Euth-full Corpses

[pauly_gp]

Welcome everyone, to my Euthanasia Experience!

If you're looking to 'go in peace', then you can reply to this message and I'll get back to you. (I may not be able to help all of you, so I suggest you help yourselves if I'm busy. Though, I will be posting regular lists of termination techniques for you to try out...)

I thought I'd share with you (

Comments

[anonymous]

I had a pet lemming and it killed itself. I had only just bought it from the pet shop and it wasn't even past it's sell by date. I'm thinking of buying another one and I would like your advice on how to keep it alive so I can develop a meaningful relationship with it.

Sturdy Stiffs

[pauly_gp]

Well Mr Anonymous.

The only meaningful relationships that I ever have, are with my clients (That is, after they have succumb to 'treatment'). Unfortunately, this type of relationship is frowned upon by the law and so I have to satisfy my desires with various types of roadkill that I err, find...

I would recommend taxidermy if you are actually going to go through with this practice. This is because rigormourtis isn't always reliable in assuring that your chosen one remains stiff throughout the ordeal.

I hope this information can provide you with some comfort in trying to find yourself a 'life partner' in which to take pleasure out of.

Not termination at the moment...

[queen_of_zero]

Thanks for the link...Although in one's present condition, I'm only considering terminating ALL of MANkind for making me go through the hell of waiting for my baby to leave my poor, weak, withered body and live in the 'real world'.

Of course this is Pete's ultimate fault (hehheh) but as a hormonal woman I'm blaming you all. Scum.

Any advice on how to do it successfully without having to try too much?

Aborted Adults

[pauly_gp]

The only way to 'terminate' the whole of MANkind is too, firstly place them back inside their mothers womb.

I know this may sound like another form of incest to you, BUT, let me assure that my patients gained no sexual pleasure whatsoever when being shoved back up to their childhood home...

After this excruciating process of 'regurgitating' the birth child. The patient is then dissolved by various acids within the womb so that the mother can then rebirth their child into a pile of blood and brittle bone.

Let's hope that your birth will be a pleasant experience for all concerned.

Oh yes, I shall send you a free euthanasia voucher for your newly born sprog's baby shower, to do with as he/she pleases.

Reading Matter

[anonymous]

In times of need, and times of desparation, a lot of us need a helping hand...

So where better to branch out your expertise than around Britain's funeral homes and doctors waiting rooms! Perhaps in the form of a few leaflets and brochures scattered across the country?

Pauly GPs Prescriptions

[pauly_gp]

I do have a few select leaflets floating around the less desirable practices. Though I do tend to advertise my services by using a more effective medium. This would be through faulty prescriptions that I blackmail my cost cutting GP associates to hand out to people.

I'm sure you can imagine the look of surprise on the patients face when they wander into a chemist with said prescription in hand and then get bungled up into a container and sent to me. Even if all they needed were some ibuprofen tablets. (Though I certainly took the pain away in the end)

Having said that, I'm sure I'm doing the NHS a favour by keeping waiting lists minimal.