Just in case anyone is wondering, I created a new journal, 'cause I was getting sick of this one lol ... the address is http://solitude1984.livejournal.com/ ... add me if you feel like it. =)

So it has been a really long while since I've posted ... I tried to cut myself off from all of the communities I had joined, and all of the friends I had made on ED websites ... I just wanted to forget everything ... I wanted to begin fresh ... things were going well for me for a while, but went downhill pretty quickly. Right now I'm bulimic, and ( Read more... )

So this will be my last post for a while ... I don't know when I'm going to come back ...maybe tomorrow ... maybe a week from now ... maybe a month from now ... maybe never ...all I know is that I have to distance myself from my eating disorder ... I feel really bad for doing this, but I think it is the only way I will completely recover. Writing ( Read more... )

So I got the results of my EKG back ... the report says: "arrhythmia - competing ectopic atrial rhythm" ... I dunno what the hell that means (I gotta say it doesn't sound too good) ... but I sure as hope I haven't permanently screwed something up ... :S

Other than that, the week has been really odd ... I really feel like I'm eating too much ... I ( Read more... )

My moods are so weird ... some days I'm so happy that I'm bouncing off of the freaking walls (i.e., I'm back to my "normal" self ... or how I was before I got depressed ... dunno if you can call that "normal" ...lol) ... other days (like today) I feel so down that I just want to hide under my covers all day.  I'm trying to stay positive though ...

( Read more... )

Here's my list of things in my life that I will never forget ... feel free to add yours ... I have added some pictures of my family and me ...

~ What it feels like to be blind
My 16th birthday present:  getting my vision back after several very difficult surgeries.

~ What it feels like to starve 
Anorexia Nervosa ... it has taken away so many years ( Read more... )

So there really isn't much to report right now ... we celebrated my dad's birthday today ... we had strawberry shortcake ... it was sooooooooo yummy!! Of course, my anxiety is quite high right now ... I keep thinking that I should go to the gym for at least 3 hours tomorrow, but I don't want to ... not for that long, at least. It's so tempting ( Read more... )

Well I had an absolutely AMAZING day today. I had my appointment with my psych in the morning ... it went really well ... I got my anxiety meds increased. It was funny because at one point she asked me what motivates me to keep going every day ... I told her that I want to go back to school in September. She remarked: "So in other words, you don't ( Read more... )

So today was really rough for me ... I was supposed to go volunteering, then go shopping with my sister, then go to the gym, and then go to group therapy. I didn't do any of those things. My anxiety was off the wall today ... I felt so sick ... short of breath, dizzy, nauseous ... gotta love it. I ended up staying in bed all day ... I'm ( Read more... )

Okay, this is the last time I'm going to post my stats on here since I'm very serious about recovery ...

Height: 5'5"
Weight: 94 lbs
BMI: 15.6

The last few days have been very difficult. When I'm in the bus/train/on the street, I see thin people ... when I turn on the TV, I see weight loss shows, commercials etc. Today I saw an anorexic girl in the ( Read more... )