school started and for some reason i'm counting the days until the first snow fall. not christmas, not break even, just snow on the ground. a fine powder, one that crunches satisfyingly under your feet, dusting the ground all soft like. throw in a winter jacket and a cup of too hot coffee, a carefully brushed-off step to perch on. someone to laugh ( Read more... )

my grandmother is dying, my uncle is dying, my father has no job and no real prospects, my brother is leaving for college in 4 days, and my mother borke both her arms and can't so much as stand up without a massive amount of help (from me).

and i broke a mirror.

someone, tell me i'll end up alright?

i want to find that perfect pair of eyes you know them maybe you have a set the ones that burn your skin and feel like drowning the ones that you have to look away from sometimes because its like fuck too much sensory overload but it feels good like you're losing control and falling and crying maybe but only in the best way ( Read more... )

so harvard summer school isnt so bad. i mean my classes are pretty okay. the problem is that i'm a commuter and everyone else boards. since they all live together / near eachother that means everyone else bonds outside of class and i dont. sucks.

i hate that feeling. you know, of being on the outside.

oh well. what can you do.

so today, or maybe yesterday, i cant remember, my friend left for palestine. thats where she grew up and shes always spent summers there but i'm so worried that she'll get hurt or detained or something. i truly hope she (not to mention the rest of her family) will be alright ... but things have been so bad there lately..

you get that feeling sometimes that burning that hot that cold in your throat in your brain those shivers that wrack your body that surety something something somethings gonna happen and its not gonna be pretty or maybe nothing will happen and thats worse and your throat its like burning up without any heat its collapsing and you can feel that ( Read more... )

ummmmmmm hate feeling not in control. but it happens.

tomorrows my first day of class [for those of you know dont know, i'm taking two courses at harvard summer school ( Read more... )

every night, i tremble in anticipation at what may be. humid summer days and cool summer nights offer such possibilities. i dream of meeting my destiny, of breaking the rules, of living carefree, with no regrets, no shyness ( Read more... )

( so my brother graduated on monday... )