whoa never before have I been so addicted to my livejournal but in these times Its just so great to spill my guts to some avenue. I would really like to have this conversation with someone but I think I've burdened most people too much with my situation. Its crazy how everything I come across seem to relate to my situation. like plato said, love ( Read more... )

so this weekend was in a word interesting. I thought it would be like any other weekend but it wasn't. Friday was probably one of the strangest days I've experienced in quite some time. I don't really feel like going into details but what I can say is that I had a lot on my heart and mind and I felt like everything just sort of pour out of me. ( Read more... )

This is our last goodbye. Everyday leaves me more confused, I hate to feel the love between us die. Is it really over? Just hear this and then I'll go. You gave me more to live for, more than you'll ever know. I had my hands in my pocket and my head in a could. No surprise I didn't see what was before my very own eyes. you caught me off guard, I ( Read more... )

couldn't put how i'm feeling into words but I think this will get it across just fine ( Read more... )

It just became so painfully clear that I have lost alyssa. Watching her sitting there manning the phone in anticipation of another man's phone call was almost enough to make me kill myself. Who the fuck does he think he is to get pissed at her. Is this the kind of relationship she wanted? where the guy was domineering, I mean c'mon how can someone ( Read more... )

Alyssa is in a relationship? I guess its true what they say you don't know what you've got until its gone. I just never thought that Alyssa would be one of those thing. I know I fucked up but its so hard to believe that she broke up with me about this. I guess the hardest part to deal with is that what I did was so long ago, it barely registers in ( Read more... )

Today is my sister's 26th, how amazing is that shit. I thought for sure we would have killed each other before either of us reached puberty. I didn't call her, and I have no remorse. The situation with my sister is rather complicated, but that truth of the matter is I wish her the best of luck in life, however I find that we share very little ( Read more... )

Another birthday is here, damn I'm getting old. I think my grays are slowly taking up a greater percentage of my hair then I'm comfortable with. Oh well until Alyssa starts complaining about it I don't think I have anything to worry about. I didn't get a phone call from my dad or presents. I don't really care so much about the presents but I ( Read more... )

So I just got my Tux for formal and I'm super excited. I feel like Alyssa and I are really getting along really well. It's weird I never knew that a relationship could be so stress free. It doesn't hurt that we have amazing chemistry. I think I'm still suffering from some serious commitment issues though. For some reason I find it hard to take the ( Read more... )

So it ever o.k. to cheat? the answer is hell no. I fucked up again today but this time I don't know if I can be as forth right as before. Alyssa and I are just not patching up the mess from my last big blunder and I feel like telling here what happened would not help anyone. I'm not quite sure where we're going but I want us to get there together ( Read more... )