You stop writing on here, and it gets really easy to not go back to it or document anything at all and fade to obscurity.  But, I think it's better that I write several things down that has happened for the sake of remembrance, to be honest.  I'll continue this entry in a bit, too tired to do it, now.

Life is ending, soon.  There's nothing to write, because there is nothing that I do.  That has turned into me being nothing that is.  I believe that because I did not fulfil my purpose and do my job in this world, that the world is now falling apart, and it's too late and too big to stop it now, even if I did do something.  The more time goes on ( Read more... )

Go ahead and tell me that I didn't treat my mother well, tonight.  I dare you.  I cooked for her only the best first-class freshwater shrimp.  Shrimp so colossal that they were like miniature lobster tails  the size of your palm, with shells and tails so thick that you couldn't eat them like I normally always love doing, and requiring steak knives ( Read more... )

Surprise of no surprises.  I hear some unexpected news about someone, and that night, I'm dreaming of him.  It's not the usual him that I always dream about, it's the him before that one, whom I now only have dreams about a handful or less times a year.  The dream was kind of fun, James Bond-ish in its nature, where we were working on something ( Read more... )

I dream of you while sleeping in your bed beside you.  No, I should never again write that I will never again associate with him.  I try, but then end up lying every time, for some reason or another.  There is a magical element to my breaking personal oath about this, always, which is so messed up, considering how topical our quasi relationship is ( Read more... )

I do believe it's you, really.  And, how I see it, you've just communicated what I'm worth to you and what my value to you is priced at ( Read more... )

Okay, okay, okay, OKAY!!  It's now been a day and a half.  I've had my major upset about this, and reaction, and anger and victim indulging.  I've come home to no treats waiting for me, no one to love me through this, to settle me down, to soothe me, to make me feel like it's okay and that I am okay.  Nothing, I get and have nothing to make me feel ( Read more... )

You see it on YouTube, but you don't expect to really encounter it in real life...  not in the extreme way as it is portayed, that is.  I mean, in the workplace for what I do, it's different and nearly expected, especially as time goes on and the times become as they are.  People are disgusting, and always have been, and I have known it for decades ( Read more... )

It was inevitable ( Read more... )

When my dad started with the crazy abnornal hiccupping, it only took me seeing this a couple of times before I said what I suspected.  Today, he got his diagnosis, and my suspicions were correct.  Esophageal cancer.  My mom and dad are not internet goers.  They listen to what doctors say, which means they probably weren't given the grim details as ( Read more... )