Conversation hearts are getting too damn trendy. That's why I decided conversation hearts should come in two forms so that the consumer can choose one instead of getting stuck with a non-specific blend. Packaging will be done separately for conversation hearts of these two kinds: contemporary and classical ( Read more... )

I can't stand those new commercials where TV stations just try to sell you their news anchors. Tonight I've seen one for Brian Williams, Jodi Applegate and Linda Baquero and guess what? I still don't give a damn who's anchoring the news. It's seems like NBC and ABC don't have any faith in any of their other anchors since Tom Brokaw and Dan Rathers ( Read more... )

Ever notice how every year we all have the same conversation about New Year's resolutions? Frankly, I'm sick of it. It's the same damn conversation and I have it atleast 3 times a year. Lately, I've chosen to not even talk about it when it comes up ( Read more... )

In order to reduce the stress and frustration associated with the holidays I've decided to start a New Christmas. Nothing has ever made more sense either, so just read this and accept its brilliance ( Read more... )

I thought I saw a deer on the side of the road on my way home tonight so I drove very slowly for about 75 feet. Turns out it was just an overturned garbage can with a carboard box sticking half way out. Fancy that ( Read more... )

I really thought it would stop raining after 3 days. I checked weather.com and it was supposed to be clear for the next week. Oh, how quickly that changes...and now it's been raining for the last 5 days. Maybe I should buy some fish for my mobile fishbowl ( Read more... )

So let's talk about weatherstripping. You know, the rubber lining that seals against the door window of your car to keep the rain out. Well, mine is shot in two places and I've been having a little leak problem. Nothing terrible, but bad enough to let a considerable amount of water in ( Read more... )

Guess who's the proud new owner of a Smith-Corona Coronet Electric 12? Thats right, me. I wish I could take my typewriter with me everywhere. If you leave me your address I'll type you a letter ( Read more... )

So who's seen a police minivan?? If I got pulled over by one of those, I'm afraid I just might laugh in the cop's face ( Read more... )

After rounding the total costs of the referendum off to a generous $23,000,000 I came up with some interesting statistics ( Read more... )