My Cherokee left today, she has been here for about two weeks and has helped me through the Fox Meltdown and through the constant fears that linger from my recent betrayal. Family issues in Oklahoma and I hope it goes well. I miss having another person here... Though John has decided to move in here next week, now to break the news to Kin Mit Mit ( Read more... )

As I have already said things between Fox and I are finished. I see a clearer life ahead with John. I do admit to my own fears because of and issue brought up to by John about a month ago. My life with Fox was very open. I have to relearn what it is to have an one on one relationship. I lied about an intimate encounter with someone before we got ( Read more... )

So it seems all my dreams and nightmares have come to pass, Fox who i thought was to be mine forever ended on awful note with betrayal. In a fallen land I found a bright light that helps me see the truth in what I thought was perfect ( Read more... )

So i have had an idea... maybe an epiphany. I am afraid to be alone but its more that I am scared to lose someone and not be able to say goodbye. Its my fear of never seeing you again ( Read more... )

So it has been awhile since I write anything really, journal, poems, anything. Fox has been gone 48 days and its weird. I get letter has from him, and I miss him so much more... if that is even possible. I am a irritated that his divorce has not started. Dimples went and got her military ID and I admit I a was hit with a tinge of Jealously. Fox ( Read more... )

Things here are a little easier, it doesn't feel like two weeks that he has been gone. Now that I am in the mix of things it feels worse and longer than I had originally planned. Sometimes the invitation Voice extended is tempting but I can't and don't love him as I do Fox ( Read more... )

it is somewhat late, my phone id being weird, I am in my own apartment been here about 3 months now. Got a job, made some friends Eyes is great. I wish she would open up to me more but she has her own issues to work through. I am kinda bummed my phone is being weird i was going to leave Fox a message at random times of the day to show I miss him. ( Read more... )

So... I got my own place in Sacramento its smal but good for me. Fox has retreated to So-cal and once again left me here to work and be alone before his ship date. Do I think I can handle him being away, I am honestly not too sure today. Some days I think its not to bad and days like now well its... put simply hard. I am not good at alone, I am a ( Read more... )

Its been two weeks tomorrow since he has been gone.... I am climbing the walls cause I miss him. Things here with are different, I think Dimples is sometimes two faced, she asks Fox things that she and I should be discussing. This new sickness I have been diagnosed with is not good, or curable but I would never put a child in danger because of it. ( Read more... )

So here I fucking am, in Sacramento, by myself. We didn't make it money wise, so Fox headed south. I am here with Dimples, living with her and her boyfriend, taking care of her baby. Voice brings up things that I won't admit, which is sad that he knows me better than most. Yes he's right Fox did kinda volunteer me for this gig, I did agree to it ( Read more... )