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[pageeglantine]

Don't cut don't cut don't cutI will be ok until Friday. I will pour it out to the psych. I will possibly cry. He will be concerned. He will fiddle with my medication and arrange group therapy and give me breathing exercises. He will leave me with a pat on the head and a script for pseudosanity

Comments

[shrunken_violet]

Oh honey. I wish there was something I could do or say that would make things feel easier. All I can think of is that I've been there. That feeling of disappointment and half-betrayal when you walk out of an appointment and realise that it didn't magically fix everything. Just hang on. Even if all you can manage to do is keep breathing... that's enough. Just keep breathing, and the rest will come later.

[boredominity]

I agree with this so much. Keep taking it in days, or hours if you need to xo

[pageeglantine]

You know, I'm semi-ok right now, but I'm so scared about what will happen when my strength fails me. I don't want to die.

[shrunken_violet]

Hang on to that thought. If your own strength falters for a while, then lean on others' until you regain your feet. Tell someone - anyone - if you think you might be in danger of that. Even if you don't have a psych appointment, /go/. Once, six years ago, I walked into the A&E department at the local hospital and told them that I had not done anything yet to harm myself, but that I wanted to die. They took me in and they found me a bed for a week until I could tell them that I wanted to go home again and was able to promise them I would still be breathing the following day. They told me that they were happy I went to them before I did anything, and they wished that everyone who felt unsafe that way would do the same.

[omgitsmuggy]

I know the feeling, sweetie. Hang on, it will get better.