Newbie Confusbie

[radioroxie]

Hi All

Comments

[gymx]

Does your partner know how you feel? Having someone in on the siutation and supporting you can be a great help to coping.

[radioroxie]

Yes, she does. Actually she feels quite a bit the same way as I do, so that definitely makes it easier. She's a very big help to me, I'm very lucky. :)

[omiscully]

It's not weird to identify as both gay and trans.

[radioroxie]

Yes, you're absolutely correct. But it also creates such a hard time in regards to my own self-image. I just can never be happy at what I see in the mirror...

[radioroxie]

I think also, I'm just struggling with my physical identity. I feel like who I am (internally) is just fine. I guess for me I just would like to start expressing myself physically a bit more to reflect who I am. I'd like to present myself as a bit more boyish in general: shorter hair, maybe binding (once it's not hot out anymore). One big obstacle is my weight and my appearance in general. I'm rather chubby and curvy. I'm trying to lose a bit of weight, but also am wondering if any non-androgynous appearing people out there have struggled with the same thing and maybe how they went about getting around those things?

[chasingtides]

I'm small and thin, but I've got a traditional hour glass figure and highly feminine features. (It doesn't help either that I'm 5'1 and fine boned.)

I layer because binding can be painful for me. (I especially like doing - obviously not in this heat - sports bra, undershirt, undershirt, plain t-shirt, plaid shirt. It really successfully hides my shape.) Shorts are my enemy - I have a couple pairs of men's shorts, but they end up making me look more like a lesbian than a boy.

I wear men's shoes, which makes me happy, even though I'm only a men's size six. Going to someone who cuts men's hair for my haircut has been good. My ears are pierced and won't heal up, so I've been gauging them. It fits with me more than the girlish plain earrings.

I'm personally hoping for chest surgery, some day, when I have better insurance. Until then, it's the little things. And the little details do honestly help cue people even more than the pricey binder.

[pink_pet]

I can relate, but in reverse. I was identified male at birth, but I identify more as female.

And I've always felt like a lesbian. I've dated and played with lesbians though I get frustrated because I feel like I don't fit in to that community and not all lesbians accept me.

I've decided against transition. And I've never really tried to present as female, but I try and mix up my look. In fact, I now feel like I have my "boy" clothes and my "girl" clothes. I feel like I don't "pass" very well in either set.

For work I wear girl jeans and tight shirts, or boy jeans and button down shirts. When I go to parties I wear skirts and more fetishy girl clothes. I don't really do make up and I don't tuck, so it's a pretty genderqueer look. I'm lucky that my friends and partners accepts me as genderqueer.

[dorian_pink]

I can relate to this. I'm in my forties, married with kids, and only just now starting to come to terms with the fact that i've actually always identified as a gay man. I don't have anything constuctive to add really as i'm finding it all very confusing myself, but feel free to add me if you feel like it ;-)

[brydlopa]

Hi, do you mind if I add you too?

[radioroxie]

Sure, go right ahead! :)

[radioroxie]

Added you back as well!