oh confounded secrets. who knows what? and i have nothing to hide.

we had a tent, sweat and drama in the wilderness. she gives me stimulus in all the right places. i feel splendidly engaged. i don't want that "only a year" attitude, but it's only a year ( Read more... )

and we had incipient emotional nudity. there was a breakdown moment, the one thing i required in order to move on. i'm content. i like situtations in which i can say, well if this doesn't add up to anything, it must be for the best. everybody does what they like.i'm still hoping for a lot and the narrative still works for me. if she insists on ( Read more... )

she said i love you and apologized. i reciprocated. she arrives in five days. my insides ache like dark chocolate. she's worried that i might not be me. it might not work. she arrives in five days and i'm worried i might not be me. she'll be there seventeen days and i can't decide which pins and needles to put on the floor.

i am very much looking forward to moving out of the church basement. my roommate eats my food and i suspect him of stealing an old stick of deodorant that i wasn't using any longer.

quote:

"oh, and i, uh, had one of your jello packs, hope you don't mind. i like to eat the powder."

remember the following:

if truth is unmediated experience of reality, then it is a matter of perspective.

perspective is mediated by knowledge.

knowledge is static or reactionary.

accumulation is accumulation.

crisis of system required to change it.

weightless evolution as algorythmic process.

marginal nonconformist identities subvert the

raucous righteousness in the next few days. passion. i feel like hiding. my mother hid jelly beans instead of easter eggs in our townhouse ( Read more... )

how many formative years is one allowed? one of these days i'll have to do something, but until then, i'll continue to exploit the system for all it's worth. i need to go for a very long walk with a destination of no particular importance in mind. i need some new shoes. i think i'll buy some flowers ( Read more... )

it began with chance encounters, formal invitations, passionate moments and secret indulgences. i must admit that i'm starry-eyed. this is different. so much wished and hoped for. an unbelievable connection. an immense amount of rationality overcome. six weeks from now we will touch anew, reorient and begin seeking something together.

i have received 1/3 replies for grad school applications, a rejection letter. completely uncertain as to what to expect next.