Fini

[paganini]

This will more than likely be Paganini's last entry, written not by himself but by the actual flesh and blood Dusty. Paganini passed away last night for the second time, the first time being yesterday morning on my bathroom floor. The paramedics and I brought him back, but he was not able to maintain blood pressure, and thankfully his family didn

Comments

[castevet]

Hi Dusty,

Michael and I didn't always see eye to eye, and he drove me up a wall plenty. I didn't always like him but I did love the guy. I hope you are ok. He always talked so warmly about you.

Take care.

Thanks

[paganini]

I'm not okay, but thanks for asking. Not to be gross, but its difficult to get over performing CPR on a corpse, only to wind up with a corpse again. Harder still was not getting to say goodbye, he never regained consiousness. And then there's "our commercial" (hell, we weren't a couple, but we were buds, so we didn't rank "our song") and every time they played the Carnival Cruise "Your my best friend" he would sing along.

[castevet]

every time they played the Carnival Cruise "Your my best friend" he would sing along.

See, I thought he could be really funny when he let himself go. When he was in boston we watched all the trashy daytime talk shows together and made a list of funny quotes that should be on T-Shirts :)

[castevet]

Thank you for your kind words about Michael. I know he was excited to come visit you guys when he went to Boston. Thank you for being his friend. Try not to remember the last time you spoke and how it was an argument. I know, and so do you, that he most likely wouldn't have remember it as a sum total of your relationship to him.
Jill

[black__orchid]

Hi Dusty,

thanks for posting this. you will be in my thoughts.

-judith

[black__orchid]

Dusty and Michael

[paganini]

Jill, please don't consider yourself one of the anonami (what is the plural to anonmyous?) that I spoke of. Please feel free to call the home or cell number--or actually, I'll call you.

[black__orchid]

thank you for calling dusty. i'm sorry that i didn't say a lot, i was pretty much choking on my own words. i know that michael's sister wants to talk with you, so hopefully she'll be able to get a hold of you. thank you for taking care of michael, i always wanted to tell you that. i'm glad he had you for a friend. i know you did what you could. i know that. and i know you didn't mean that i was one of those mean anonymous posters. i only post that way in here because i have to. when michael and i divorced, we took each other off of one another's journal friend's lists and banned one another too. funny, petty stuff like that, doesn't amount to shit anymore does it? i miss him dusty, i had no idea i would after all that has happened. i feel so guilty for not doing better at keeping elliot in contact with him.

[paganini]

Yeah, bogus this ain't. Really Dusty, Michael really gone (and if you're reading this Jill, his sister got hold of me). Didn't know of a better way to get hold of all the lives he touched other than to post as him, and obviously I had the means. Anyone wanting to talk to me directly can e-mail dcxmyers@earthlink.com. Between laughing and crying and talking to the host of people I have in the past 24 hours, and getting back home to the footprints of paramedics or police on my sheets has not been easy. Those of you I have spoken to on the phone know that the one thing we have in common is that we start crying when we talk--I think we all thought this wouldn't be as hard. In between the tears let us remember the joy we had with him, and the light he brought to us. Hard as it is right now, let us celebrate his life along with mourning our loss.

[anonymous]

dusty,
replied to your e-mail with my lj id. thanks dusty. :)
jill

[castevet]

that's a sweet picture

[castevet]

You look really beautiful and he looks really happy. ♥