Fallen Angel -- Chapters 13 & 14 (final Chapter)
Title: Fallen Angel
Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Rating: NC-17 (for the sex)
Setting: alternate universe type of thing (wherein I would take a different road than Joss...because last I checked, I wasn't Joss....)
Disclaimer: If wishes came true, Angel and Wesley would live in my closet, and I would play with them mightily...but alas...they do not
Feedback: gladly accepted...and greatly appreciated (let's face it, I'm a slut for it)
Summary: Wesly makes an admission to Angel after sharing an erotic dream; Willow begins the spell to re-join the sisters...
*cross posted to AO3*
Click here for chapters 1 & 2
Click here for chapters 3 & 4
Click here for chapters 5 & 6
Click here for chapters 7 & 8
Click here for chapters 9 & 10
Click here for chapters 11 & 12"
Chapter 13
Wesley’s sleep was far from pleasant, with dark dreams that melded into memories that were not his own and merged with Angel’s own twisted dreams. When he woke, the room was dark, save for the light from Anna and Anan. Willow was scribbling notes in the recliner near by. Buffy was nowhere to be seen.
For the briefest moments, Wesley panicked, thinking she was with Angel. His heart pounded against his ribs and he found himself listening for their voices. Angel was still asleep however, Wesley could sense him, alone beyond the bedroom wall. Slowly he sat up, rubbing at his face. He was more tired than when he had laid down. He exhaled slowly and Willow looked up from her notes.
“Buffy went for food.” Willow offered with a tentative smile. “No offense, but pretty much all that’s left in that fridge is pig’s blood.”
Wesley nodded. “Sorry, things have been a little…”
She nodded. “Yeah, I know. Are you feeling better?”
“Not particularly.” His stomach grumbled in delayed response to the thought of food. “How about you? Any progress?”
She nodded, her eyes sparkling, even in the dim light of the energy barrier. “I think so. This spell is intense. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve got the steps planned out. We’ll have to work fast, but I think we can do it.”
Wesley nodded again, feeling so much older than he had when Anna had first told him that Angel was back in town. “Good. Have you explained to Anna and Anan what your plan is?”
“Yes, Anan gave me some good pointers even.” She looked over at the three sisters, bound inside the magical barrier that Wesley could see was beginning to strain. “They’re exhausted. Naan has grown a great deal in her time apart from them.”
Wesley could sense something in her tone, a worry she hadn’t voiced. “Will the binding hold her?”
Willow breathed in deep and held it a moment before nodding slowly. “They will be bound, but a lot is dependent on Anan’s strength. She is, after all, a part of Naan. There is a chance that joining them will only make Naan stronger.”
Wesley shook his head and stood. “Then we shall hope that isn’t the case. I’m going to check on Angel.”
She nodded and turned back to her work. Wesley started for the bedroom, then changed his mind and headed for the kitchen to warm some blood for Angel. If Wesley was hungry, Angel had to be as well, and they would both need their strength for the coming ritual. Even a moment unbound from her sisters could make Naan fatal for one or both of them.
Angel was sleeping, sprawled out across the bed, when Wesley entered the room. It was obvious that he was dreaming, and while the noises he made were distressful, the very obvious erection indicated that the dream was fairly arousing as well. Wesley set the mug of blood on the dresser and crossed the room, sliding onto the bed and alongside Angel’s body. He closed his eyes and let his senses fill with the presence of his friend and lover. One hand rose to touch his arm, and that one touch was enough to transport him into Angel’s dream.
Wesley could feel the weight of his own body, the pain of a hundred wounds, the numb grief of the final witness to the death of everyone and everything he held dear…well, not everything. His heart would be racing if it had the strength to do more than languidly keep him alive. His back burned with the remnants of torture.
His captor needed no chains to keep him, there was no where he could go, there was no one left he needed, but the vampire who even now was abusing him…but was it abuse if it aroused him? There could be no denying the affect Angel’s fucking was having, Wesley didn’t control his body any more. Angel pounded into him from behind with great abandon and Wesley could feel his own cock hard and nearing orgasm.
The teeth pierced into his neck and Wesley came, wondering if this would be the last time. Angel had wounded him this time, he could feel it. He hung limp in Angel’s arms, his body spent…then he felt it, the hand, the wrist…pressed into his mouth…offering…
Wesley hesitated, breathing rapidly through his nose to keep down the panic. Angel’s mouth moved from his neck as his cock plunged back inside of him. “Wesley,” Angel growled in his ear and Wesley’s whole body moaned. “I want to come inside you.”
There was blood dripping from Angel’s wrist, coating Wesley’s lips. Slowly Wesley’s lips parted, his eyes closing. “I love you, Angel.” Wesley whispered, breathing out one final time before closing his mouth over the bleeding wound and swallowing rapidly. As the blood flowed into him, Angel came and they fell forward together. Wesley released Angel’s arm as he felt it beginning and relaxed into the darkness.
Wesley jumped as if burned, though Angel’s skin was cool. Angel’s eyes found his, but what he saw in them Wesley couldn’t be sure. How much had been false memory and how much had been dream influenced by desire he couldn’t be sure. The desire was real enough, as evidenced by the decided erection he had to shift uncomfortably to accommodate. He had often enough in the past dreamed of Angel taking him in a very similar fashion, though usually without the bit where Wesley let Angel turn him.
Angel shifted to take his hand, bringing it to his lips. They sat that way silently for a moment before Angel kissed it and looked up at Wesley. “I would never…not without…never, you know that, right?”
Wesley was shaking, though whether it was fear or desire wasn’t clear to him. “A part of me wanted that,” he whispered fiercely.
“A part of me still does.” Angel replied, his voice heavy. His eyes dropped to their joined hands. “A part of me always will. It-It frightens me.”
Wesley exhaled slowly in an attempt to hold his emotion at bay. “I trust you, Angel,” he whispered, “maybe more than I trust myself.” He moved so that he could lay his head on Angel’s chest.
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing.” Angel said, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Wesley managed a smile, but his thoughts were drawn over and over again to that feeling, the defeat, the despair…and all of it nothing compared to the physical pleasure, even as he surrendered the last of himself in exchange for it. “Naan tells me it is my destiny,” he ventured, turning at last to look at Angel.
“And we all know she’s a paragon of truth.” Angel played with Wesley’s hand, tickling the palm.
“I’ve thought about it before…a lot, actually. What it would be like to be with you…to be with you that way.” Wesley inhaled and let it out slowly. “She is right about one thing, it has always been my greatest fear…and yet, I would…I could…for you…” he closed his eyes against the admission. He had never meant to tell him…had never spoken it aloud.
When he opened his eyes again, Angel was crying. Wesley shook his head. “That wasn’t the response I’d expected,” he said.
“Wes…I-again, not good at this part…but, my god, Wes…” Angel sat up suddenly, dropping Wesley onto the bed, before pulling him to him and kissing him passionately. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“I rather like that part before…with the lips.” Wesley smiled, even as Angel kissed him again, their tongues wrestling around until Wesley had to break for air. “Yes, I like that part a lot.”
