Comments | partners_of_tg: Intro and Small Vent

turtul in partners_of_tg

Intro and Small Vent

Jan 11, 2008 15:14

I originally posted this in the ftm group, but was redirected here instead. I'm relieved that a group like this exists for partners of FTMs, since I didn't think my posting in the other community was appropriate.

I wanted to do two things with this post. One, introduce myself, and two, ask a question.

I'm Turtul, female, 22, straight. My boyfriend ( Read more... )

Comments 14

annabelle_blue January 11 2008, 20:38:05 UTC

First of all, welcome, even if it's under stressful circumstances. I am glad you found us ( ... )

aki_no_kaze January 11 2008, 20:58:13 UTC

IAWTAC!

I would recommend the OP have a good long sitdown with her BF, to talk about not only what was said, but also to talk about what can be changed in the bedroom.

Chances are good that her BF's own preferences have changed through transition, I know my husband's sure did. things that drove him wild before no do very little for him, and things that were a major turn off can now be the highlight of the night.

I would also recommend a trip to a GOOD sex toy store... not one of those creepy ones with 90% porn movies and poor lighting. A good store with helpful staff will be able to help the two of you to find new and interesting options for the bedroom. Important considerations when looking for a toy are what it's used for, what it's made of, and of course, cost.

oneandonlytrey January 12 2008, 01:11:33 UTC

(I apologize before hand, we just got back from a wedding and I'm a little drunk)

I feel. the same way. My boyfriend says he doesn't mind, and that he enjoys it just as much, etc. etc. But I still know that I don't get him off, and I just wish I could. I know he doesn't really get off during the act (we have a pretty straight-line-down-the-middle relationship, he's on top, that's just how it is), and it tends to upset me. alot.

So. I know where you're coming from, though I don't have any advice. Just know you're not alone. ;D

rorekgwolfe January 12 2008, 05:08:06 UTC

That was a rather insensitive way of saying things on his part. He may have meant that sex is sex period, but even so, I don't think that is true. Awkward sex is horrid, and being insecure can lead to awkward sex. I'm not sure this comment helps at all but I'm not sure what I can say that will help. I agree with other commenters that you should sit down and talk about it, and sexuality between the two of you.

ichbinkelsey January 12 2008, 05:09:18 UTC

Hi, and welcome--I'm really glad you posted over here. I've got a longer response that I'm mulling over right now--I have a whole bunch of these same issues going on with my boyfriend--but it's going to take me a bit to formulate it and I'm pretty beat right now, but I'll be responding for real later on. I hope you enjoy the community in the meantime and can get some good advice!

rinkori January 12 2008, 20:01:58 UTC

What you said about your boyfriend finding men more appealing really struck a chord with me. As my boyfriend transitioned, his sexual orientation changed, and he is now pretty much exclusively attracted to cisgendered men. As I'm a cisgendered woman, I have huge creeping feelings of inadequacy in the sex department, because I know that I'm absolutely not what my boyfriend's typically attracted to. Frequently I think that if he hadn't met me in a time in his life where he was primarily attracted to women, we wouldn't be in a relationship right now ( ... )