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[penkap]

i am a waste. i am a complete failure, a complete idiot, a complete nothing. Y did i not realize this sooner? The things that make me "perfect" R the things that make me vulnerable. There R many things that i no longer believe in. i should have realized that long ago. But instead, i forced myself 2 learn the same lessons over and over again

Comments

[lobotomyjunkie]

I have nothing more to say. I am sorry. I can't help it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and dont blame yourself, you'll be fine.

[penkap]

No. U DO NOT understand... i don't feel sorry 4 myself. This is my fate and i must accept it as such. U say i will B fine. "Fine" is a relative term. If things remain the way they R, the way they were meant 2 B, then things must B "fine". If things happen 2 somehow worsen or improve, then i/it am/is not "fine" because things will not B as they should B. And U say U can't help it...but that is untrue. U can help it.
Or maybe that is backwards. Maybe U have already done your part 2 interfere by making things "better" 4 a short time. And now, "life" is back 2 normal, back 2 the way it should and must B.

If U do care, do something about it. If U don't care, then stop pretending that U do.

[lobotomyjunkie]

"I'm sorry blame infatuation, blame imagination, I was sure you'd be the one, I was wrong since reality destroys our dreams, I wont forget you, blossom faded red inside a tiny book of old goodbyes..."

I am sorry. I love him... I cant help the way I feel, maybe things would have been different if we had met at another time

[penkap]

Again, U R wrong. Meeting at another time would make no difference. Honesty...would have made all the difference. This thing U call "love". i remember U using that term towards/about me. So shouldn't the opposite of what U claim also B true? Could U not help the "love" U claim 2 have felt 4 me? It makes sense. All the more reason Y this pathetic little excuse 4 a weakness that U call "love" is nothing more than a lie.