Comments | personaminor: When unfamiliar flavors arrive the buds will be ready

personaminor

When unfamiliar flavors arrive the buds will be ready

Jun 08, 2006 13:48

It's awakening one morning to find myself buried. How long has this been going on? For some reason I have difficulty recognizing the spade I used to dig the hole, and the ease and relative comfort with which I can undig it onto myself ( Read more... )

Comments 15

apostate_96 June 8 2006, 21:17:39 UTC

Actually, I've found it's generally not worth worrying how deeply buried I am at any given moment or not. It is amazing, though, how those new connections can sprout out of conditions that had appeared previously not just infertile but almost actively toxic.

I'm glad you get the idea of growing up in your own time. It's one of the things I've had to get next to over the last several years, that I haven't progressed as fast as my peers in some ways. Especially as I've surpassed them in others.

personaminor June 8 2006, 21:21:25 UTC

My 5-year reunion was a really weird, eye-opening experience. Lots of love in the room, and kids, and wives and careers.
I have empty hands. Empty, wonderful, loving, fun, young hands.

apostate_96 June 8 2006, 21:24:26 UTC

5-year reunion???

My 20-year is coming up for high school next year, and I"m not sure if I'd want to go or not. Most of the people I care about from back then I'm still in touch with....and it would be odd to see the changes a couple decades have wrought.

As for the hands, the Tao teaches us that it's the empty space that makes a bowl so worthwhile.

personaminor June 8 2006, 21:30:31 UTC

Did I say 5. Crap, it's a tiring day. I meant the 10-year. My 15 is in a year-and-a-half.
And that's kind of what I was getting at with the idea that my empty hands were still young. I remember talking to my friend Marlon outside the reunion, and thinking to myself how old he seemed. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. It was wild. I was quite grateful at the time.
I've tried to lead a simple life, and chiropractic school might not be the easiest way to keep it simple, but it'll be worthwhile nonetheless.
I recommend the reunion. I'm so glad I went to our 10. Two of the most popular members of our class had died since graduation, and getting together with everyone helped to focus and streamline what was left of my grief. And it's always great to reminisce over why you loved someone to being with.

Thread 9

donkey_hokey June 9 2006, 15:17:43 UTC

This is beautiful. In many ways it reflects what I'm going through with these first few weeks of Reiki and rediscovering who and what I am, instead of what I thought I've been for all these years.

personaminor June 9 2006, 15:23:20 UTC

I recently reconnected with some good friends in the program, and I've had the chance to spend much time with them lately. I'm awfully glad to have people that I like and can relate to around me. Lewisville has been a nice place to live so far, and it's really close to work, but it gets damn lonely sometimes. I have a very good friend near my place, and his wife and two kids are awesome, but it's simply not all of the social interaction I need. So this reconnection (and meeting a girl that I haven't written about yet) is doing wonders for my psyche. One of the people in the group is also my new sponsor, and I couldn't be happier. For some reason I can't help but be open and honest with this guy. Good stuff all.

awfully glad to have people that I like and can relate to around me. adjust_56 June 14 2006, 22:02:40 UTC

the universe always provides those beings that can help us....we just sometimes have to find them ...

grasp the first hand that comes along and squeezes back. adjust_56 June 14 2006, 22:01:41 UTC

there is always a hand....we just have to hold it without any judgements about how, who, why and when....or about their persoanlity or idiosincrisies....life in it's generousity allows us to bury ourselves and then when we are ready to pull out, gently and slowly, harsh and rough it's up to us how we choose to play it

Re: grasp the first hand that comes along and squeezes back. personaminor June 14 2006, 22:40:43 UTC

And it is of ultimate importance to remove the judgments. I think that's been cause of vast unnecessary suffering for me. The good ol' You-don't-deserve-to-help-me syndrome. Some kind of angry pride.

Re: grasp the first hand that comes along and squeezes back. adjust_56 June 15 2006, 14:54:25 UTC

Absolutely......good you have that insight....