Can I just say to EVERYONE, the OP included, how happy this entire conversation made me?
I am reminded all the time of the complexity and difference in our experiences, and it is so refreshing to see people coming together despite and also *because* of our positionality and difference to help each other out.
I am in a lesbian relationship, partnered to a MtF woman, but I have learned so much from other couples in relationships with FtMs, or straight identified couples on here. The wealth of experiences, and the ammount of thinking and care people put into their responses in this group are priceless.
So I just wanted to send a warm ammount of hugs around the group.
Your story Is very much the same as mine except for the fact that my partner has been out as Trans FtM since I have known him. He also identifies as a gay man and I have those same fears. When he gets the surgery will he really still want to be with me who Is def a woman and def likes being with women. I also relate that I feel like I came out to almost just go back in. I am glad I am not the only person with these fears. Hope to hear back from you soon!
Oh gosh, it made me sooo happy to see that I am not the only one in a position similar to yours. Actually, I am in the same exact position except it is reversed.
I am straight (as is my partner) and he recently begun to come out as a male to female. This is my situation...
I've only been out for a few years as a lesbian I am straight and coming to terms with the fact that I may as well go back to being considered straight become a lesbian is seriously irking me. It sounds selfish to say that I want eveyone to know that my partner is actually female male but that would be just one of the internal things I am struggling with. I have always said that I wanted to be there for my partner no matter what, no matter his gender but I am letting insecurities get in the way of that support
Unfortunately I don't know what to say to help you, since I am in the same dilemma, but sometimes it is just nice to know that you're not the only one going through a specific problem.
My partner is an androgynous bio male who wears girl clothes on the weekends, etc. I am pretty much only into guys (I ID as gay), but I love him and we make it work -- mostly, I think, because he doesn't really ID as a woman or want to transition. If he did, it might be more tough for me.
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I am reminded all the time of the complexity and difference in our experiences, and it is so refreshing to see people coming together despite and also *because* of our positionality and difference to help each other out.
I am in a lesbian relationship, partnered to a MtF woman, but I have learned so much from other couples in relationships with FtMs, or straight identified couples on here. The wealth of experiences, and the ammount of thinking and care people put into their responses in this group are priceless.
So I just wanted to send a warm ammount of hugs around the group.
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Tiff
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Actually, I am in the same exact position except it is reversed.
I am straight (as is my partner) and he recently begun to come out as a male to female. This is my situation...
I've only been out for a few years as a lesbian I am straight and coming to terms with the fact that I may as well go back to being considered straight become a lesbian is seriously irking me. It sounds selfish to say that I want eveyone to know that my partner is actually female male but that would be just one of the internal things I am struggling with. I have always said that I wanted to be there for my partner no matter what, no matter his gender but I am letting insecurities get in the way of that support
Unfortunately I don't know what to say to help you, since I am in the same dilemma, but sometimes it is just nice to know that you're not the only one going through a specific problem.
Reply
My partner is an androgynous bio male who wears girl clothes on the weekends, etc. I am pretty much only into guys (I ID as gay), but I love him and we make it work -- mostly, I think, because he doesn't really ID as a woman or want to transition. If he did, it might be more tough for me.
I am an FTM myself, to muddy the waters a bit. :)
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