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How many months. Lots of changes.
I think I might have been hospitalized since I last wrote. I lived. There is tons behind that but it's pretty out of mind right now. Over the months I've worked hard, played less hard, and have been reasonably good to myself. I started running - a lot. In a good way, not compulsively. My LiveJournal inspirations ( Read more... ) -
been a few days
hello journal. it's been a few days. i've been very good! no binging, no throwing up, no drinking. I don't remember what i ate before the day before yesterday ( Read more... ) -
will you still like me me if there's 40% less of me?
That's crazy to think about...40%. I could feed an entire nation! I have to harvest this stuff. Anywho ( Read more... ) -
Money
It ruins everything. My mom came in. Something was wrong. She let my brother buy a car in her name years ago. She's got great credit. It's going into repo tomorrow, ruining her credit. She's crying ( Read more... ) -
Catching Quotes
Love Medicine - Louise Eldrich
"There are times I get so hemmed in by my arms and legs I look forward to getting past them. As though death will set me free like a traveling cloud...I'll be out there as a piece of endless body of the world feeling pleasures so much larger than skin and bones and blood." -
Sunday
I've been pretty good lately. Yesterday:
B: Banana and Dr. Pepper
L: None (not a good habit)
S: None
D: Small bag of Veggie Crisps
E: None. Worked until 10:30PM. Still sick.
I'm not starving myself, I just didn't have much opportunity for food yesterday. Still not drinking. It feels great! -
Induced sleep
It starts with the inability of my fingers to type sentences, easy sentences. They act as if this has only to do with the keyboard. But by now the keyboard has become pressing simple rock shapes on land. Mind reaching outside of the self. Is this symbiotic? -
6 already
Weight fluctuates a lot...154 lbs.
And I did yoga last night.
No drinking.
B:Banana, Dr. Pepper, pills -
experiment
Ambien is fucking with me, so so I'm going to see how Pilates goes on this stuff. I like being stretchy. -
Even with a sore throat
Long day. Very long day.
B: Glass of Dr. Pepper
L: Tofu/Bak Choy rice
S: Sagey white bean noodles (lunch tomorrow)
D: Pop, chips, boca-chkn sandwhich (flushed it)
E: None. My throat hurts a lot, I'm tired, and I'm lazy
No drinking tonight. I dont' even feel like it which is great. Two ambien pronto. Can't say no to sleep.