How do I Breathe
Title: How do I Breathe [Pt.1]
Character/Pairing: hinted(potential)!MyungGyu, broken!WooGyu
Rating: PG-15 (for mature themes)
Genre: Angst
Best Read after How (not) to Deal
.
Sunggyu’s fist comes down hard on the picture frame and he’s left nursing a bleeding hand. He does it unintentionally (impulsively) when he wonders for too long why the photo is still staring up at him (taunting him of things that will never be). Sunggyu merely creates more cracks on the glass and removes more pieces, the small shards embedding themselves in the side of his palm.
His teeth are so clenched that the action is hurting his jaw, and Sunggyu manages to drag himself away from the cabinet, collapsing against the opposite wall and sliding down to the floor. Blood is trickling down his hand and it looks painful, but it’s all superficial and it’s nothing compared to how he feels on the inside.
How has it been weeks and he still feels the same? Like his insides have been ripped out, like his head is a war zone and his heart has been sliced in a way so that the pieces can’t be put back together. Gruesome and bloody and broken- that’s how Woohyun gave his heart back.
Do four years really mean nothing to you, Woohyun?
.
It was Dongwoo this time, who knocked on his door and then almost had a heart attack at the sight of his hand. The blood had dried up by then, a dull throb that came back to life as soon as the antiseptic touched his skin and Sunggyu actually hisses.
“Myungsoo’s been asking about you.”
Sunggyu flinches at the mention, glad that Dongwoo isn’t looking his way. He hasn’t talked to Myungsoo since the incident, hasn’t wanted to think about Myungsoo because Sunggyu already hates himself enough (he’s surprised that Howon hasn’t come busting down his door-he was always did seem a little protective of the younger boy).
“How come you haven’t been answering your phone?”
Sunggyu’s phone is still on the floor from when he had thrown it, probably out of batteries by now since he hasn’t heard a single peep from the device.
“It’s-” His voice comes out hoarse and Sunggyu clears his throat. “It’s dead.”
He gets up from where they’ve been sitting on the couch, bloodied cotton balls and empty plaster wrappers on the table and the smell of rubbing alcohol in the air. Dongwoo had long put down the tweezers he had used to pluck out the shards of glass, all four, and moves to discard everything into the trash can.
Sunggyu eyes the open cigarette pack and then the six-pack of beer on his kitchen counter before pulling a can from the plastic rings.
“Gyu-hyung,” Dongwoo says and Sunggyu ignores the worry that’s laced in his voice.
“What?” Sunggyu leans back against the table top, can still unopened in his hand.
“You keep doing this to yourself…” Dongwoo visibly swallows. “Have you- have you talked to him?”
The fury that rises in his chest almost drowns out the pain his damaged heart keeps pumping through his veins, and Sunggyu has to focus to keep his hand from trembling.
The silence is too much so Sunggyu loops the empty plastic ring and drags the rest of the cans with him as he makes his way back to the couch, ignoring Dongwoo’s stuttering protests.
“Hyung, I know,” Dongwoo says, a slight desperation in his eyes. “I know, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself-”
Sunggyu plops himself down, making the action as loud as he can and opening the beer can with an equally loud snap.
“Gyu-”
“Get out, or shut up.”
Dongwoo stays quiet but doesn’t leave, and Sunggyu chooses to ignore him as the familiar liquid quenches a thirst he doesn’t have (or will always have?).
Sunggyu drinks himself to death, like he does every night.
.
“Where are we going?”
Woohyun just laughs, pulling him along and ignoring his grumbles. They’re out on the school field, and there aren’t that many people around because it’s the weekend and anyone who is around is probably in the library studying for exams. Like they should be.
“Woohyun…” he whines when the younger boy continues to drag him across the green grass, and he can’t help but act like a limp doll at his boyfriend’s clutches.
“What are we-”
“Here.”
Woohyun stops and the older boy turns to find Woohyun smirking, a small curl at the edge of his lip that looks smug, eyes flickering with mirth.
“Woohyun-”
“Gyu, stop whining.”
But he can’t help it. They’re supposed to be studying and it’s cold and he’s tired and-
The sprinkles turn on and he can’t help but shriek, liquid spraying everywhere and somewhere in the background he can hear Woohyun roaring with laughter. The elder is trying to blink the water out of his eyes, trying to shield his face from the continuous spray and Woohyun is still laughing-
“Yah! Nam Woohyun! Yah!”
