it, he couldn't understand how it hadn't always been obvious to him and he wondered just how far in denial he'd been to be able to overlook it so completely for all these years. Naturally, since he was still holding the Andaluzyian crystal, he quickly found out exactly how he'd managed it and the urge to simply drop the crystal rose within him. The only reason that he didn't was because while his angel had taken a step back after passing the crystal to him, Castiel hadn't look away from him, not even for a moment, and so he could see the sheer longing and love within his lover's blue eyes.
That was enough to remind Dean of everything that he'd felt when they'd both held their kalsika which in turn introduced a new element to his thoughts. Yes he was still experiencing all of the openness and vulnerability from before, but now he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to experience that with Castiel and his lover's Grace all around him, equally open and free.
To be that closely bonded with his angel.
The mere thought was enough to make Dean's heart start to race and all of the love and desire he felt for Castiel came rushing back over him, easily washing aside any and all doubts and fears. It was almost frightening in a way just how quickly it was all gone despite the vulnerability he still felt, though even that was starting to morph and fade. It just seemed impossible to feel vulnerable with his angel around, not when he knew the lengths to which Castiel would go not only at his request, but also for him as well.
It simply removed all of his fears and reservations and Dean was instead left with the burning desire to feel his lover's Grace as open and free as his soul was and, most importantly, to join with it forevermore. To never be alone or vulnerable again, ever.
A.N.: Okay, so officially the hand is better (doctor approved levels anyway), so hopefully I'll be able to get back to typing more!
Chapter 139