Writing is the only way I'll be able to process these intense feelings. It's been a sorrowful day. It all started a month ago, when I worked up the courage to email Sam. I last spoke to him five years prior, via email. He made it clear at that time, without stating the obvious, that he didn't care to know me still. I was silent for all those years ( Read more... )

I miss writing in my online journal, and I lost my real-life journal. Here I am, with an inactive livejournal account, zero friends, no communities. This time, it's all for me, since no one else is here. The nice thing about having nothing but old entries is that a person with memory loss can really gain perspective on the life they once lived, and ( Read more... )

The thing that bothers me most about the people that don't believe my abuse stories, is that they have no idea how much I suffered and continue to suffer. I had to have surgery on my shoulder because my rotator cuff was stretched so much that my arm was chronically dislocating. He used to suspend me by my shoulders while dislocated. I remember the ( Read more... )

My songs are shared

There is a lot I could talk about that is on my mind right now. In lieu of being upset by things I cannot change, or exhausted by repeating stories of old pain, I am going to continue to do what brings me joy and light: talk about my daughter. I will also talk about trees ( Read more... )

Here I am in Alaska ( Read more... )

The first things I've
Seen as a married woman
: Mountains, snow-covered
treetops, frost and moss.
And the sun filtering
through the trees...
and the sun! The sun
blinding me.
Warming my heart.

I don't have anyone doing this with me, so I have to document this time of my life somehow. Sending it out into the void of electronic data is probably just as ephemeral as my memory, but here goes ( Read more... )

Journaling: my attempt at jump-starting my writing habit. "They want you to write" according to my Spiritualist friend. The spirits, my ancestors presumably, have got it right. Writing is the foundation upon which my entire sphere of self-understanding rests. Let's have another crack at making it a regular thing ( Read more... )

Every couple of years I find myself returning to the solace of online journaling. Whenever I find myself without inner guidance, I see what my wandering mind and fingers have to say. I've gone a good year and a half without spending time on the internet. As someone who once made their living typing their thoughts onto a screen, subsisting in a non- ( Read more... )