Dear Diary:
I wished to be exciting so I set myself on fire.

Dear Diary:
I am spending this entire day with dilated pupils. I can't wait until it gets dark so I can play with flashlights.

Dear Diary:
I will never love you more than cheek kisses.

Dear Diary:
If I kept a secret diary, would that be like cheating on you?

Dear Diary:
Yesterday, I watched as a priest exorcised a girl of malignant spirits. I don't think I particularly like that kind of independence.

Dear Diary:
Pancakes are a poor substitute for you.

Dear Diary:
Happiness is a dissected sheep heart.

Dear Diary:
If I had nothing left but one jar of mulch, I would share it with you.

Dear Diary:
I tried to measure the distance between life as I dreamt it and life as it is.

Dear Diary:
A lie can be just as beautiful as the truth.