Wesley shifted so that he was sitting more or less beside Angel. In the shadows, Angel’s face held the illusion that it wasn’t hollowed out by starvation and for a moment he could see Angel as he had been. He smiled. Angel smiled. Then Wesley’s stomach gurgled. “Oh, right. I brought you some blood.” He slid off the bed and brought the mug to Angel who made a face. “Come now, it isn’t that bad.”
Angel took the offered mug and sniffed at it. “I know you’d rather have mine,” Wesley said, “but I’ll need my strength for what’s coming.”
“Food!” they heard Buffy call, followed by the closing of the front door.
Wesley bit back the sudden jealousy that Angel’s reaction to her voice brought to the surface. Angel must have seen it on his face though. “Wes, I-“
“No, Angel, its fine. I understand.”
“Do you?” Angel sipped at his cup, then set it aside, getting up off the bed to come to Wesley. “You forget that little thing where you can feel what I’m feeling? It works both ways, you know.”
Wesley quirked an eyebrow at him. Clearly he hadn’t really realized that.
“She and I will always have something between us, but we will never be what we were. She has her own life, and I have mine. I’m fortunate enough to have you in mine.” He kissed Wesley lightly. “Now go eat before your hunger drives me crazy.”
Wesley very much doubted that the paper sacks filled with fast food really counted as sustenance, but took his from Buffy and settled onto the couch to eat it. Willow passed food in to Anna and Anan, then joined him on the couch. Buffy sat on the floor near the front door. After a long moment, Angel emerged from the bedroom, one of Wesley’s shirts hanging from him and his cup of blood in his hands. He glanced nervously toward Naan, then to Wesley, before finding a spot in Wesley’s recliner.
Angel cradled the warm mug and sipped from it. He was hungry, but he could smell Wesley on his clothes, on the chair. It made the pig’s blood in his cup flat and uninviting. He had to get used to it again though. He had to stop sapping Wesley. He could feel Buffy’s eyes on him. He looked at her briefly. She had been crying. She smiled at him and he looked away.
He was still so weak. He hated the feeling. He hated knowing that he needed someone as much as he had come to need Wesley, how the fear drove him into the darkness, how just looking at Naan could undo him completely. He could feel her, even if he couldn’t see her. She wanted him to hate himself. She wanted him to feel the despair that came every time he realized he and Angelus were the same person and soul or no soul, that evil was a part of who he was.
And he did feel it. It came crawling over him in his sleep. It ambushed him when he opened his eyes. He felt it when he fed from Wesley. If not for Wesley, it might overwhelm him…sending him hurtling through the darkness to the place where oblivion was only a properly placed stake away.
Angel swallowed the rapidly cooling contents of his cup, trying to swallow the emotion with it. He felt Wesley looking at him and looked up. He managed a weak smile, then jumped as the door opened.
Fred and Gunn came in, bags overflowing with magical components in their arms. Willow’s face lit up and she set aside her burger in favor of helping Fred with her burden. “Great! We can get started as soon as everyone’s done eating.”
Willow set Gunn about moving furniture out of the way, and in front of the door, effectively locking them in, just in case Naan made an attempt to escape. Wesley and Buffy finished eating quickly, and cleared the remainder of the books and notes scattered around the living room.
“Okay, Gunn, I’m going to want you outside the circle, near the door. Your job is to keep anything that gets out of the circle from leaving the apartment.” Willow said as she started setting up the ritual space. “Angel, I want you outside the circle as well. You aren’t strong enough for this. Wesley, you’ll anchor the north. Since you’ve already worked with Anna and Anan, your job will be to ensure their safety, and keep Naan in the circle.”
She carefully set a faintly blue crystal on the carpet in the center of her circle, which she was setting with alternating candles and black crystals. Angel stepped backward, out of the range of the circle as she moved his way. He ended up standing in the bedroom doorway as the circle of candles and stones made its way nearly to the wall.
Angel watched as Buffy and Fred moved into place opposite one another and between Willow and Wesley. Already the air was crackling with magic. Willow began an incantation, her eyes going dark as one by one the candles and crystals came to life and an arc of light grew around the foursome. The arc grew as each candle lit, until the circle was complete. Then it grew upward until it formed a dome over the small group.
Angel couldn’t hear what Willow was saying anymore, but he watched as the circle began to expand toward where the three sisters waited inside their circle. In moments, the smaller circle was engulfed in the elliptical one Willow was making. He saw the smaller circle collapse, Anna and Anan sagging a little in relief. Wesley moved to stand behind the chair where Naan huddled. He took Anna’s hand in his right and Anan’s in his left.
Willow came toward them, mixing herbs in a bowl while speaking more words Angel couldn’t hear, then sprinkling the herbs around the women. Wesley’s mouth moved. He took up Willow’s chant while she returned to the crystal in the center and sprinkled more of the herbs around it. Then she returned, a vial of oil in her hand.
She rubbed oil onto Anna’s free hand, then onto Naan’s left hand, and lastly into Anan’s free hand. Wesley let go of the sisters. Willow repeated the anointing on the remaining hands of the sisters. Then she moved to their foreheads. She touched Anan’s first, and Angel watched as she sank to the floor. Then came Anna. She too collapsed to the floor. Last, Willow touched the oil to Naan’s head and spoke something forcibly. Naan didn’t collapse, but a burst of light sent Willow flying backwards.
Angel saw Naan start to rise, then saw Wesley’s hand moving. He tried screaming, but knew Wesley would never hear him. Angel lunged for the circle, but Wesley’s hand came down on Naan’s shoulder and Angel felt pain shoot through him. His knees buckled, his vision swam. He saw Wesley and Naan fall over backwards before the next wave of searing pain sent him sprawling to the floor unconscious.
Chapter Fourteen
Wesley stumbled backwards, his hand firmly clamped on Naan’s shoulder, despite the burning that started in his fingers and moved swiftly into his palm and was now moving up his forearm. He crashed to the floor with Naan, instinctively pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her.
Pain seared through him, every nerve ending in his body screaming in torment. He fought to keep his mind dark, blocked, but the voices filled his head…cries of pain, shouts of anguish, whimpering grief…the cacophony was deafening.
Naan struggled and he tried to strengthen his hold on her. He was losing control of his body as it began to spasm in response to the pain. Vaguely he could feel Willow. She was speaking to him. He couldn’t hear her over the shrieking in his head, noise that he was slowly coming to understand.
“Do what you came here for.” Wesley said, hoping his words were coherent and could be heard. “I can’t hold her for long.”
He didn’t know if Willow heard him, but he felt her leave him, and he was alone with Naan, along and falling into a lonely, terrifying darkness. The sensations of his physical body faded as he fell into what he could only believe was Naan’s mind. Beyond the discordant symphony that was slowly growing to include images and sensations of pain, he knew she was there with him, even if he couldn’t see her. The voices ebbed and flowed around him, making it difficult to think.
All around him the faces and mangled bodies of people dying pulsed, like movies that inflicted the wounds on the audience. “Naan.” He spoke her name to beckon her. Everything shifted around him and a howling image of a mother holding her dead child slammed into his stomach.
He doubled over, grabbing at his stomach, choking back a scream that would only add to the noise. He could see the signs of order that Anna and Anan must have been working to help Naan achieve, images and such segregated by type and location, but already it was beginning to fray. He hoped Willow worked fast.
