Its days like this where I cannot reconcile myself now with who I used to be. I miss that girl, she made too many wrong choices, I feel.

I keep thinking about you. In my dreams, you are angry at me and sullen.
I just want you to exist again.

I'm slip-sliding away.

Usually i love being here

Still, I wish i had had more time at home.

Youre around every corner, but I can't find you here.

It is just too much for my head to wrap around.
I never wanted to you feel so sad.

don't want to stay, don't want to leave.

As always, I miss you so much my head spins and my stomach hurts.

whywhywhywhy?

i hate questions that have no answers.

I am so ashamed of myself and the things I have been doing recently.

Still too spineless to do anything about it.

I am fairly certain that my heart is gone too, except for when I think of you.
Then it is all too present in feeling, but far too distant to control or rationalize with.

I miss you so so much. I always have.

So apparently, this is just like hanging out with your friends that you trust and spewing your guts about the world, while they listen and eventually insert advice or insight that may or may not be useful ( Read more... )

i keep waiting to wake up, 16 and in love.

look at love ( Read more... )

I would love to kiss you.
The price of kissing is your life.
Now my loving is running toward my life shouting,
What a bargain, let's buy it.
--rumi.

An old note on a coffee filter that I thought i'd thrown away, haphazardly peeking out between my clothes from school in the morning ( Read more... )

If i had the courage to write to everyone exactly what I am thinking, it would probably come out in a stream of conciousness somewhat relating to this ( Read more... )