unwound:
goodbye to all the ones
who left you to yourself
to be invisible
and seem impossible
dont wanna know
dont want to know
leave it to yourself
to find it somewhere else
safe outside of time
martyr of a kind
they asked me why you died
i knew the reason why
instead i gave a lie
just came to say goodbye
dont wanna know

im forcing myself not to show any emotions right now and its actually working. i have managed to block out all negative thoughts. lets see how long this lasts.
i saw the most beautiful boy in the grocery store tonight, his name tag said, blair, front end manager. its good to see beauty in grocery stores.

i am so sick, i will never eat chinese food again, i have been puking since 2 in the morning. i forgot how much it sucks to vomit, its been that long. at this rate i will probably have lost 10 pounds by the end of the day.

i had an incredibly vivid dream last night about clay, and it was so much like real life, that it wrecked my whole day and i have been on the verge of tears all day. i am still hurting so much, i wish i could just get over it. it still hurts so bad. so bad. i cant even explain it. shit. please go away, pleasepleasepleasepleasse.

i prefer the drunk me over the sober me.

happy birthday

tonight at the movie theater my feet were smelling so bad that the person sitting next to me was plugging their nose during the whole movie. i am soooo fucking cool.

just saw the texas chainsaw massacre, i dont wanna say i was disappointed, but...i was disappointed. my dog knocked over some flowers of my roommates, she is now packing her shit. people are absolutely amazing. they really are.

after my last vacation with my mom, i swore to myself that i would never go on a vacation with her again. and now im going to florida with her for two weeks in december. at least ill get to hang out with my brother.

i spend my days killing animals and my nights home alone.