Wesley navigated through the dark, each movement sending ripples around him. He tried to sort through the sensations pounding through him, finding one that he thought was his own physical body. It was a vague notion at best, that his arms were wrapped around Naan and that he was in pain.
“We have to make it stop.” Naan’s voice was soft, tiny compared to the screaming and howling around him, but it cut through it all. She was suddenly beside him, and in front of them both a chasm opened, descending hideous depths and rising above them beyond his ability to see. The images covered the walls, war, murder, illness and disease, grief, despair…and a foul wind blew from all directions, carrying it to them.
Wesley’s knees buckled, it was too much. He hurt in ways he couldn’t fathom. His stomach burned, his head felt as though it might implode from the pressure. If he paused to look at any one image its emotion overwhelmed him and he could feel the pain of wounds he had never suffered.
Beside him, Naan seemed small, still. Wesley turned his attention to her, away from the swirling images begging for his attention. He was surprised by the tears. Her face was drawn, her eyes sunken and hollow. She looked up at him with an expression that hovered somewhere between a plea for help and wild eyed terror.
“It hurts. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.” She lunged at Wesley, wrapping her arms around him. The pain doubled and together they tumbled dangerously close the edge.
“Make it stop,” she pleaded, her voice masked in tears and emotion. Wesley could see now that the chasm stretched out further than he could see. He knew it circled around them, though he wasn’t sure how he knew that. Naan lived here, on an island, surrounded by the suffering of the entire world. He couldn’t imagine…he’d been there only minutes and he was being torn apart…how could anyone expect a child to handle this? How could anyone handle this and not go mad?
Wesley stopped struggling against her embrace, letting his arms settle around her. After a long time, she lay still on top of him, letting him hold her. The noise was growing. Wesley was drained. He couldn’t feel his physical body at all anymore. All sense of time and place was fading. Just let go…so much easier…so tempting…
Wesley’s head fell to the side. There was something pulling on him, drawing him. He opened his eyes. Angel’s face greeted him. He couldn’t tell if it was his connection to the vampire, or the chasm showing him a pain more personal. Angel’s face was contorted in anguish, wet with tears.
He reached out a hand, almost imagining he could feel Angel’s cheek. The vampire’s eyes were dark. Despair wafted off of him, reaching through the haze of emotions that surrounded Wesley. “Angel.” Wesley whispered it, feeling his own fear ignite inside him. He had a job to do. He had to hold on. “Hurry Willow.”
Willow’s voice rose in pitch as she watched Wesley’s body convulse. It had shaken her, Naan’s reaction, flying across the circle and rising to find Wesley wrestling on the floor, clearly slipping away from them.
His words snapped her back into herself and she’d set to the next part of the spell with fervor. As the power grew, she turned her face to Buffy. “Get him to let go of her, move her beside Anan.”
They had already moved Anna and Anan to lie side by side. Anan’s eyes followed Willow as held the Philean’s crystal and moved into place. Buffy maneuvered Naan into place beside Anan. Willow met Anan’s eyes and nodded. Anan nodded in return.
Fred and Buffy took up positions beside Wesley. He was still twitching, but seemed to settle as Fred touched him. Willow turned her attention back to the crystal and resumed the words of the spell. She closed her eyes as a magic older than any she had ever tapped filled the air, swirling around her and infusing the crystal.
Even with her eyes closed, Willow could see the power growing, the light first from the crystal as the magic filled it, suspending it in the air, then from Anna, Anan and even Naan. Energy whipped through the circle and through her as she raised her hands. Her palms itched and burned as it came, raw, unbridled magic pouring through her and into the crystal.
The light was nearly unbearable , even with her eyes closed, yet it grew until she had to cover her eyes. A clap of thunder shook the room and three tendrils of white hot light shot out of the suspended crystal, and into each of the sisters, raising them vertical to hang inches from the ground.
Willow shouted the final words, squinting against the glare. The three glowing forms slammed together as a second clap of thunder rattled them. A brilliant flash followed, and like it was being sucked into a vacuum, the light withdrew into Anan. A final clap of thunder accompanied the last of the light, and Anan and the crystal were lowered onto the carpet.
Willow was breathing heavy. Anna and Naan were gone. Anan seemed unconscious, her red hair now streaked with gold and black. Wesley lay on the floor still and apparently unconscious as well. Fred and Buffy sat beside him, both stunned.
Willow took a tentative step toward the still softly glowing form of Anan. Her eyes opened and she sat up. One eye was now the soft blue-grey that Anna’s had been. The other so dark it was more black than blue. Willow knelt in front of her. “Are you…” she started, but she wasn’t certain how to finish the question.
“We are Annanaan,” she responded, the voice echoing as if all three had spoken at once. “We are one.”
Willow nodded and swallowed hard. “I think I was looking for Okay, but that will do.” Wesley groaned and Willow turned her attention to him.
“He is unwell.” Annanaan said, following Willow’s eyes.
Willow nodded and moved to kneel beside Wesley, reaching to test his pulse. He recoiled from her touch, curling into a near fetal position. Just as suddenly he straightened out and called out for Angel.
Buffy stood and looked to where the vampire had last stood. She couldn’t see him. She looked for Gunn who was trying to follow what was happening inside the mystical barrier. Gunn’s eyes tracked Buffy’s hand gestures. He couldn’t see Angel, but there was no way for him to get around the barrier to find him. Buffy waved him off and turned back to Willow.
“Willow, I need this thing down, now!”
Willow was torn between her duty to Wesley and the need to help Angel. Annanaan knelt beside her and reached for Wesley, but Willow put out her hand to stop her. “We would help.”
Willow bit her lip, then nodded, leaving Wesley to her touch while Willow moved to Buffy’s side, already pulling at the strings of magic that would dismantle the protective barrier.
As soon as it was down, she and Buffy burst over the line and into the bedroom. Angel squatted in the corner, his face averted, his hands hidden behind his knees. He shook, great, noiseless sobs wracking his body.
Buffy held up a hand to stop Willow and moved closer alone. “Angel, it’s going to be okay, its over.”
She came within arm’s reach and sank to her knees in front of him. Her words produced no response. She reached out to touch him and pulled back when his arm proved to be hot. She reached then for his face. It too was warmer than even the body temperature of a living being.
He lifted his face, the ridges of his vampire face drenched with tears. His eyes seemed alive with things she had never seen in Angel’s eyes before…terror, despair…it shook her.
Even more so when he moved enough that she could see his hands, trapped between his body and his knees. There was blood, a small wooden stake in his hands, it’s point already lodged in the skin of his chest. Instinctively, she reached for it and he jerked away. “Angel, give me the stake.”
“Have to end it,” he murmured. “Don’t want to hurt anymore.”
“That won’t end the pain.” Wesley’s voice was thick and he leaned heavily on Gunn as he limped into the room. He nodded at Buffy who moved out of the way. With a groan, Wesley dropped to the floor in front of Angel.
Angel’s crying deepened again, his head falling onto his knees. Each sob threatened to push the stake home into his chest. Wesley knew the others were watching, but was past caring about appearances or what they thought. He stretched out a hand and let it caress Angel’s head. “I’ve seen the pain, Angel, it’s face.” He let his fingers slide down to Angel’s chin, slowly cajoling him into lifting his head. “It’s terrible and hard and raw…but it isn’t yours to carry. It isn’t yours to end.”
