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I don't know how to express how bad i feel...
...in some way that doesn't seem overdramatic or cliched. But all i know is my heart pretty much echoes the worst goth lyrics one could ever write right now.
I just still can't believe that i'm losing this connection. It felt better than any connection i have EVER felt with any lover before. I feel destroyed. So much mourning. I have the thought of ( Read more... ) -
Dragged through the mud of the past
I don't even know how to explain how painful the heartbreak I'm feeling is. It's physical, squeezing my stomach into knots, turning all my liquids into bile. Nothing smells, feels or tastes the same. Everything is lackluster. It's like a hand is reaching into my chest and squeezing a fist around my heart. My lungs hurt to breathe. So much of my ( Read more... ) -
Staggering vet bills
I don't really use this anymore.
I'm on facebook if you haven't added me on there already. Other than that i really haven't been active blogging or journaling, really ( Read more... ) -
Lots of work needs to be done
I am overall pretty happy lately, but i have been feeling the pervasive and ever-present need to do something creative, that has compounded over months of neglect....why creative juices need to get some serious flow on. I took a 4 day weekend to try to excavate my art corner, which has been buried under piles of boxes and mounds of craft supplies, ( Read more... ) -
Full Circle-y-ness
I've been very happy. Life is good right now. Not perfect, but good. I've been dating a man named Kendall for almost 8 months now, i love him dearly, and things are progressing well. Work has been hard, but it's work. I just got a raise of over a dollar an hour. It makes me exhausted every day, but i like my coworkers a lot, don't hate the job, and ( Read more... ) -
Oh shit.
This poly thing, i guess i am not very good at it ( Read more... ) -
Moop Meep Moop!
Overall, I have been having a really good time lately. I mean, being "single" is new and weird, and that has had its ups and downs too, but right now i am mostly experiencing the ups of it. I think i might be on the verge of an actual, bona fide, semi-stable sort of poly situation for the first time EVER in my life...I mean, first poly situation ( Read more... ) -
Single thoughts.
There is a certain joy in knowing that i can wear whatever i want now, without worrying about the things he did and didn't like on me...i need to impress no one now, other than myself. Yet, knowing that other eyes falling on me will hold no love, it is almost harder...deciding to hold myself to a higher standard to meet their unknown and uncertain ( Read more... ) -
Dream
He is tall, taller than in real life, and i am tiny, an adult but child sized. I start running towards him, arms outstretched, and everything is in slow motion, soft, muted in color, quiet like listening from underwater. He is smiling a beautiful big smile, sweet soft lips, dark eyes with creasing smile lines forming around the corners, but there ( Read more... )