Just for you guys. Totally worth watching all the way through.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gnl2rPx9s0c#t=30s

I kicked a power plug at work. Not out of anger or anything, just walking and I didn't see it. It punched a huge hole in my big toe. I was surprised to discover I'm made of paper maché filled with jelly. It got a little infected but I cleaned it out and put on a new layer of paper and it's good as new except my shoe doesn't fit anymore.

God I'm

There was a long story, and then a water spill, and it was right onto this pile of art, including that elephant and the hobo petting a cockroach and the two bodies combined and the skateboard that tina made and everything that I did in my figure drawing class. I dealt with that until 2am last night. And was really fuckin angry. This morning I drank ( Read more... )

Your medicine made me sick ( Read more... )

Today, while waiting for my alarm to go off, I found out that I can have a dry orgasm, on command.

Just thought you all should know.

I'm not sure I could teach you.

Haikus for the Hooker Walking Past My Work

you have eyes like diamonds
hard, small
the product of pressure and time

you have a heart like gold
heavy
for sale

you have skin like ivory
illegal goods
whose cost can not be reflected in its price

my back aches from bearing boxes
your box from bearing backs
I bet you get commission

There was this postsecret that said, "My courage might be fake, but at least I'm stickin' around."

That's silly though. Fake courage is the realest kind.

Banker Song (Miss Green ( Read more... )

It's 2:45 on a Saturday night ( Read more... )

This was written by the Editor in Chief of the 2011 American River review.

Yeah.