Wesley’s fingers caressed Angel’s face, over the bumps, the lips. Touch seemed to reach through to Angel so much faster than words. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered fiercely so that only Angel could hear.
Angel’s eyes closed as Wesley kissed the raised ridges on his brow, then his cheeks, his fingers following to wipe away the tears. When Wesley pressed his lips against Angel’s, Angel sagged, his hands falling to his side, the stake rolling free. Wesley had no idea where his own pain ended and Angel’s began, or even if it wasn’t all the same. His flesh screamed as he moved, burning against the cool air of the room. He wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer before he passed out again, but he couldn’t leave Angel like this.
He knew what he needed to get Angel to come back to him. His eyes never left Angel’s as he turned his words to others in the room. “Willow, I need a knife.”
“What?”
“A knife, now please.”
Willow stumbled over her feet, but left the room and returned moments later with the requested implement, which Wesley took and sliced his arm in one motion. “Want?” he asked breathlessly, putting the wound near Angel’s mouth.
Buffy and Willow both jumped to stop him, but Wesley held up the hand with the knife. “No.” was all he said in warning.
Angel’s eye rose from the blood pooling on Wesley’s arm to Wesley’s eyes. “Stay with me Angel. I need you here.”
In slow motion, Angel bent his head, his mouth opening as Wesley repositioned his arm for comfort. He thought he might faint from the combined sensation, but he stuck to it, his free hand dropping the knife and stroking Angel’s hair and back as he fed. “That’s my good boy.”
Angel stopped drinking, his face changing back to that of a mortal man. He kissed Wesley then, and Wesley yielded beneath the touch, sinking to the floor until Wesley lay on his back with Angel beside him. Wesley broke the kiss for air, and felt the eyes of the others in the room. He was too tired to worry about their reactions. “I think I’m just going to pass out now,” he said, humor and exhaustion coloring his voice. Angel settled so that he was lying with his head on Wesley’s shoulder, seeming to fall asleep instantly. Wesley kissed his forehead and followed his example.
With the distinct impression that more than a few hours had passed, Wesley opened his eyes. The apartment was quiet. He was alone and in his bed. His wound from the knife had been bandaged and he was wearing a pair of flannel pajamas.
Angel was somewhere nearby. He was still fragile, but at the moment delighted. Wesley smiled and sat up. His head reeled a little and he knew the aches and fatigue would be with him for days. His feet found the floor and he foisted himself to them with a small effort. Every muscle held the memory of pain that no mortal man should ever have to endure…but endure he had.
He stepped out of the bedroom into the brightly lit living room, squinting against the light. “Hey sleepyhead.” Willow’s voice greeted. She beamed at him over her coffee cup from her place on the couch. “We didn’t think you’d ever wake up.”
“How long?”
“Three days.” Fred responded.
Wesley nodded. “How do you feel?”
“Like I was beaten to death by very large clubs, actually,” he said, rubbing at his face. He looked around the apartment. The two girls were the only people in evidence, but he could still feel Angel. He looked to the nursery door, slightly ajar. He thought he could hear Connor.
“Cordelia brought Connor over yesterday.” Willow said, getting up. “Angel and Connor have been playing ever since.” Willow handed him a cup of coffee. “Gunn has taken Annanaan to a place of sanctuary, where she can adjust.”
“What about Buffy?” Wesley settled into the chair, cradling the coffee and savoring its warmth.
“Buffy…went to see Faith, and then home to Sunnydale.” Willow said, making a face. “She was a little weirded out.”
“Weirded out?” Then Wesley remembered the kiss, the feeding. “Oh, that. Yes.” He sipped at his coffee. “She’ll just have to adjust.”
Willow smiled. “She will. Meanwhile, I’m on a plane out of here in a few hours. We got word from Giles. He’s alive and on his way to Sunnydale with more potential slayers. I’m going to Las Vegas to pick up two more. Fred’s going to give me a lift.”
“Least I can do.” Fred smiled and then hid behind her coffee cup.
“Dada!” Connor came flying out of the bedroom and jumped at Wesley, almost getting the full cup of coffee down his back before Wesley managed to set it aside.
He hugged the squirming little body. He hadn’t realized how much he missed him in the last few days. So much of his life had been wrapped around Angel’s son in the last year. “Dada’s happy to see you, Connor.”
“He’s been asking for you since he got here.” Angel said, appearing at the nursery door. “You had us worried.”
Wesley smiled. “I think I’m going to be okay.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Dada, is Ang staying?” Connor asked, touching Wesley’s face for attention.
“Well, we’ll have to work that out, won’t we. Would you like it if Angel stayed with us for a while?”
Connor nodded enthusiastically. “I like Ang.”
“I do to.” Wesley agreed, looking up at the smiling vampire. “I like him a lot.”
“I think that’s our cue, Fred.” Willow said, standing. “Things are gonna get mushy, and I have a plane to catch.” She crossed to Angel and wrapped her arms around him. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
“You too…and watch Buffy’s back.”
“I will.” Her hug for Wesley was less intense in deference to his pain. “You have a good thing here, Wesley. Take care of these two trouble makers.” She tousled Connor’s head. “This one’s going to be a handful.”
“Be careful…and if you need anything….”
“Only a phone call away. Same for you guys.” Willow shouldered her bag and gathered Fred with a wink. “Bye.”
As the door closed behind them, Angel and Wesley looked at one another. Angel was across the room and kissing Wesley before Wesley could even move to put Connor down. As the fervor passed and was replaced with something more tender, Wesley felt Connor’s hand on his face, then Connor was kissing them both where they’re faces came together. Wesley pulled back, laughing.
It felt warm, safe. Wesley put his free arm around Angel, as Angel’s arms shifted to help support Connor. For the first time in weeks, Wesley felt like he could relax. He held Connor and Angel to him and let his head fall onto Angel’s shoulder. “I like the way this feels,” he whispered.
“Me too.” Angel whispered back.
Connor yawned and Wesley echoed him. Angel took Connor and stepped back. “He’s been up for almost 24 hours, waiting to see you. I’ll put him down for a nap.” He kissed Wesley lightly.
“A nap sounds divine.” Wesley said, yawning again.
“Go lay down.” Angel said, turning away. “I’ll join you, when he’s asleep.”
Wesley smiled and padded into the bedroom. So much of their time had been spent here in this room lately. Stifling yet another yawn, Wesley crawled into bed, migrating toward what he had come to think of as his side. He dozed off almost instantly, falling into a whirl of dreams. When Angel slipped into bed beside him, he slipped just as easily into Wesley’s dreams. All the dark memories, true ones and false ones seemed far away for the moment as they held one another.
Later, as Wesley’s hand was caressing Angel’s back and Wesley’s cock was moving inside him, the tears came…unbidden, tears of relief, tears of a love he’d never thought would be realized. He came in a shuddering thrust, and collapsed beside Angel on the bed. It was Angel’s turn to hold him through the tears, kissing them away. As they drifted toward sleep, Angel whispered, “Thank you.”
Wesley didn’t need to ask to know it meant far more than simple thank you, he could feel it. Nor did he need to ask to know that Angel would be staying…more than a little while.