His boyfriend is still laughing but he’s running now, running around in circles and the older male hates that Woohyun isn’t bothering to run off the field. Because Woohyun is sprinting between the sprinkles as he chases him, both of them getting soaked by the water. He’s chasing him and yelling because now they’re both drenched and Woohyun is still laughing and how does he find this so funny?
Woohyun finds it really funny because he slows at one point, hand clutching his stomach as his body shakes from laughter and the amber head takes the opportunity to tackle him. Woohyun flails underneath his grasp but otherwise is too busy cracking up to pull away as his boyfriend hits his arm and proceeds to shake him fiercely by the shoulders. The anger has already melted though- Woohyun’s laughter is too contagious, too beautiful for him to stay angry. The boy’s brown locks are wet and stuck to his forehead, water clinging to his eyelashes and his eyes are crinkled and his dimples are prominent in a too wide grin. He would never admit it, but Woohyun’s smile is breathtaking.
They both collapse on the dry pavement just outside the field, their clothes darkening the cement beneath them. He hasn’t caught his breath yet, but from the panting from his left neither has Woohyun. It takes a few minutes (a few hours?) before either of them say anything. He likes it, just lying next to Woohyun and taking in the sun and spring air.
“So,” he starts, eyes closed, “what was that all about? If I get a cold, it’s totally your fault.”
Woohyun just snorts but he can practically hear the smile in the younger boy’s chuckles. “Just celebrating.”
“Celebrating what?”
“The fact that you have such an awesome boyfriend.”
“Yah.” If he had enough energy, he would have turned and hit him (all he can muscle is another “yah!”).
“You know,” Woohyun says, and the older boy peaks to see that Woohyun’s propped himself on an elbow to look at him, “you confessed, two years ago today.”
He draws his brows in confusion. “Huh?”
“I thought you were having a nervous breakdown. You’d been studying from sunrise to sundown, and when I tried to cheer you up you started to avoid me like the plague, so I really didn’t know what to think.” Woohyun smirks, the same smug smile playing on his lips as he sighs out in content. “And then you went and said the words I had wanted to hear that whole year.”
He frowns. “Stop being so greasy.”
“Hey!” Woohyun juts out his lower lip. “I’m trying to have a moment here!”
“So this is why we’re out here soaking wet instead of inside studying like we should be.”
The amber head holds back a smile and his boyfriend rolls his eyes.
“It’s not my fault you confessed during exam season. Our first date ended up being like, two weeks later because we had no time.”
There a short silence before Woohyun speaks again.
“Happy second anniversary, Gyu.”
The elder hesitates. “Before the official one?”
“Stop ruining the moment!”
He arches a brow and watches as Woohyun’s pout falters before a gentle smile sneaks its way onto the younger boy’s full lips and lights up his eyes.
Woohyun is perfect.
.
When Sunggyu sees Myungsoo in the corner of his vision, he almost thinks he’s drunk (which he can’t be-he’s only at his fourth beer and that’s not enough for him to completely lose his senses-not anymore). He blinks a few times and then proceeds to groan.
“How’d you get in?”
“Dongwoo-hyung lent me your key.”
Myungsoo is already moving, picking up bottles that have yet to be opened and Sunggyu groans again. “Yah, you can’t just come here and-”
Sunggyu reaches for a bottle but Myungsoo easily evades him, piling the beer back on the kitchen counter.
“Are you going to keep doing this to yourself?” he asks, turning almond eyes on him.
The gaze catches something inside of him and Sunggyu stops. His heart stops and his mind stops and Sunggyu pulls himself up. He walks over and Myungsoo visibly tenses.
“Why are you here?” Sunggyu says steely once he’s standing in front of the younger male. Myungsoo swallows but doesn’t answer so Sunggyu leans in, hand against the counter that Myungsoo has backed into. “Why are you here?”
This time he whispers it before he does exactly what he’s been hating himself for for the past week. Myungsoo’s lips don’t move against his, but Sunggyu doesn’t care. The younger boy isn’t trying hard enough in Sunggyu’s opinion. There are hands pushing him back but there’s no strength behind them, a face that moves away but not far enough, and Sunggyu easily traps everything in place.
