So, everyone took my post last night as a suicide threat. You're all tard-rific. Like i'd kill myself in a pool! I mean, seriously, what kind of way would that be to kill myself? If I was senselessly drunk I wouldn't even be able to claim it was suicide.I'd have a hard time accidentally falling into a pool on purpose sober or drunk! Anyhow, I ( Read more... )

Uttered too late, and filled with regret:

"Oh god... Why did I drink so much last night?!"


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I told you to keep it PG-13! That was my only life advice to you! Now i've got wiggling little mini-chinchillas with their wiggling little tails and wiggling little faces all over the damn place! I've got half a mind to send you to military school!!
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I'm pretty much just angry at the world right now. The whole world. All of it. Even the parts that are underwater. I feel either harassed, betrayed, or hungry at any given time. I should quit my day job and be emo. I heard people suddenly stop liking you and miraculously leave you the hell alone when you get a job in the emo department. Also, I ( Read more... )

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What a stupid movie. I loved it! I like the part where the girl, and that ghost from the Grudge are trying to speak japanese, but they just keep saying japanese words that don't make sense. "Kawasaki! Sashimi! Tempura!". Anyhow, on the way to the movie theater I ran into one of you-know-who's best friends on the street. He pretended I didn't exist ( Read more... )

I was cleaning out my email last night and found an old email from my friend Eri. It contained three pictures of the two of us together having fun, and one request for me to have 11 children so I could create my own baseball team. It makes me sad to see them because I used to be much more adorable cute than I am now. Stress turned me old and ( Read more... )

While I don't actually have a fever, I dreamed of a trip last night through a vastly different North America. America was like something i'd never seen before, and definitely something that doesn't exist on this earth. The biggest difference was the shape of the continent, and the fact that cities were no longer the cramped tangle of concrete and ( Read more... )

Sometimes when i'm feeling depressed and moody I sit down and think to myself that maybe thousands of millions of worlds exist somewhere else, where thousands of millions of Audris live out their lives in different manners than the one i'm living here. I like to think about what the other Audris are doing, and what paths they took in their lives ( Read more... )

Son of a bitch mother fuck damn it all to fucking hell! I can't even have a best friend without people thinking there's some form of fucking going on! I hate people! I swear off of them the same way I swore off beer! Henceforth ( Read more... )