Well you can only get your money back in the form of vouchers. These will be redeemable in exchange for any unwanted (Or excess) limbs that you deem fit to wear on any social occasions. As limbs are the must have fashion accesory this season...
Swelling Breasts
anonymous
March 9 2005, 04:18:44 UTC
My gran told me, in my sleep, my oh-so-disturbed sleep, that her breasts have swollen since she's been in the afterlife. She directly blames yourself. The afterlife now consists of 97% of my gran's breasts. I hope this makes you happy. It certainly made me happy. In my pants.
'Breast Swellage' is a comment occurrence in the afterlife, especially from those that were disappointed with their 'Mams' whilst still living. Once dead however, they are able to inflate their breasts to a desired size. And so it is not MY problem that your grandmother has taken it upon herself to turn the whole of the afterlife into some Soho-based tittery experience, as she clearly has no self control over the direction of her own saggy bosom baggage.
I would be less upset if my gran hadn't tried to stuff her 3rd mammary down my mouth when I was five. I imagine it swelling in my mouth, because often my mouth tastes like the afterlife, a fizzing corpse-fest of red cabbage and the like. It's bad enough to be abused with a breast, but in the afterlife, if you have to live on and within and next to a breast, and then die for a second or third etc time via a gobful of tittery: that's euthanasia.
What I'm saying here is that more people should be suffocated with their own stinking, moth-eaten tits. Puny or gargantuan, get out the tits and get breastorising.
much love, Sargeant Cumbarrel, tiny breasts, massive cock, just like a REAL man. Why, if you tried to suffocate me with my boobs, I'd actually end up getting a higher dose of oxygen, they're that minute.
Nibble On Nipple Nectarpauly_gpMay 24 2005, 04:22:54 UTC
Mass 'Mam' based suffocation was in fact a plan thought up by the Nazis in order to deal with the growing 'Jewish problem'. Although, the plan never fully came into fruition as it was believed by the Nazis that Jewish women would burn their breasts in protest and then use the charred boobery remains as incendiary devices, that when detonated, would release several sharpened niplets to impale anyone within the surrounding area
( ... )
I consulted Cupid about this and he told me he is most disturbed and does not approve at all. Poor thing. So I stuffed him a duffel bag and left him on platform 9 at Kings Cross. Hope that was OK. I'm also making my own greetings cards now.
Roses are red Cadaver's are blue You left me out of your will So rot in Hell you lying cheating bastard
Suzie N' The Bansheespauly_gpMay 14 2005, 06:47:05 UTC
I'm pleased to hear that you've taken an active interest in spreading the 'Lamentines Day' message.
I have also developed a few prototype greetings cards myself. One of them is an audio greeting card, that when opened emits a high pitched banshees wail. This then causes the recipients head to implode as their ears begin to fill up with wax in order to block out the un-earthly sound.
I think that such a card would say all that needs to be said when expressing your true feelings to that special 'lamentine' of yours.
Dipping famous celebrities into vats of wax is just another method of 'Beautification' that I can fully endorse. As the waxing process would remove ALL unsightly hair from their body, thus leaving them as smooth as a babies behind.
When the C-Lebs have finished their 'waxing' threatment, the press then label them all as paedophiles as they would be accused of taking the treatment in order to recreate the sensation of touching up a 'minor'. Therefore causing havoc within the judicial system leading to the reinstatement of the death penalty for these so called paedos.
And that's the point of the process where I come, as I would be required to administer their punishment...
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What I'm saying here is that more people should be suffocated with their own stinking, moth-eaten tits. Puny or gargantuan, get out the tits and get breastorising.
much love,
Sargeant Cumbarrel, tiny breasts, massive cock, just like a REAL man. Why, if you tried to suffocate me with my boobs, I'd actually end up getting a higher dose of oxygen, they're that minute.
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Roses are red
Cadaver's are blue
You left me out of your will
So rot in Hell you lying cheating bastard
It's a work in progress...
Reply
I have also developed a few prototype greetings cards myself. One of them is an audio greeting card, that when opened emits a high pitched banshees wail. This then causes the recipients head to implode as their ears begin to fill up with wax in order to block out the un-earthly sound.
I think that such a card would say all that needs to be said when expressing your true feelings to that special 'lamentine' of yours.
Reply
*plots to dip Paris Hilton in a vat of wax*
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When the C-Lebs have finished their 'waxing' threatment, the press then label them all as paedophiles as they would be accused of taking the treatment in order to recreate the sensation of touching up a 'minor'. Therefore causing havoc within the judicial system leading to the reinstatement of the death penalty for these so called paedos.
And that's the point of the process where I come, as I would be required to administer their punishment...
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