OMG, Batman, it's been nearly two years!

[pepithepirate]

So I've been pining for somewhere to write.  Went back to my OD, meh, not feeling it, and then have been trying to hack into this blasted thing for who-knows-how-long.  That's what I get for putting a Japanese word as my password, ha!  I haven't been online much, nothing like I used to be.  I have my reasons, too many memories, too many dug up

Comments

[thebigro]

Someone I used to care very deeply for once told me "Just don't worry about what other people say, even your parents. Let them live their lives as they see fit and live yours as you think it should be." I know, all too well, that you love your family more than anything else - but, at some point, you have to take a stand. It's not "in spite of loving them," it's because you love them, and you want them to respect you. The only one who can loose those shackles is you, yourself. You don't have to let them hold your happiness hostage forever.

[pepithepirate]

I know, but it's so hard to put into motion. And I know that it's me holding myself back, I do understand that. It's just I'm having such a hard time letting go. I just have this horrible guilt that I'm leaving my mom behind, to deal with "him" alone, and I can't help but try to be there for them. And I know things happen, people get cancer, accidents happen, etc., but when it seems like everyone's falling like dominos, and now even my dad is this weak, emotional shell of a person, I just don't know what to do. And I know it's up to me, and I've been doing much, much better, and that it's up to them to fix themselves, and up to me to move on. I just really don't know how. =\

I know that probably doesn't make a load of sense, and probably shows me to be still unbelievably pathetic, but I can't help but feel so guilty.

But on another note, I must say, it is very soothing to hear from you. I know I don't deserve to, but you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

[thebigro]

It does make sense. Not knowing what to do doesn't make you pathetic. So long as you're always at least looking for the answer, there's hope that you might find it. Sometimes, that's all you need to keep going.