New Here

[belovdmonster]

Hello, I am Sara and I am a 23 year old female.  I identify as mostly straight.  I recently started dating a guy and we fell for each other very quickly.  We haven't known each other, but feel incredibly connected.  Recently he told me that part of the reason his last relationship didn't work was because he was starting to realize that he couldn't

Comments

[aki_no_kaze]

few things... one does not need surgery, genital or otherwise, to "fully transition". As for what "fully transition" means, only your partner can say.

next... you can't really talk a person out of being trans. You can get them to bury it, ignore it, fight it... but it will always be there. The best description I have seen for what it feels like is to have sand in your shoe... you can just stop walking for a bit and dump out the sand... or try to ignore it and end up with tones of bloody blisters all over your feet.

It is not all doom and gloom, I do know some couples who where either hetero or homosexual before the transition and remained together afterwards. Some do, some don't, that doesn't mean you should give up before giving it a shot.

[sirensfall]

I know i can't and that is why it makes me feel like a horrible person because i want to. Thank you for your comment.

[aki_no_kaze]

it hardly makes you a horrible person. People go through different stages of acceptance at different rates and in different order. Sounds like you are in bargaining at the moment, but that doesn't mean you will not be able to reach true acceptance in the future.

[mathochist]

All I can advise is to give yourself time.
You're dealing with a lot of the same feelings that other partners have.
Some relationships make it through just fine.
Other people find they can't stay in a romantic relationship.
But right now, you're only just starting to process this information.
Give yourself time and see how it feels as you go along.

[rinkori]

I'm not trying to browbeat you or anything, but a couple of lines in your post stick out to me: He is not attracted to men, only to women (so much so that he wants to look like them) and i can't see him as female at all. He enjoys sex with women. Gender identity doesn't correlate at all with the types of people to whom you're attracted. Your partner's sexual orientation operates completely independently of their gender identity

[ftmichael]

Seconded fully. Go to http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Trans_101 and read - don't skim, read, even if that means you have to leave it and come back to it multiple times. When it tells you to take out paper and pencil, actually do it, even if you think it's too basic for you. It's tremendously helpful.

[imago_01]

I'm not sure if your "pain and hardship of living..." comment referred to you or your partner-- to me it sounded like it referred to your partner

[peckii]

It is o.k. to break up with someone because you do not want to date/are not attracted to someone of X sex.
You do not need to feel guilty.
You strike me as very young - and the relationship very new.
There are many people in the world who are likely 'perfect' for you.
I don't think you have to break up by any means - but know that it will be a lot of work to stay.

[sirensfall]

I strike you as young? I am curious why you say that. And yes, the relationship is very new. So, i guess it is possible that we won't even work out aside from this. We are very much in the euphoric, beginning stages of love.

[peckii]

Hey