PAST ( Read more... )

Tonight was a glimpse of what is to come for me. I realize that my parents have released me, and it was surprising to hear it. We laughed, together as equals, and it was something that almost felt pure. It is not as scary as I thought it would be, but at the same time, that security rings false in me. I know I am afraid, I always have been. ( Read more... )

Being pretty certain that one of my professors did not know what she was saying when she made an arrangement with me for my grade, after doing all the work, and calls about my ever pertinant debt that isn't really real, a screaming match, a bad audition that left me convinced I've learned nothing in this past year, a developing chest pain that ( Read more... )

dear world,
please stop judging me- i know i'm not perfect
sincerely,
carolyn

I rode a bicycle back to campus today, and it was the most serene experience. It's really getting to be fall (as I've always known it), and the cold air made my cheeks flush. I had forgotten how to brake and had to drag my feet everytime I crossed an intersection. A boy in a cameo jacket bolted past me as I awkwardly struggled to start and stop ( Read more... )

I made a new livejournal, but please don't expect it to be cool, or popular, or anything like that... but if you really want to add it im going to give you one chance. I'm just going to write more often, and more meaningless entries. But if you are looking to stalk me, this could be a good opportunity to get in my head... I called it - ( Read more... )

i survived the fourth of july!

Coming home to a place that serves as home simply because I have nowhere else to go is not something I look forward to, but school would lose its appeal if I stayed much longer. Besides, I need the southern california sun to burn away the horrible feelings that I dragged along with my four boxes, five suitcases, and some plastic trash bags. I ( Read more... )

So I've been working for a while on this seminar for girls on my campus. And tonight it happened, but everything felt off. It was sad. It made me realize how sometimes when you follow your heart you end up on the outside of what is acceptable, popular, or even "christian." I'm sick of trying to meet everyone elses' standards, not that i really ( Read more... )

ow ow ow