so I abandoned this journal for years, dug it out for Fandom March Madness, and now I'm using it for comment memes/ontd. I probably won't ever use it as a real journal again. 

and i hide in those old forbidden places, in the gardens, behind the swingset, under the snow drifts. you won't find me. that golden thread connecting us has severed. i cut it with my rusty pewter scissors and i left you to bleed out, alone. i should have known. my demons are relentless, nipping at my heels and howling at the flanks of the horses i ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what there is to live for. anymore. but not really, it's been like this for awhile, slowly getting worse, eating me out from the inside. the truth that i only have one reason and that's my family, at least i have some love. "is it enough?" i love him too but i feel like it's only a matter of time before that crashes and burns... i don' ( Read more... )

i love you more than i can say.

I guess I did ask for a therapeutic cry. Here it is. You've been a long time coming...

I'm trying to type this short story but I'm crying so hard I can barely see. Fuck.

i need to find the courage to just do it. alternatively, i need a good therapuetic sob session.

i think i may as well just renounce love.

i feel like i'm exploding on the inside from all this love and lust with no outlet. i'm confused. i'm scared. i'm finally starting to thaw out, at least.

even if i never have you, or really know you, i'm pretty sure i'll always love you.

I've gotten exceptionally good at lying through my teeth. Pearly whites conceal black marks on the soul!