End...or something like one anyway....
Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Rating: NC-17 (for the sex)
Setting: alternate universe type of thing (wherein I would take a different road than Joss...because last I checked, I wasn't Joss....)
Disclaimer: If wishes came true, Angel and Wesley would live in my closet, and I would play with them mightily...but alas...they do not
Feedback: gladly accepted...and greatly appreciated (let's face it, I'm a slut for it)
Summary: Wesly makes an admission to Angel after sharing an erotic dream; Willow begins the spell to re-join the sisters...
*cross posted to AO3*
Click here for chapters 1 & 2
Click here for chapters 3 & 4
Click here for chapters 5 & 6
Click here for chapters 7 & 8
Click here for chapters 9 & 10
Click here for chapters 11 & 12"
Chapter 13
Wesley’s sleep was far from pleasant, with dark dreams that melded into memories that were not his own and merged with Angel’s own twisted dreams. When he woke, the room was dark, save for the light from Anna and Anan. Willow was scribbling notes in the recliner near by. Buffy was nowhere to be seen.
For the briefest moments, Wesley panicked, thinking she was with Angel. His heart pounded against his ribs and he found himself listening for their voices. Angel was still asleep however, Wesley could sense him, alone beyond the bedroom wall. Slowly he sat up, rubbing at his face. He was more tired than when he had laid down. He exhaled slowly and Willow looked up from her notes.
“Buffy went for food.” Willow offered with a tentative smile. “No offense, but pretty much all that’s left in that fridge is pig’s blood.”
Wesley nodded. “Sorry, things have been a little…”
She nodded. “Yeah, I know. Are you feeling better?”
“Not particularly.” His stomach grumbled in delayed response to the thought of food. “How about you? Any progress?”
She nodded, her eyes sparkling, even in the dim light of the energy barrier. “I think so. This spell is intense. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve got the steps planned out. We’ll have to work fast, but I think we can do it.”
Wesley nodded again, feeling so much older than he had when Anna had first told him that Angel was back in town. “Good. Have you explained to Anna and Anan what your plan is?”
“Yes, Anan gave me some good pointers even.” She looked over at the three sisters, bound inside the magical barrier that Wesley could see was beginning to strain. “They’re exhausted. Naan has grown a great deal in her time apart from them.”
Wesley could sense something in her tone, a worry she hadn’t voiced. “Will the binding hold her?”
Willow breathed in deep and held it a moment before nodding slowly. “They will be bound, but a lot is dependent on Anan’s strength. She is, after all, a part of Naan. There is a chance that joining them will only make Naan stronger.”
Wesley shook his head and stood. “Then we shall hope that isn’t the case. I’m going to check on Angel.”
She nodded and turned back to her work. Wesley started for the bedroom, then changed his mind and headed for the kitchen to warm some blood for Angel. If Wesley was hungry, Angel had to be as well, and they would both need their strength for the coming ritual. Even a moment unbound from her sisters could make Naan fatal for one or both of them.
Angel was sleeping, sprawled out across the bed, when Wesley entered the room. It was obvious that he was dreaming, and while the noises he made were distressful, the very obvious erection indicated that the dream was fairly arousing as well. Wesley set the mug of blood on the dresser and crossed the room, sliding onto the bed and alongside Angel’s body. He closed his eyes and let his senses fill with the presence of his friend and lover. One hand rose to touch his arm, and that one touch was enough to transport him into Angel’s dream.
Wesley could feel the weight of his own body, the pain of a hundred wounds, the numb grief of the final witness to the death of everyone and everything he held dear…well, not everything. His heart would be racing if it had the strength to do more than languidly keep him alive. His back burned with the remnants of torture.
His captor needed no chains to keep him, there was no where he could go, there was no one left he needed, but the vampire who even now was abusing him…but was it abuse if it aroused him? There could be no denying the affect Angel’s fucking was having, Wesley didn’t control his body any more. Angel pounded into him from behind with great abandon and Wesley could feel his own cock hard and nearing orgasm.
The teeth pierced into his neck and Wesley came, wondering if this would be the last time. Angel had wounded him this time, he could feel it. He hung limp in Angel’s arms, his body spent…then he felt it, the hand, the wrist…pressed into his mouth…offering…
Wesley hesitated, breathing rapidly through his nose to keep down the panic. Angel’s mouth moved from his neck as his cock plunged back inside of him. “Wesley,” Angel growled in his ear and Wesley’s whole body moaned. “I want to come inside you.”
There was blood dripping from Angel’s wrist, coating Wesley’s lips. Slowly Wesley’s lips parted, his eyes closing. “I love you, Angel.” Wesley whispered, breathing out one final time before closing his mouth over the bleeding wound and swallowing rapidly. As the blood flowed into him, Angel came and they fell forward together. Wesley released Angel’s arm as he felt it beginning and relaxed into the darkness.
Wesley jumped as if burned, though Angel’s skin was cool. Angel’s eyes found his, but what he saw in them Wesley couldn’t be sure. How much had been false memory and how much had been dream influenced by desire he couldn’t be sure. The desire was real enough, as evidenced by the decided erection he had to shift uncomfortably to accommodate. He had often enough in the past dreamed of Angel taking him in a very similar fashion, though usually without the bit where Wesley let Angel turn him.
Angel shifted to take his hand, bringing it to his lips. They sat that way silently for a moment before Angel kissed it and looked up at Wesley. “I would never…not without…never, you know that, right?”
Wesley was shaking, though whether it was fear or desire wasn’t clear to him. “A part of me wanted that,” he whispered fiercely.
“A part of me still does.” Angel replied, his voice heavy. His eyes dropped to their joined hands. “A part of me always will. It-It frightens me.”
Wesley exhaled slowly in an attempt to hold his emotion at bay. “I trust you, Angel,” he whispered, “maybe more than I trust myself.” He moved so that he could lay his head on Angel’s chest.
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing.” Angel said, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Wesley managed a smile, but his thoughts were drawn over and over again to that feeling, the defeat, the despair…and all of it nothing compared to the physical pleasure, even as he surrendered the last of himself in exchange for it. “Naan tells me it is my destiny,” he ventured, turning at last to look at Angel.
“And we all know she’s a paragon of truth.” Angel played with Wesley’s hand, tickling the palm.
“I’ve thought about it before…a lot, actually. What it would be like to be with you…to be with you that way.” Wesley inhaled and let it out slowly. “She is right about one thing, it has always been my greatest fear…and yet, I would…I could…for you…” he closed his eyes against the admission. He had never meant to tell him…had never spoken it aloud.
When he opened his eyes again, Angel was crying. Wesley shook his head. “That wasn’t the response I’d expected,” he said.
“Wes…I-again, not good at this part…but, my god, Wes…” Angel sat up suddenly, dropping Wesley onto the bed, before pulling him to him and kissing him passionately. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“I rather like that part before…with the lips.” Wesley smiled, even as Angel kissed him again, their tongues wrestling around until Wesley had to break for air. “Yes, I like that part a lot.”
Wesley shifted so that he was sitting more or less beside Angel. In the shadows, Angel’s face held the illusion that it wasn’t hollowed out by starvation and for a moment he could see Angel as he had been. He smiled. Angel smiled. Then Wesley’s stomach gurgled. “Oh, right. I brought you some blood.” He slid off the bed and brought the mug to Angel who made a face. “Come now, it isn’t that bad.”
