sex complicates everything. i get hurt everytime by sex. by men only wanting me for sex and never wanting to date me. like brent and walt. like brent and walt. like brent and walt. possibly the two men i've gone out with, out of the seemingly millions, who i was in love with. like brent and walt. like brent i went back to walt and only got ( Read more... )

i am so depressed.

all i wanted was him.

the one thing i ever really, honestly wanted,

for some reason i could not have.

and he is so mean

so cruel and ruthless,

raw and bitter,

but

when he turns all that off,

christ.

i wanted the the morning to come,

in the press of every kiss.

it's just not fair,

that i wasn't the one.

i feel sick, i have just eaten, want to puke it up. must go to work, must not cry. must not hate self ( Read more... )

i just can't believe that he held me ( Read more... )

But he kept coming back to me, said no you can't get rid of me, said no I won't give in to you, said yes you will if I will you to.A hiatus from Livejournal. Not that anyone reads this, not that I have any idea why I write in it. Some friend recommended it for its theraputic properties and so far all it's done for me has been to put my pathetic ( Read more... )

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don't you just love the kind of shit holes with cocks up and ready to shove into your vagina?

they are what makes my world go round. that and self-destructive behaviours.

I am sick of self righteous assholes who think that they can control my every move with tongue twisting manipulation and fucked up motives. Before you go around acting as if you are something better than I am, or than he is, take a look in that mirror of yours. You, in fact, wh\ere the person who chose to destroy a happy family instead of trying ( Read more... )

The binges leave me feeling like the color red; scathing, dry, painful, hot, itchy, diseased, bloodied, alive, dead. I remember one time waking up and not knowing who I was; it was a strange feeling, since I knew exactly where I was, what and who I'd been doing, and why I felt red. But the memory of who I was had completely left me for about five ( Read more... )

i spent the entire night with something in my arms that i couldn't hold.