Obviously LiveJournal has fallen by the wayside for me, but I had the urge to start posting again. Sadly, LJ didn't seem to give me the options I wanted, so I'm moving things over to Blogger. For those zero readers of my LJ posts, please go to my new blog, "Putting LA in Granola". Hope to see you there.


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Kevin Smith
Your film will be 49% romantic, 42% comedy, 33% complex plot, and a $ 35 million budget. Kevin will take your slacker life and turn it into the cult classic it deserves to be --- like Mallrats (just kidding). If you can handle the menacing presence of Jay and Silent Bob all throughout your film, then Kevin is willing to oblige. ( Read more... )

One of my pet peeves is when I call people, and they put on their 2 or 3-year old child on the phone because they want to say "hello" too, and talk on the phone like grownups. Despite my protests, the receiver is usually handed to the little devils. I try to be polite, withholding my desires to scream maniacally into the phone to get their ( Read more... )

The poor are entertaining to listen to. Yes, I'm poor too, but that's hardly the point. I was on the bus the other day (the beginning of every good story), and I was privileged to listen to some mindless babble from fellow passengers during a brief moment my ears weren't plugged in to an iPod. A group of women in their late-40''s, early-50's ( Read more... )

Enough absence on LJ. I think it's time I threw something in it for sh*ts and giggles ( Read more... )

Sure, Mr. Governor. Of course it's an injury from your motorcycle accident... Not that nasty herpes you got from a seedy blonde you picked up on San Vicente Blvd. His eye brows reminded me: I need to pluck mine.


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Call the Interpol! The cinnamon bun that has an alleged likeness to Mother Teresa was stolen from a coffee shop in Nashville. I wonder if the thief ate it, and how it tasted. I'm sure it didn't taste yummy, seeing as though it was baked back in 1996.


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This is the most functional bedside table I've seen yet:


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Some domestic animals have it all so easy. Eat, sleep, and play are all that concerns them, and they are free of the troubles that human beings-consciously or otherwise- surround themselves with. For myself, being reincarnated as a pet in a reasonable, well-to-do household will be equivalent to reaching the state of nirvana ( Read more... )

Since I haven't seen anybody I know mention this yet, here it goes.

Point your browser to Google, and type in "failure." Instead of clicking on "Google Search," click on "I'm Feeling Lucky." Prepare to laugh out loud.