Angel took the offered mug and sniffed at it. “I know you’d rather have mine,” Wesley said, “but I’ll need my strength for what’s coming.”
“Food!” they heard Buffy call, followed by the closing of the front door.
Wesley bit back the sudden jealousy that Angel’s reaction to her voice brought to the surface. Angel must have seen it on his face though. “Wes, I-“
“No, Angel, its fine. I understand.”
“Do you?” Angel sipped at his cup, then set it aside, getting up off the bed to come to Wesley. “You forget that little thing where you can feel what I’m feeling? It works both ways, you know.”
Wesley quirked an eyebrow at him. Clearly he hadn’t really realized that.
“She and I will always have something between us, but we will never be what we were. She has her own life, and I have mine. I’m fortunate enough to have you in mine.” He kissed Wesley lightly. “Now go eat before your hunger drives me crazy.”
Wesley very much doubted that the paper sacks filled with fast food really counted as sustenance, but took his from Buffy and settled onto the couch to eat it. Willow passed food in to Anna and Anan, then joined him on the couch. Buffy sat on the floor near the front door. After a long moment, Angel emerged from the bedroom, one of Wesley’s shirts hanging from him and his cup of blood in his hands. He glanced nervously toward Naan, then to Wesley, before finding a spot in Wesley’s recliner.
Angel cradled the warm mug and sipped from it. He was hungry, but he could smell Wesley on his clothes, on the chair. It made the pig’s blood in his cup flat and uninviting. He had to get used to it again though. He had to stop sapping Wesley. He could feel Buffy’s eyes on him. He looked at her briefly. She had been crying. She smiled at him and he looked away.
He was still so weak. He hated the feeling. He hated knowing that he needed someone as much as he had come to need Wesley, how the fear drove him into the darkness, how just looking at Naan could undo him completely. He could feel her, even if he couldn’t see her. She wanted him to hate himself. She wanted him to feel the despair that came every time he realized he and Angelus were the same person and soul or no soul, that evil was a part of who he was.
And he did feel it. It came crawling over him in his sleep. It ambushed him when he opened his eyes. He felt it when he fed from Wesley. If not for Wesley, it might overwhelm him…sending him hurtling through the darkness to the place where oblivion was only a properly placed stake away.
Angel swallowed the rapidly cooling contents of his cup, trying to swallow the emotion with it. He felt Wesley looking at him and looked up. He managed a weak smile, then jumped as the door opened.
Fred and Gunn came in, bags overflowing with magical components in their arms. Willow’s face lit up and she set aside her burger in favor of helping Fred with her burden. “Great! We can get started as soon as everyone’s done eating.”
Willow set Gunn about moving furniture out of the way, and in front of the door, effectively locking them in, just in case Naan made an attempt to escape. Wesley and Buffy finished eating quickly, and cleared the remainder of the books and notes scattered around the living room.
“Okay, Gunn, I’m going to want you outside the circle, near the door. Your job is to keep anything that gets out of the circle from leaving the apartment.” Willow said as she started setting up the ritual space. “Angel, I want you outside the circle as well. You aren’t strong enough for this. Wesley, you’ll anchor the north. Since you’ve already worked with Anna and Anan, your job will be to ensure their safety, and keep Naan in the circle.”
She carefully set a faintly blue crystal on the carpet in the center of her circle, which she was setting with alternating candles and black crystals. Angel stepped backward, out of the range of the circle as she moved his way. He ended up standing in the bedroom doorway as the circle of candles and stones made its way nearly to the wall.
Angel watched as Buffy and Fred moved into place opposite one another and between Willow and Wesley. Already the air was crackling with magic. Willow began an incantation, her eyes going dark as one by one the candles and crystals came to life and an arc of light grew around the foursome. The arc grew as each candle lit, until the circle was complete. Then it grew upward until it formed a dome over the small group.
Angel couldn’t hear what Willow was saying anymore, but he watched as the circle began to expand toward where the three sisters waited inside their circle. In moments, the smaller circle was engulfed in the elliptical one Willow was making. He saw the smaller circle collapse, Anna and Anan sagging a little in relief. Wesley moved to stand behind the chair where Naan huddled. He took Anna’s hand in his right and Anan’s in his left.
Willow came toward them, mixing herbs in a bowl while speaking more words Angel couldn’t hear, then sprinkling the herbs around the women. Wesley’s mouth moved. He took up Willow’s chant while she returned to the crystal in the center and sprinkled more of the herbs around it. Then she returned, a vial of oil in her hand.
She rubbed oil onto Anna’s free hand, then onto Naan’s left hand, and lastly into Anan’s free hand. Wesley let go of the sisters. Willow repeated the anointing on the remaining hands of the sisters. Then she moved to their foreheads. She touched Anan’s first, and Angel watched as she sank to the floor. Then came Anna. She too collapsed to the floor. Last, Willow touched the oil to Naan’s head and spoke something forcibly. Naan didn’t collapse, but a burst of light sent Willow flying backwards.
Angel saw Naan start to rise, then saw Wesley’s hand moving. He tried screaming, but knew Wesley would never hear him. Angel lunged for the circle, but Wesley’s hand came down on Naan’s shoulder and Angel felt pain shoot through him. His knees buckled, his vision swam. He saw Wesley and Naan fall over backwards before the next wave of searing pain sent him sprawling to the floor unconscious.
Chapter Fourteen
Wesley stumbled backwards, his hand firmly clamped on Naan’s shoulder, despite the burning that started in his fingers and moved swiftly into his palm and was now moving up his forearm. He crashed to the floor with Naan, instinctively pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her.
Pain seared through him, every nerve ending in his body screaming in torment. He fought to keep his mind dark, blocked, but the voices filled his head…cries of pain, shouts of anguish, whimpering grief…the cacophony was deafening.
Naan struggled and he tried to strengthen his hold on her. He was losing control of his body as it began to spasm in response to the pain. Vaguely he could feel Willow. She was speaking to him. He couldn’t hear her over the shrieking in his head, noise that he was slowly coming to understand.
“Do what you came here for.” Wesley said, hoping his words were coherent and could be heard. “I can’t hold her for long.”
He didn’t know if Willow heard him, but he felt her leave him, and he was alone with Naan, along and falling into a lonely, terrifying darkness. The sensations of his physical body faded as he fell into what he could only believe was Naan’s mind. Beyond the discordant symphony that was slowly growing to include images and sensations of pain, he knew she was there with him, even if he couldn’t see her. The voices ebbed and flowed around him, making it difficult to think.
All around him the faces and mangled bodies of people dying pulsed, like movies that inflicted the wounds on the audience. “Naan.” He spoke her name to beckon her. Everything shifted around him and a howling image of a mother holding her dead child slammed into his stomach.
He doubled over, grabbing at his stomach, choking back a scream that would only add to the noise. He could see the signs of order that Anna and Anan must have been working to help Naan achieve, images and such segregated by type and location, but already it was beginning to fray. He hoped Willow worked fast.
