Girl!HSAU

[paytofay]

I have no idea when this is set. But I did it:|!

Title: Staring at the Rude Girls
Pairing: Girl!Sulu/Girl!Chekov
Summary: Genderbent HSAU (sort of)--Hikaru is a motorcycle mechanic and general bad girl; Pavla is a new immigrant who goes to shows when her parents think she's at synagogue. They totally hit it off, then totally get it on.
Word Count:

Comments

[magickalmolly]

Wow. Just...seriously. Wow. That was amazing. I love bad-ass female!Hikaru (holy god, koi fish arm tattoo, how are you so sexy?), and seeing the teenage American scene through female!Pavel's perspective was really fascinating. I think you did an amazing job of capturing it!

Plus, well, who can resist well-written genderbending? I have a weakness for female!Hikaru (just ask rubynye), and you've created a really fantastic version of her. And Pavla...gah, I don't know if I want to be her or do her. Hello, internet - land of TMI!

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. I am definitely adding it to my list of bookmarks.

[paytofay]

thank you ;______; heh, I'm such a sucker for this lady!Sulu in my head that I had to get it out somehow! Ahh your fondness for the characters is really touching, thank you:)! These were lovely things for you to say<3!

[angelofcaffeine]

I really enjoyed this, but something confused me. You said it's Saturday and Pavla has to leave for Shabbat dinner, but Shabbat dinner is really what we have on Friday night. I think maybe you meant Shabbat lunch?

Also, I found it odd that she was supposed to be at work on Saturday daytime (which is Shabbat) - you said in the summary she lies and says she goes to shul. If her parents don't mind her working on Shabbat, why would she need to lie about the show? I guess it could make sense if she was origially lying about going to shul to go to work instead, but threw me off a bit.

Aside from that, I really enjoyed the fic. The characterisations were beautiful - I love the motorcycle, and the mentions of the other (genderbent!) characters. Your dialogue flows really well, and you have a way of describing things (like the wet glass) that work really well, and make the scene feel more real.

<3

[paytofay]

I'm so sorry about my various rookie mistakes, heh, my family's atheist and I only really have very casual knowledge of religion. It was really a lack of critical thinking about the timeline/plot on my part. Anyway thank you for pointing them out and I'm sorry it took you out of the fic<3 I've tried to fix them with a few alterations.

Thank you very much:) I really loved writing this and totally appreciate your comments!
<3!

[angelofcaffeine]

That's fine! It's easy to make mistakes in a religion you don't practice. I don't know what you've decided to change, but I suggest you make it Friday they meet for Jamie's band - her skipping work is fine (as Shabbat doesn't start until evening), and her running back to Shabbat dinner works. Also, the week before when they meet can also be a Friday night, meaning her parents think she's at shul for the Kabbalat Shabbat service.

(I TOTALLY NEVER PRETENDED TO GO TO THAT SERVICE, NO-SIR-EE.)

However, if you do make that change, make sure you specify she's at work on Sunday when Hikaru comes in.

Sorry about being nit-picky! <3

[paytofay]

Lol yeah, I actually asked my ortho friend for some details (though not specifying what it was for; awkwarddd) when I got your comment so! Anyway I'm glad you enjoyed the fic otherwise!

YOU. ARE. AMAZING! XD

[katmarajade]

Oh my goodness, I love this SO INCREDIBLY MUCH! It is like every good thing rolled into one glorious package! You would not even believe the amount of flailing and squeeing I did when I saw this was posted and all during reading this. Seriously. I read the whole thing with an enormous grin on my face and then immediately went back to the top and read it again

Re: YOU. ARE. AMAZING! XD

[paytofay]

Ahhhh I'm SO glad you like this:)! I was totally slacking off, but no kidding, when you mentioned your terrible no good schedule the other day, I totally got cracking. You've been so sweet and lovely in my experience with this fandom and I just wanted to return the favor, heh<3!

NGL, my conceptions of girl!Hikaru and girl!Pavel have gone through a ton of thought it my head and I TOTALLY have that butch/femme kink like you mentioned in your journal. girl!Pavel i usually written as this slip of a thing, but that just doesn't turn me on, lol. Hikaru is every girl I wished I was when I was a teenager ;___; stacks of records and coveting her lady ahhhhh. AND YES it was totally Gaila :x how much I ship her/scotty is almost ridiculous<3

Re: YOU. ARE. AMAZING! XD

[celemie]

I DITTO EVERYTHING IN THIS COMMENT!!!! IT SAYS EVERYTHING I WANT TO SAY PERFECTLY!!!!
THE COAT OVER THE HEAD IN THE RAIN!!!!! *ded*

LOVES!!!!

[paytofay]

D'aww, thank you:D! I really appreciate it, and Hikaru's bralessness in this was almost a fetish, hahah.

[lemonsherry]

Aaaaaaah, this is amazing. And hot. And perfect.

“Hikaru, I think I love you. This is very serious.”

And adorable.

[paytofay]

It wouldn't be our Chekov without embarassing love confessions ;____; lol

Thank you so much for the read, and the comment<3