I forget about this journal. I should probably forget about Livejournal period, but some things are easier said than done ( Read more... )

I think I may cry myself to sleep tonight. I feel a pity party coming on. It's done. It was good. It's all this other shit that is thrown in the mix. Favorite words. Thumb wars. Singing me songs all the fucking time. All this other stupid fucking cute shit that makes it's so terrible. When I tell him that I want to kiss him and he asks me why I don ( Read more... )

1,268 reasons to change. As if I didn't already know. I am continuing to beat myself up, constantly. Hopefully in a really good way though. I can't even type correctly and keep fucking this entry up and having to backspace like 100 times. I'm sober. Over Nick. This is the best thing I can do for myself. I don't want to be with anyone this year. I ( Read more... )

I think my heart hurts. I have been listening to Daniel Johnston all night, sober, crying. I know my heart does hurt. Leave me alone, Love. Get out of my system. Let me be. I am happier alone.

Whatever was there is gone. And it's not like a sad, fleeting, i miss you, whatever. It's more like, I know we won't work out and as many things as I love about him, there are still so many things that irk me. I know my insecurities are hard to hide, but I think it bothers him too much. The other morning we played Mortal Kombat and laid in bed and ( Read more... )

Nice to meet reality again. I don't know what the hell I have been thinking these last few weeks. Sure it's nice to have someone to wake up to, and kiss and lay with. We can talk about spaceships or the fact that he used to like Pokemon and I still like him. This boy told me he cut his hair off because I liked it better shorter. The boy who is ( Read more... )

I know hindsight is always 20/20. I don't know what the hell we are doing but everyone knows and they must after last night. I feel so weird and I know nothing will come from this because it did not last time. I don't know. Maybe it's just the attention? Sometimes it is just nice to feel wanted and pretty and to have someone who wants to lay in bed ( Read more... )

Dear Secret Journal ( Read more... )

Okay, well the other night I stayed up with Boy A, talking about politics and the world and money and just things that either really make or break a person's view of another. And you know, I was just really disgusted by his answers. The truth is, he is someone I would despise if we had not already been friends (or sometimes more than) for so many ( Read more... )

Dear xxxxx ( Read more... )