Wesley navigated through the dark, each movement sending ripples around him. He tried to sort through the sensations pounding through him, finding one that he thought was his own physical body. It was a vague notion at best, that his arms were wrapped around Naan and that he was in pain.
“We have to make it stop.” Naan’s voice was soft, tiny compared to the screaming and howling around him, but it cut through it all. She was suddenly beside him, and in front of them both a chasm opened, descending hideous depths and rising above them beyond his ability to see. The images covered the walls, war, murder, illness and disease, grief, despair…and a foul wind blew from all directions, carrying it to them.
Wesley’s knees buckled, it was too much. He hurt in ways he couldn’t fathom. His stomach burned, his head felt as though it might implode from the pressure. If he paused to look at any one image its emotion overwhelmed him and he could feel the pain of wounds he had never suffered.
Beside him, Naan seemed small, still. Wesley turned his attention to her, away from the swirling images begging for his attention. He was surprised by the tears. Her face was drawn, her eyes sunken and hollow. She looked up at him with an expression that hovered somewhere between a plea for help and wild eyed terror.
“It hurts. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.” She lunged at Wesley, wrapping her arms around him. The pain doubled and together they tumbled dangerously close the edge.
“Make it stop,” she pleaded, her voice masked in tears and emotion. Wesley could see now that the chasm stretched out further than he could see. He knew it circled around them, though he wasn’t sure how he knew that. Naan lived here, on an island, surrounded by the suffering of the entire world. He couldn’t imagine…he’d been there only minutes and he was being torn apart…how could anyone expect a child to handle this? How could anyone handle this and not go mad?
Wesley stopped struggling against her embrace, letting his arms settle around her. After a long time, she lay still on top of him, letting him hold her. The noise was growing. Wesley was drained. He couldn’t feel his physical body at all anymore. All sense of time and place was fading. Just let go…so much easier…so tempting…
Wesley’s head fell to the side. There was something pulling on him, drawing him. He opened his eyes. Angel’s face greeted him. He couldn’t tell if it was his connection to the vampire, or the chasm showing him a pain more personal. Angel’s face was contorted in anguish, wet with tears.
He reached out a hand, almost imagining he could feel Angel’s cheek. The vampire’s eyes were dark. Despair wafted off of him, reaching through the haze of emotions that surrounded Wesley. “Angel.” Wesley whispered it, feeling his own fear ignite inside him. He had a job to do. He had to hold on. “Hurry Willow.”
Willow’s voice rose in pitch as she watched Wesley’s body convulse. It had shaken her, Naan’s reaction, flying across the circle and rising to find Wesley wrestling on the floor, clearly slipping away from them.
His words snapped her back into herself and she’d set to the next part of the spell with fervor. As the power grew, she turned her face to Buffy. “Get him to let go of her, move her beside Anan.”
They had already moved Anna and Anan to lie side by side. Anan’s eyes followed Willow as held the Philean’s crystal and moved into place. Buffy maneuvered Naan into place beside Anan. Willow met Anan’s eyes and nodded. Anan nodded in return.
Fred and Buffy took up positions beside Wesley. He was still twitching, but seemed to settle as Fred touched him. Willow turned her attention back to the crystal and resumed the words of the spell. She closed her eyes as a magic older than any she had ever tapped filled the air, swirling around her and infusing the crystal.
Even with her eyes closed, Willow could see the power growing, the light first from the crystal as the magic filled it, suspending it in the air, then from Anna, Anan and even Naan. Energy whipped through the circle and through her as she raised her hands. Her palms itched and burned as it came, raw, unbridled magic pouring through her and into the crystal.
The light was nearly unbearable , even with her eyes closed, yet it grew until she had to cover her eyes. A clap of thunder shook the room and three tendrils of white hot light shot out of the suspended crystal, and into each of the sisters, raising them vertical to hang inches from the ground.
Willow shouted the final words, squinting against the glare. The three glowing forms slammed together as a second clap of thunder rattled them. A brilliant flash followed, and like it was being sucked into a vacuum, the light withdrew into Anan. A final clap of thunder accompanied the last of the light, and Anan and the crystal were lowered onto the carpet.
Willow was breathing heavy. Anna and Naan were gone. Anan seemed unconscious, her red hair now streaked with gold and black. Wesley lay on the floor still and apparently unconscious as well. Fred and Buffy sat beside him, both stunned.
Willow took a tentative step toward the still softly glowing form of Anan. Her eyes opened and she sat up. One eye was now the soft blue-grey that Anna’s had been. The other so dark it was more black than blue. Willow knelt in front of her. “Are you…” she started, but she wasn’t certain how to finish the question.
“We are Annanaan,” she responded, the voice echoing as if all three had spoken at once. “We are one.”
Willow nodded and swallowed hard. “I think I was looking for Okay, but that will do.” Wesley groaned and Willow turned her attention to him.
“He is unwell.” Annanaan said, following Willow’s eyes.
Willow nodded and moved to kneel beside Wesley, reaching to test his pulse. He recoiled from her touch, curling into a near fetal position. Just as suddenly he straightened out and called out for Angel.
Buffy stood and looked to where the vampire had last stood. She couldn’t see him. She looked for Gunn who was trying to follow what was happening inside the mystical barrier. Gunn’s eyes tracked Buffy’s hand gestures. He couldn’t see Angel, but there was no way for him to get around the barrier to find him. Buffy waved him off and turned back to Willow.
“Willow, I need this thing down, now!”
Willow was torn between her duty to Wesley and the need to help Angel. Annanaan knelt beside her and reached for Wesley, but Willow put out her hand to stop her. “We would help.”
Willow bit her lip, then nodded, leaving Wesley to her touch while Willow moved to Buffy’s side, already pulling at the strings of magic that would dismantle the protective barrier.
As soon as it was down, she and Buffy burst over the line and into the bedroom. Angel squatted in the corner, his face averted, his hands hidden behind his knees. He shook, great, noiseless sobs wracking his body.
Buffy held up a hand to stop Willow and moved closer alone. “Angel, it’s going to be okay, its over.”
She came within arm’s reach and sank to her knees in front of him. Her words produced no response. She reached out to touch him and pulled back when his arm proved to be hot. She reached then for his face. It too was warmer than even the body temperature of a living being.
He lifted his face, the ridges of his vampire face drenched with tears. His eyes seemed alive with things she had never seen in Angel’s eyes before…terror, despair…it shook her.
Even more so when he moved enough that she could see his hands, trapped between his body and his knees. There was blood, a small wooden stake in his hands, it’s point already lodged in the skin of his chest. Instinctively, she reached for it and he jerked away. “Angel, give me the stake.”
“Have to end it,” he murmured. “Don’t want to hurt anymore.”
“That won’t end the pain.” Wesley’s voice was thick and he leaned heavily on Gunn as he limped into the room. He nodded at Buffy who moved out of the way. With a groan, Wesley dropped to the floor in front of Angel.
Angel’s crying deepened again, his head falling onto his knees. Each sob threatened to push the stake home into his chest. Wesley knew the others were watching, but was past caring about appearances or what they thought. He stretched out a hand and let it caress Angel’s head. “I’ve seen the pain, Angel, it’s face.” He let his fingers slide down to Angel’s chin, slowly cajoling him into lifting his head. “It’s terrible and hard and raw…but it isn’t yours to carry. It isn’t yours to end.”
