Feeling okay with leading a double life?

[leolapyre]

Does anyone here lead a "double life" and have no intention of ever coming out to certain people? I have one identity that I use with my family and at work and another that I use with close friends and people I can I feel I can trust. To my surprise, it hasn't been all that bad leading a double life. As long as I can keep my temptation to go on

Comments

[jump_zinc]

I try to be myself as much as I can but I am not out to anyone except one friend who I don't see very often and my husband. Sometimes I just want to scream out to everyone at work that I'm trans but I don't think that it would go over very well. I think that as I allow myself to be myself more it may become obvious, I don't know. It does feel kind of like a double life but I try not to let it effect me too much. Right now I'm okay to be perceived as not a girly girl and I think that I might be on my way to not caring.

[apple_peelings]

I'm pretty much where jump_zinc is, and don't feel dysphoric per se, but recently discovered I'm in many ways a lot happier when people accept me as male. Difficult in some ways because I'm not necessarily sure I want to try and 'live as a man' because I'm not really comfortable with that stereotyping, and after being very unhappy as a woman for a while, and very actively conditioning myself to enjoy the advantages I could find, I do now genuinely enjoy many aspects of being a guy with a girl body, and I'm not keen on messing with my head again trying to undo my self-programming when I'm not unhappy as I am. I think largely because most people don't seem to see my gender as a part of my identity, and seem in some ways to apply guy rules to me without thinking, which I think wouldn't necessarily be the case if they were consciously trying to respect my gender. It's a puzzle, and I can see myself wanting to properly transition when I'm older, but for now happy to only be out where it'll be accepted without my having to fight for it. Not

[gennee]

I'm out only to my wife and son, the groups that I'm with and two people outside my circle. Haven't told my brother and sister because I don't feel the need to tell them. I'm not stressed at all by this.

[carrietg]

I personally find a double life really hard

[disdwarf]

I've told my father I'm a girl, not that he was happy to hear that. When I go out I purposefully genderqueerize my appearance without cross-dressing yet. I don't want to keep my identity hidden. If people ask I just say I like to paint-polish my long nails and that I don't believe in gender roles or that I'm a feminist or aspiring fashion designer to signal my feminity without specifically using the word. I don't care much if people think of me as gay or something (well, close enough, I'm a lesbian hahahha), but society is still old-fashioned here and one can't do much without attracting haters (yay I got my first verbal abuse recently). If I had a job I'd probably tone-down a bit, but still wear pink clothing or something. I think a double life is bad because if we don't show what we truly are then we'll never be free! It's a political decision, we must show we're different so that society respects us!