LJ Idol- Week 1: "Trust Everyone, but Cut the Cards"

[peteyplane]

“Trust is...choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions

Comments

[murielle]

I'm glad to one of the first to comment on your entry because I love it so much.

Such a beautiful use of the prompt, such a haunting piece. Something in me awoke as I read. I hope you tell us more.

[peteyplane]

Thank you!! I was very worried the idea wouldn't work at all, so I'm so glad that somebody likes it c:

[muchtooarrogant]

I like the character you developed here, a person terrified of discovery, but unable to stop reaching out at the same time. Nicely done.

Dan

[peteyplane]

Thank you! I feel like if there's anything done fairly well in this piece, it's that emotional aspect. The writing isn't really up to what I'd hope, but I guess that's what happens when you run outta time.

[sinnamongirl]

Oh, this is so great! I love the way the hints spool out through the whole piece, and it has a nice progression and flow. Good job!

[peteyplane]

Thank you!! I was wondering if that would work or just make it seem really stupid >_> Good to know it worked for you, at least!

[eternal_ot]

I felt like reaching out to this person..and giving a tight hug. Best wishes <3 and Well written!

[peteyplane]

Me too, after I wrote it, actually, hahah. Thank you!

[halfshellvenus]

I couldn't tell if this was based in truth (you're Jewish?) or somewhat tongue-in-cheek (you're a werewolf?), or whether it's something else I haven't run into before.

People like me (or people I suspect are like me- as I said, no one’s ever admitted it)
There's such loneliness in this, and a sense of unfairness in that you're all suffering separately, and the that it's separate is one of the things that increases the suffering.

I want to yell Yes! Yes, I’m not the only one, talk to me about all the things we could never talk about to anyone else.
Whatever the truth is behind this, is is such a universal feeling, and so well-expressed here.

I liked this piece very much, and not fully knowing what was unerneath the words didn't change any part of that!

[peteyplane]

Hahaha I am neither Jewish nor a werewolf, actually. I guess I didn't make it too clear from the way it's written that this is definitely fiction, from a character's point of view. Thank you for your comments! I'm really glad you like it, and the specific feedback is extra nice to get.