He’s not smashed, not drunk but he’s intoxicated. His mind is fuzzy and he’s past being tipsy but he’s almost sure that if Myungsoo pushed him hard enough, punched him like he ought to Sunggyu would stop. But there’s not enough resistance to shake Sunggyu’s mind, even though the feel is wrong, the sounds are wrong, the scent is wrong-
“Hyung, please st-”
Woohyun doesn’t sound like that. Woohyun-
“Hyung-”
Woohyun doesn’t call him that, especially not in bed. Woo-
“Sunggyu-”
That’s better.
.
Myungsoo remembers waking up to a room that’s not familiar, to a bed that’s not his. It doesn’t take as long this time for the memories of the night before to resurface, but this time there’s a dull ache that replaces the sharp pain he had experienced compared to the first time. This time, his body isn’t as sore, isn’t as beaten up and Myungsoo doesn’t really know what to think about it.
He slips on his clothes and gently opens the door, walking into a quiet living room that’s dim from the morning rays. Myungsoo lets out a heavy sigh.
It’s not even his place, it’s Sunggyu’s, but once again Myungsoo’s woken up to find Sunggyu gone.
.
“That’ll be all for today. Your assignments will be handed back next week. If you have any questions,” he pauses to look at the boy who already has a hand in the air, “email your professor.”
There’s a note of finality in his voice and the boy frowns and drops his arm, and his tutorial class of fifteen starts packing. Sunggyu watches as all of the first years leave before he collapses in his chair, knocking his head down on his desk. He’s even more tired than he usually is, because he had wandered all night (all morning?) to vacate his place (and stay as far away from Myungsoo as he could).
His throat is dry and he tries to swallow, the action merely making it feel worse. Memories flood his mind and he scrunches his face in protest, hands balling into fists in his lap.
Myungsoo doesn’t deserve any of it, but Sunggyu is so so stupid, what was he thinking? What was Myungsoo thinking? Why didn’t the younger boy kick his ass like he should have? Alcohol or not, Sunggyu is an asshole of a friend and fuck fuck fuck fuck.
But why?
Why what?
Why are you hating on yourself? You were hurt before-beaten and stabbed and tortured-you’re still hurting now-so why can’t you hurt others?
Because it’s wrong.
But you did all the right things and yet here you are. You did all the right things so why are you still bleeding? Why are you still writhing in pain? You did all the right things and Nam Woohyun still left you.
He still left you. He left you before you even found out.
.
Myungsoo is at fault. He’s the one who first introduced Woohyun to Sungyeol, the one who insisted they meet because they’d get along swell, the one who suggested they hang out because they had so much in common (apparently too much, and Myungsoo didn’t see it until it was too late).
Myungsoo hates himself because he’d thought they’d become the best of friends, because Woohyun’s love for Sunggyu was unshakeable (or so he believed-truly believed) so there really wasn’t anything to worry about it. He had put too much trust in Woohyun, so when Myungsoo continuously saw them together at the café, he didn’t think much of it (partially because he was the one who suggested it-Woohyun complained about being bored since everyone was busy).
He didn’t think much of it until he walked in on Woohyun pushing Sungyeol against the wall, their mouths connected and hands roaming and Myungsoo was sure he looked like a character straight from a manga- jaw unhinged and eyes like saucers. Woohyun had rushed to him, begging him (pleading-Myungsoo had never seen him so desperate) not to breathe a word about what he saw.
So Myungsoo was left to watch on the sidelines as Woohyun would lie to Sunggyu, and Sunggyu would continue to love Woohyun. Myungsoo was stuck waiting for the ticking time bomb to go off, waiting for everything to come crumbling down.
And when it did, Myungsoo was faced with the fact that the only person with the ability to pick up the broken pieces of Sunggyu’s shattered heart was the person who had broken it in the first place. It turned out to be an impossible task, because that someone now had someone else’s heart to take care of.
So Myungsoo is okay with being Sunggyu’s tool. Myungsoo is okay with being Woohyun’s replacement (it’s as close as he’ll ever get) if that will help Sunggyu heal. Myungsoo is okay with being on the receiving end when Sunggyu is expressing his pain, because if Sunggyu feels better then that’s all that matters.
It’s all Myungsoo can do to make up for his guilt, because something deep down stirs inside him-useless feelings long buried and suppressed to the point that Myungsoo could fool himself otherwise. Because when Sunggyu and Woohyun break up, Myungsoo can’t do anything to stop the spark of hope (of happiness) that sneaks in like a candle light in the darkness (it’s that evident and Myungsoo hates himself for it).
*
[a/n]: omg there's so much angst ._.
