ugh

Oct 20, 2009 20:00

hello, neglected journal. =A ( Read more... )

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Comments 32

kanna October 21 2009, 02:26:25 UTC
I know what it's like to feel trapped and helpless post-graduation with a miserable family, and it just makes me wish SO BADLY that I could help you right now. Someday when I get up on my feet and have my own place, you are more than welcome to come live with me :( I absolutely mean that and not in a "I say this but I'll back out" kind of way. Nobody should have to live in an environment like that, and I promise that if I ever have the ability to help you in a meaningful way I absolutely will.

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 02:38:52 UTC
Every time I read your posts about how you have to deal with similar bullshit I understand, too. ;A(\ We should live in a tent somewhere together, bitterly gnashing our teeth at anyone who comes near it.

IS THERE A LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL? HOW DO I REACH IT? =A=

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kanna October 21 2009, 02:54:35 UTC
lksjgkj that light BETTER be there somewhere or I'm gonna hang myself with a rope made of my student loan repayment bills.

:'( I just know that someday it's gonna get a whole lot better for both of us as long as we hang the hell in there.

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 04:35:05 UTC
rjklgd so that's what those student loan bills are good for
let's hang in there and try not to... to literally hang in there :(

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annachuu October 21 2009, 02:44:06 UTC
I'm so so so so so so sorry to hear all this ;A; *hugs* I really don't know what to say, nor can I do anything, but I hope that things will get better *prays for you every night*

Good Gosh, I really wish I was rich and financially indepedent so that I can help you ;A;

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 04:36:13 UTC
thank you for the good wishes ;o;

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annachuu October 21 2009, 02:44:46 UTC
And P.S. I missed you ;A;

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 04:36:41 UTC
missed you too ;A; (naked albitro missed you too? orz)

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annachuu October 21 2009, 04:38:31 UTC
(the naked arbitro goes without saying 8D)

And I'm kinda worried about not being paid even after 3 weeks. It's supposed to be a weekly wage right? Maybe you should either check with your boss (not exactly for me to say, but I'm a bit nervous about where he's sending the checks).

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 05:25:54 UTC
I thought they paid every 2 weeks, but I've been there almost 3 and they have my timesheet so I don't know what to expect. No one ever discussed pay with me and things have been so busy with deadlines that I feel like a jerk interrupting them to go "HI PAY ME" ;A; and I need to kick my shyness away orz

but november is the start of my loan payments so i need something soon :'D ANYTHING

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 04:42:50 UTC
I majored in business management (the infamous group of business majors who don't actually know how to do anything). I graduated in a high enough percentile to be a member of a bunch of honors groups, but so far it's not helping any. Right now the economy, my dumb major, and my lack of work experience/car are kicking my ass and making me dependent until I can get my foot in the door. BUT WHERE THE HELL IS THE DOOR :(

... I .. I need the money she's pocketing ;A; when she told me that my aunts and uncles stole my tuition money so I shouldn't accept their handouts because of pride and IT'S DIRTY MONEY WE DON'T NEED THEIR STINKIN MONEY BLAH BLAH, I didn't want it. But now I know that she gave me that "don't accept their money" speech and was hoarding that cash behind my back I feel... cheated from pretty much all ends. 9A9 i quit

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 05:20:36 UTC
I heard they paid bi-monthly, so was crossing my fingers that I'd have something by the end of two weeks. Maybe tomorrow they'll surprise me. ;A; I don't even know what I'm making yet; I just turned in my timesheet and hoped for the best. Car is first on my list, except even though I have one picked out and ready to go, I don't know how to drive it and have to pay for that, too. My school loan is just so massive that even a low interest rate sucks;; it's in the neighborhood of forty thousand dollars so I'll be chipping away at that for quite awhile. :\

I'll just try to hang in there until I can get back on my feet and practice ignoring family bullshit so I can at least stop letting it get to me so much.

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ahvia October 21 2009, 03:32:36 UTC
;A; kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkim

i'm so sorry

well uh i just called my mom and you are more than welcome to go stay at my house for a while if you need to get out of there;; i'm sure my room is mighty lonely without a nerd empress inside it. i know it wouldn't work out with your current job situation but if you haven't been paid in three weeks i don't know if that's a job worth keeping >:'( i know it's not too helpful for jobs and stuff since you'd have no real way of getting around, but if you need time away, my house has TV and internet and a cloud standee who will look you in the eyes and tell you everything is going to be okay. and my family loves you =A=

just say the word ;A;)/

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panjapanja October 21 2009, 04:50:33 UTC
aaaa thank you x 500 for the offer ;A;
but i guess i need to just BRACE MYSELF and work hard so i can get out of this poophole as soon as possible X( this nerd empress has to defend her kingdom

and WHO KNOWS maybe my job will pay me some day :( they're a brand new business so I sometimes wonder if ANYONE there is getting paid but if things work out everything will be ~swell~ (in my mind full of butterflies and rainbows)

your family is the bestest and it's refreshing to see family that doesn't argue all day;; even when my family used to get together for christmas, they'd get FURIOUS over stupid things ("SHE GAVE ME A DIRTY LOOK DID YOU SEE THAT YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS WE'RE GOING HOME") and fight forever.

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panjapanja October 22 2009, 01:23:12 UTC
THANK YOU for your fabulous birthday call ;A;
i was having some dinners at a palace of buffets with my aunt when you called so i couldn't answer but your message was SUNSHINE ON A CLOUDY DAY *A*)/

i'm stupid and leaving an LJ message instead of calling so i can express my joy with little crying faces ;A; ;A; ;A;

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