Went into work and felt as if I would fall apart. My limbs felt like jello and my heart was broken. I am doing t-mobile training and did not feel very much like participating in the team spirit of it all. The coach in the class told me just because I didn't feel like it doesn't mean that I should let the class down. So I started in with the ( Read more... )

Today I feel small and weak. I want to disappear from everything. I wish things were different. Hope seems to fade from me and it's the one thing I used to believe in.

I feel like nothing is ever going to be right and nothing matters. I want to sleep all the time for when I am asleep nothing is all there is. Sometimes I am disappointed that I wake up at all.

Went to bed really late last night. Woke up to go to work but I also had to pay the bills since it is payday Friday and honestly I did not feel all that great today. Called into work, paid the bills, and then had chinese for lunch with a great friend. So bills are paid, food and cigarettes bought. All the necessities taken care of. To me this ( Read more... )

Sitting in my room beginning a journey that I hope will make me a better person. My room is somewhat is a disarray. Usually have an excuse to why this is but maybe it really is that chaos gives me comfort sometimes. My room is something that enjoy more now that it is painted a fresh green color; "riverbank" I do believe was the name. Little ( Read more... )

So far away even when you are near me. When did we drift away from each other. When did it get so bad that we can't even remember what it was like when we could talk to each other without feeling that one of us would feel hurt in the end. I look at my phone and I want to call you but I know I can't. I've already called and sent text's and it ( Read more... )

It's been a very long time since I have written anything. So much has changed since then. About three months or so ago I finally moved out of my parents house. I now live in opp which is now only 15 minutes from work instead of the 50 minutes I was driving every day. My best friend from Michigan has moved down here to be with me. I love the ( Read more... )

People are creatures of habit. You feel comfortable in the day to day never pushing past your boundries. I want change, plan for change, yet change seems to elude me. Keep your head down, live within your limits, don't try for anything new or you will be dissapointed. The past haunts my present ..