- Pt.2 -
Character/Pairing: hinted(potential)!MyungGyu, broken!WooGyu
Rating: PG-15 (for mature themes)
Genre: Angst
Best Read after How (not) to Deal
.
Sunggyu’s fist comes down hard on the picture frame and he’s left nursing a bleeding hand. He does it unintentionally (impulsively) when he wonders for too long why the photo is still staring up at him (taunting him of things that will never be). Sunggyu merely creates more cracks on the glass and removes more pieces, the small shards embedding themselves in the side of his palm.
His teeth are so clenched that the action is hurting his jaw, and Sunggyu manages to drag himself away from the cabinet, collapsing against the opposite wall and sliding down to the floor. Blood is trickling down his hand and it looks painful, but it’s all superficial and it’s nothing compared to how he feels on the inside.
How has it been weeks and he still feels the same? Like his insides have been ripped out, like his head is a war zone and his heart has been sliced in a way so that the pieces can’t be put back together. Gruesome and bloody and broken- that’s how Woohyun gave his heart back.
Do four years really mean nothing to you, Woohyun?
.
It was Dongwoo this time, who knocked on his door and then almost had a heart attack at the sight of his hand. The blood had dried up by then, a dull throb that came back to life as soon as the antiseptic touched his skin and Sunggyu actually hisses.
“Myungsoo’s been asking about you.”
Sunggyu flinches at the mention, glad that Dongwoo isn’t looking his way. He hasn’t talked to Myungsoo since the incident, hasn’t wanted to think about Myungsoo because Sunggyu already hates himself enough (he’s surprised that Howon hasn’t come busting down his door-he was always did seem a little protective of the younger boy).
“How come you haven’t been answering your phone?”
Sunggyu’s phone is still on the floor from when he had thrown it, probably out of batteries by now since he hasn’t heard a single peep from the device.
“It’s-” His voice comes out hoarse and Sunggyu clears his throat. “It’s dead.”
He gets up from where they’ve been sitting on the couch, bloodied cotton balls and empty plaster wrappers on the table and the smell of rubbing alcohol in the air. Dongwoo had long put down the tweezers he had used to pluck out the shards of glass, all four, and moves to discard everything into the trash can.
Sunggyu eyes the open cigarette pack and then the six-pack of beer on his kitchen counter before pulling a can from the plastic rings.
“Gyu-hyung,” Dongwoo says and Sunggyu ignores the worry that’s laced in his voice.
“What?” Sunggyu leans back against the table top, can still unopened in his hand.
“You keep doing this to yourself…” Dongwoo visibly swallows. “Have you- have you talked to him?”
The fury that rises in his chest almost drowns out the pain his damaged heart keeps pumping through his veins, and Sunggyu has to focus to keep his hand from trembling.
The silence is too much so Sunggyu loops the empty plastic ring and drags the rest of the cans with him as he makes his way back to the couch, ignoring Dongwoo’s stuttering protests.
“Hyung, I know,” Dongwoo says, a slight desperation in his eyes. “I know, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself-”
Sunggyu plops himself down, making the action as loud as he can and opening the beer can with an equally loud snap.
“Gyu-”
“Get out, or shut up.”
Dongwoo stays quiet but doesn’t leave, and Sunggyu chooses to ignore him as the familiar liquid quenches a thirst he doesn’t have (or will always have?).
Sunggyu drinks himself to death, like he does every night.
.
“Where are we going?”
Woohyun just laughs, pulling him along and ignoring his grumbles. They’re out on the school field, and there aren’t that many people around because it’s the weekend and anyone who is around is probably in the library studying for exams. Like they should be.
“Woohyun…” he whines when the younger boy continues to drag him across the green grass, and he can’t help but act like a limp doll at his boyfriend’s clutches.
“What are we-”
“Here.”
Woohyun stops and the older boy turns to find Woohyun smirking, a small curl at the edge of his lip that looks smug, eyes flickering with mirth.
“Woohyun-”
“Gyu, stop whining.”
But he can’t help it. They’re supposed to be studying and it’s cold and he’s tired and-
The sprinkles turn on and he can’t help but shriek, liquid spraying everywhere and somewhere in the background he can hear Woohyun roaring with laughter. The elder is trying to blink the water out of his eyes, trying to shield his face from the continuous spray and Woohyun is still laughing-
“Yah! Nam Woohyun! Yah!”
