- thirty-second year waiting -

[nurse_boy]

Almost didn't realize what today was. I suppose it sort of--snuck up on me. Wasn't really keeping track, though.

I've been here for a year, now.

... Blimey.

It hasn't felt that long.

Comments

[advocacies]

A whole year?

[nurse_boy]

[he sniffs ironically at the mention of Griffith]

Griffith was only responsible for everyone else--he ... he made them do it against their will.

[and then he sighs]

It's a long story.

[advocacies]

Well, I've got a lot of time here. [ gently pushing him to speak if he really wants to. ]

[nurse_boy]

It's ... sort of hard to explain.

[it's going to come out like pulling teeth, but he honestly does want to tell her the truth]

I mean--I don't have a psychology degree or anything so I can't really say, but I think ... I think we were picked on purpose. Because they knew we were weak and they could make us do what they wanted.

[advocacies]

Then you didn't have intent to kill, Rory.

[nurse_boy]

It doesn't change what I did, though. I hurt people. And it was my decision to--to--

It was my decision to give up Amy.

[advocacies]

[ a long pause. ]

... Why?

[nurse_boy]

[all he can see in his mind's eye is Karen staring up at him in horror, exclaiming, "Amy? What did you do to her?!"]

... Because they made me believe there wasn't any other way. [he sounds a wreck now] They could see my life back home, they knew what I did to her there, they showed it to me and told me I'd do it again here, and I couldn't do that again--

[advocacies]

[ abruptly: ]

-- Rory, stop.

[ she doesn't fully understand but what she can is that this has been eating rory alive since last year. ]

[nurse_boy]

--And, and I didn't know what they would do to her, but--

[he stops mid-sentence when Karen speaks, and all there is for a long moment is silence save for the sound of him breathing hard, deeply, trying to get himself back under control]

[advocacies]

But it wasn't you.

[nurse_boy]

It was. I hadn't--they hadn't changed me yet, when I gave her up. That was ... that was me.

[advocacies]

But you said they made you believe things. They were exploiting your weakness.

[nurse_boy]

[mumbles] Still gave her up. ... The one thing I promised I'd never do.

[advocacies]

[ softly: ]

And you fixed that, didn't you? You married her. That counts for a lot.

[nurse_boy]

[a small laugh that's more like exhaling loudly]

I don't why. Why she stayed with me, I mean. She had every right to leave, after what I did to her.

... But I'm glad she didn't. Really glad.