Wesley’s fingers caressed Angel’s face, over the bumps, the lips. Touch seemed to reach through to Angel so much faster than words. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered fiercely so that only Angel could hear.
Angel’s eyes closed as Wesley kissed the raised ridges on his brow, then his cheeks, his fingers following to wipe away the tears. When Wesley pressed his lips against Angel’s, Angel sagged, his hands falling to his side, the stake rolling free. Wesley had no idea where his own pain ended and Angel’s began, or even if it wasn’t all the same. His flesh screamed as he moved, burning against the cool air of the room. He wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer before he passed out again, but he couldn’t leave Angel like this.
He knew what he needed to get Angel to come back to him. His eyes never left Angel’s as he turned his words to others in the room. “Willow, I need a knife.”
“What?”
“A knife, now please.”
Willow stumbled over her feet, but left the room and returned moments later with the requested implement, which Wesley took and sliced his arm in one motion. “Want?” he asked breathlessly, putting the wound near Angel’s mouth.
Buffy and Willow both jumped to stop him, but Wesley held up the hand with the knife. “No.” was all he said in warning.
Angel’s eye rose from the blood pooling on Wesley’s arm to Wesley’s eyes. “Stay with me Angel. I need you here.”
In slow motion, Angel bent his head, his mouth opening as Wesley repositioned his arm for comfort. He thought he might faint from the combined sensation, but he stuck to it, his free hand dropping the knife and stroking Angel’s hair and back as he fed. “That’s my good boy.”
Angel stopped drinking, his face changing back to that of a mortal man. He kissed Wesley then, and Wesley yielded beneath the touch, sinking to the floor until Wesley lay on his back with Angel beside him. Wesley broke the kiss for air, and felt the eyes of the others in the room. He was too tired to worry about their reactions. “I think I’m just going to pass out now,” he said, humor and exhaustion coloring his voice. Angel settled so that he was lying with his head on Wesley’s shoulder, seeming to fall asleep instantly. Wesley kissed his forehead and followed his example.
With the distinct impression that more than a few hours had passed, Wesley opened his eyes. The apartment was quiet. He was alone and in his bed. His wound from the knife had been bandaged and he was wearing a pair of flannel pajamas.
Angel was somewhere nearby. He was still fragile, but at the moment delighted. Wesley smiled and sat up. His head reeled a little and he knew the aches and fatigue would be with him for days. His feet found the floor and he foisted himself to them with a small effort. Every muscle held the memory of pain that no mortal man should ever have to endure…but endure he had.
He stepped out of the bedroom into the brightly lit living room, squinting against the light. “Hey sleepyhead.” Willow’s voice greeted. She beamed at him over her coffee cup from her place on the couch. “We didn’t think you’d ever wake up.”
“How long?”
“Three days.” Fred responded.
Wesley nodded. “How do you feel?”
“Like I was beaten to death by very large clubs, actually,” he said, rubbing at his face. He looked around the apartment. The two girls were the only people in evidence, but he could still feel Angel. He looked to the nursery door, slightly ajar. He thought he could hear Connor.
“Cordelia brought Connor over yesterday.” Willow said, getting up. “Angel and Connor have been playing ever since.” Willow handed him a cup of coffee. “Gunn has taken Annanaan to a place of sanctuary, where she can adjust.”
“What about Buffy?” Wesley settled into the chair, cradling the coffee and savoring its warmth.
“Buffy…went to see Faith, and then home to Sunnydale.” Willow said, making a face. “She was a little weirded out.”
“Weirded out?” Then Wesley remembered the kiss, the feeding. “Oh, that. Yes.” He sipped at his coffee. “She’ll just have to adjust.”
Willow smiled. “She will. Meanwhile, I’m on a plane out of here in a few hours. We got word from Giles. He’s alive and on his way to Sunnydale with more potential slayers. I’m going to Las Vegas to pick up two more. Fred’s going to give me a lift.”
“Least I can do.” Fred smiled and then hid behind her coffee cup.
“Dada!” Connor came flying out of the bedroom and jumped at Wesley, almost getting the full cup of coffee down his back before Wesley managed to set it aside.
He hugged the squirming little body. He hadn’t realized how much he missed him in the last few days. So much of his life had been wrapped around Angel’s son in the last year. “Dada’s happy to see you, Connor.”
“He’s been asking for you since he got here.” Angel said, appearing at the nursery door. “You had us worried.”
Wesley smiled. “I think I’m going to be okay.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“Dada, is Ang staying?” Connor asked, touching Wesley’s face for attention.
“Well, we’ll have to work that out, won’t we. Would you like it if Angel stayed with us for a while?”
Connor nodded enthusiastically. “I like Ang.”
“I do to.” Wesley agreed, looking up at the smiling vampire. “I like him a lot.”
“I think that’s our cue, Fred.” Willow said, standing. “Things are gonna get mushy, and I have a plane to catch.” She crossed to Angel and wrapped her arms around him. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
“You too…and watch Buffy’s back.”
“I will.” Her hug for Wesley was less intense in deference to his pain. “You have a good thing here, Wesley. Take care of these two trouble makers.” She tousled Connor’s head. “This one’s going to be a handful.”
“Be careful…and if you need anything….”
“Only a phone call away. Same for you guys.” Willow shouldered her bag and gathered Fred with a wink. “Bye.”
As the door closed behind them, Angel and Wesley looked at one another. Angel was across the room and kissing Wesley before Wesley could even move to put Connor down. As the fervor passed and was replaced with something more tender, Wesley felt Connor’s hand on his face, then Connor was kissing them both where they’re faces came together. Wesley pulled back, laughing.
It felt warm, safe. Wesley put his free arm around Angel, as Angel’s arms shifted to help support Connor. For the first time in weeks, Wesley felt like he could relax. He held Connor and Angel to him and let his head fall onto Angel’s shoulder. “I like the way this feels,” he whispered.
“Me too.” Angel whispered back.
Connor yawned and Wesley echoed him. Angel took Connor and stepped back. “He’s been up for almost 24 hours, waiting to see you. I’ll put him down for a nap.” He kissed Wesley lightly.
“A nap sounds divine.” Wesley said, yawning again.
“Go lay down.” Angel said, turning away. “I’ll join you, when he’s asleep.”
Wesley smiled and padded into the bedroom. So much of their time had been spent here in this room lately. Stifling yet another yawn, Wesley crawled into bed, migrating toward what he had come to think of as his side. He dozed off almost instantly, falling into a whirl of dreams. When Angel slipped into bed beside him, he slipped just as easily into Wesley’s dreams. All the dark memories, true ones and false ones seemed far away for the moment as they held one another.
Later, as Wesley’s hand was caressing Angel’s back and Wesley’s cock was moving inside him, the tears came…unbidden, tears of relief, tears of a love he’d never thought would be realized. He came in a shuddering thrust, and collapsed beside Angel on the bed. It was Angel’s turn to hold him through the tears, kissing them away. As they drifted toward sleep, Angel whispered, “Thank you.”
Wesley didn’t need to ask to know it meant far more than simple thank you, he could feel it. Nor did he need to ask to know that Angel would be staying…more than a little while.
End...or something like one anyway....