His boyfriend is still laughing but he’s running now, running around in circles and the older male hates that Woohyun isn’t bothering to run off the field. Because Woohyun is sprinting between the sprinkles as he chases him, both of them getting soaked by the water. He’s chasing him and yelling because now they’re both drenched and Woohyun is still laughing and how does he find this so funny?
Woohyun finds it really funny because he slows at one point, hand clutching his stomach as his body shakes from laughter and the amber head takes the opportunity to tackle him. Woohyun flails underneath his grasp but otherwise is too busy cracking up to pull away as his boyfriend hits his arm and proceeds to shake him fiercely by the shoulders. The anger has already melted though- Woohyun’s laughter is too contagious, too beautiful for him to stay angry. The boy’s brown locks are wet and stuck to his forehead, water clinging to his eyelashes and his eyes are crinkled and his dimples are prominent in a too wide grin. He would never admit it, but Woohyun’s smile is breathtaking.
They both collapse on the dry pavement just outside the field, their clothes darkening the cement beneath them. He hasn’t caught his breath yet, but from the panting from his left neither has Woohyun. It takes a few minutes (a few hours?) before either of them say anything. He likes it, just lying next to Woohyun and taking in the sun and spring air.
“So,” he starts, eyes closed, “what was that all about? If I get a cold, it’s totally your fault.”
Woohyun just snorts but he can practically hear the smile in the younger boy’s chuckles. “Just celebrating.”
“Celebrating what?”
“The fact that you have such an awesome boyfriend.”
“Yah.” If he had enough energy, he would have turned and hit him (all he can muscle is another “yah!”).
“You know,” Woohyun says, and the older boy peaks to see that Woohyun’s propped himself on an elbow to look at him, “you confessed, two years ago today.”
He draws his brows in confusion. “Huh?”
“I thought you were having a nervous breakdown. You’d been studying from sunrise to sundown, and when I tried to cheer you up you started to avoid me like the plague, so I really didn’t know what to think.” Woohyun smirks, the same smug smile playing on his lips as he sighs out in content. “And then you went and said the words I had wanted to hear that whole year.”
He frowns. “Stop being so greasy.”
“Hey!” Woohyun juts out his lower lip. “I’m trying to have a moment here!”
“So this is why we’re out here soaking wet instead of inside studying like we should be.”
The amber head holds back a smile and his boyfriend rolls his eyes.
“It’s not my fault you confessed during exam season. Our first date ended up being like, two weeks later because we had no time.”
There a short silence before Woohyun speaks again.
“Happy second anniversary, Gyu.”
The elder hesitates. “Before the official one?”
“Stop ruining the moment!”
He arches a brow and watches as Woohyun’s pout falters before a gentle smile sneaks its way onto the younger boy’s full lips and lights up his eyes.
Woohyun is perfect.
.
When Sunggyu sees Myungsoo in the corner of his vision, he almost thinks he’s drunk (which he can’t be-he’s only at his fourth beer and that’s not enough for him to completely lose his senses-not anymore). He blinks a few times and then proceeds to groan.
“How’d you get in?”
“Dongwoo-hyung lent me your key.”
Myungsoo is already moving, picking up bottles that have yet to be opened and Sunggyu groans again. “Yah, you can’t just come here and-”
Sunggyu reaches for a bottle but Myungsoo easily evades him, piling the beer back on the kitchen counter.
“Are you going to keep doing this to yourself?” he asks, turning almond eyes on him.
The gaze catches something inside of him and Sunggyu stops. His heart stops and his mind stops and Sunggyu pulls himself up. He walks over and Myungsoo visibly tenses.
“Why are you here?” Sunggyu says steely once he’s standing in front of the younger male. Myungsoo swallows but doesn’t answer so Sunggyu leans in, hand against the counter that Myungsoo has backed into. “Why are you here?”
This time he whispers it before he does exactly what he’s been hating himself for for the past week. Myungsoo’s lips don’t move against his, but Sunggyu doesn’t care. The younger boy isn’t trying hard enough in Sunggyu’s opinion. There are hands pushing him back but there’s no strength behind them, a face that moves away but not far enough, and Sunggyu easily traps everything in place.
