Well, it's been two years or so since I really used this journal. It is quite a trip to look at all my old entries, I was a chaotic conglomerate of emotions, now wasn't I? Well, I still am to a certain extent, the chaos never leaves the soul but you learn to function after a while. I'm not that girl who cried at the drop of a hat anymore, whose ( Read more... )

thought this might make someoen smile, especially fans of chobits.


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last post as a fifteen year old. um, woot? Yeah, my mom isn't even coming for my birthday, I'm so mad at myself, my aunt and uncle made my day so wonderful but now I'm on the edge of tears like a baby because this will be my first birthday without my mom tomorrow. SHE SHOULD BE HERE DAMN IT! God I hate her why do I care if she's here? She never ( Read more... )

I never did the whole who I am mini autobiography thingy in this journal so I'm postin some applications from communities I'm in on ujournal where I ramble on about myself ( Read more... )

OMG!! ITS SNOWING!!1 Is this normal in APril? I grew up in San Diego so I'm not used to snow, this is so wierd it was sunny this week then poof theres snow this morning. The insanity of it all!

I really wish I ditched my bio class today, we watched this movie on the Ebola epidemic that made me cry. It was like an hour and half and really graphic and I just couldn't handle all the dead people and mass graves and just the look of the empty eyes, it hurt me so bad. I don't know, I feel things deeper then some people for some reason, I'm ( Read more... )

The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis really has me thinking a lot. Reading the signs of sexual abuse, things I never thought would be related to what happened. Like how I gained 30 pounds this year since I remembered what happened. A lot of ppl do that to protect themselves to purposefully make themselves unnatractive so men won't ( Read more... )

So depressed, I don't want to move. I'm purging to try to cleanse my bad thoughts and just feel better, but I think I may have to bleed this one out. The recovery book I'm reading for sexual abuse is just really hard for me and is bringing up all these memories, but I have to face them someday so today is as good a day as any right? I just am ( Read more... )

Look, two new icons, theres the default one in the corner of Bucky from get fuzzy and this one of Chi from chobits. YAY! I didn't make them but found them in communities, I love them.

Bind me up in my own insecurities and leave me alone. I feel myself falling back to depression, I just don't want to be around people or get out of bed. I skipped my first two classes becuz I couldn't make myself get out of bed, I was too depressed and in so much fucking pain from my burn. It hurts all the time and the fucking nurse doesn't do ( Read more... )