He’s not smashed, not drunk but he’s intoxicated. His mind is fuzzy and he’s past being tipsy but he’s almost sure that if Myungsoo pushed him hard enough, punched him like he ought to Sunggyu would stop. But there’s not enough resistance to shake Sunggyu’s mind, even though the feel is wrong, the sounds are wrong, the scent is wrong-
“Hyung, please st-”
Woohyun doesn’t sound like that. Woohyun-
“Hyung-”
Woohyun doesn’t call him that, especially not in bed. Woo-
“Sunggyu-”
That’s better.
.
Myungsoo remembers waking up to a room that’s not familiar, to a bed that’s not his. It doesn’t take as long this time for the memories of the night before to resurface, but this time there’s a dull ache that replaces the sharp pain he had experienced compared to the first time. This time, his body isn’t as sore, isn’t as beaten up and Myungsoo doesn’t really know what to think about it.
He slips on his clothes and gently opens the door, walking into a quiet living room that’s dim from the morning rays. Myungsoo lets out a heavy sigh.
It’s not even his place, it’s Sunggyu’s, but once again Myungsoo’s woken up to find Sunggyu gone.
.
“That’ll be all for today. Your assignments will be handed back next week. If you have any questions,” he pauses to look at the boy who already has a hand in the air, “email your professor.”
There’s a note of finality in his voice and the boy frowns and drops his arm, and his tutorial class of fifteen starts packing. Sunggyu watches as all of the first years leave before he collapses in his chair, knocking his head down on his desk. He’s even more tired than he usually is, because he had wandered all night (all morning?) to vacate his place (and stay as far away from Myungsoo as he could).
His throat is dry and he tries to swallow, the action merely making it feel worse. Memories flood his mind and he scrunches his face in protest, hands balling into fists in his lap.
Myungsoo doesn’t deserve any of it, but Sunggyu is so so stupid, what was he thinking? What was Myungsoo thinking? Why didn’t the younger boy kick his ass like he should have? Alcohol or not, Sunggyu is an asshole of a friend and fuck fuck fuck fuck.
But why?
Why what?
Why are you hating on yourself? You were hurt before-beaten and stabbed and tortured-you’re still hurting now-so why can’t you hurt others?
Because it’s wrong.
But you did all the right things and yet here you are. You did all the right things so why are you still bleeding? Why are you still writhing in pain? You did all the right things and Nam Woohyun still left you.
He still left you. He left you before you even found out.
.
Myungsoo is at fault. He’s the one who first introduced Woohyun to Sungyeol, the one who insisted they meet because they’d get along swell, the one who suggested they hang out because they had so much in common (apparently too much, and Myungsoo didn’t see it until it was too late).
Myungsoo hates himself because he’d thought they’d become the best of friends, because Woohyun’s love for Sunggyu was unshakeable (or so he believed-truly believed) so there really wasn’t anything to worry about it. He had put too much trust in Woohyun, so when Myungsoo continuously saw them together at the café, he didn’t think much of it (partially because he was the one who suggested it-Woohyun complained about being bored since everyone was busy).
He didn’t think much of it until he walked in on Woohyun pushing Sungyeol against the wall, their mouths connected and hands roaming and Myungsoo was sure he looked like a character straight from a manga- jaw unhinged and eyes like saucers. Woohyun had rushed to him, begging him (pleading-Myungsoo had never seen him so desperate) not to breathe a word about what he saw.
So Myungsoo was left to watch on the sidelines as Woohyun would lie to Sunggyu, and Sunggyu would continue to love Woohyun. Myungsoo was stuck waiting for the ticking time bomb to go off, waiting for everything to come crumbling down.
And when it did, Myungsoo was faced with the fact that the only person with the ability to pick up the broken pieces of Sunggyu’s shattered heart was the person who had broken it in the first place. It turned out to be an impossible task, because that someone now had someone else’s heart to take care of.
So Myungsoo is okay with being Sunggyu’s tool. Myungsoo is okay with being Woohyun’s replacement (it’s as close as he’ll ever get) if that will help Sunggyu heal. Myungsoo is okay with being on the receiving end when Sunggyu is expressing his pain, because if Sunggyu feels better then that’s all that matters.
It’s all Myungsoo can do to make up for his guilt, because something deep down stirs inside him-useless feelings long buried and suppressed to the point that Myungsoo could fool himself otherwise. Because when Sunggyu and Woohyun break up, Myungsoo can’t do anything to stop the spark of hope (of happiness) that sneaks in like a candle light in the darkness (it’s that evident and Myungsoo hates himself for it).
*
[a/n]: omg there's so much angst ._.
- Pt.2 -