Fill: A Very Coulson Thanksgiving (1/1)
I decided to go very some crack for a fill for this prompt over at norsekink
It was supposed to be a nice, calm Thanksgiving. Tony had to admit that he was shocked to receive an invitation from Coulson to dine with him and his wife, Jackie. For one thing, Tony wasn’t even aware that Coulson was married; much less lived in a house with a garden, white picket fence, minivan in the driveway, dog and 2.5 kids. So he’d shown up to dinner with a bottle of expensive wine in hand and got his second shock of the day. When Coulson opened the door, the normally well dressed man was in jeans and a soft blue sweater. He stepped away and allowed Tony to follow him into the house.
Tony’s head was swiveling around taking in the details of the house. The family portraits on the walls, the toys scattered on the floor and the dog currently attempting to eat his ankles. He shook his foot and the dog yipped and scurried across the room. “This…is a very nice home, Phil.” Coulson smiled.
Tony followed Phil into his study off the main living area and was discussing the latest upgrades to the SHIELD helicarrier when the TV in the corner broke in with an emergency bulletin. “This is Matt Lauer at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, where it seems that the floats have come to life!! This is truly incredible folks!” As the anchor spoke a massive SpongeBob float walked into the frame, screamed and preceded to tackle a nearby Snoopy float. Tony and Coulson exchanged knowing looks. Phil grabbed a remote off the side table and pushed a button. A section of wall slide away and rotated revealing….a case that looked like it should hold Coulson’s standard issue black SHIELD suit. Coulson frowned and turned towards the open doorway. “Honey?” he called.
Tony could hear Jackie moving around in the kitchen. “Yeah?”
“Where is my Super Suit?”
“What?” Jackie responded with a tone that suggested she had heard her husband perfectly the first time.
Coulson pinched his nose between two of his fingers. “WHERE.IS.MY.SUPER.SUIT?”
“I put it away!” she called back.
Coulson was now moving down the hall into the master bedroom, opening drawers and pawing through them. “Where is it?”
Jackie appeared in the doorway, brandishing a spoon like it was a sword. “WHY do you need to KNOW?!”
Coulson glanced over his shoulder at her. “I need it!”
She swung the spoon, flinging bits of stuffing onto the walls and one piece landed on Tony’s face. “Uh-huh! Don’t you even think think about running of and doing any super heroeing! We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!”
Coulson looked exasperated. “The public is in danger!!”
Jackie continued to glare at him. “MY evening is in danger!”
Phil fisted his hands in his short hair. “YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS WOMAN! We are talking about the greater good!!”
“Greater Good?! I am your WIFE! I am the greatest good you are EVER gonna get!!”
Tony decided that he was glad he wasn’t married.
It was supposed to be a nice, calm Thanksgiving. Tony had to admit that he was shocked to receive an invitation from Coulson to dine with him and his wife, Jackie. For one thing, Tony wasn’t even aware that Coulson was married; much less lived in a house with a garden, white picket fence, minivan in the driveway, dog and 2.5 kids. So he’d shown up to dinner with a bottle of expensive wine in hand and got his second shock of the day. When Coulson opened the door, the normally well dressed man was in jeans and a soft blue sweater. He stepped away and allowed Tony to follow him into the house.
Tony’s head was swiveling around taking in the details of the house. The family portraits on the walls, the toys scattered on the floor and the dog currently attempting to eat his ankles. He shook his foot and the dog yipped and scurried across the room. “This…is a very nice home, Phil.” Coulson smiled.
Tony followed Phil into his study off the main living area and was discussing the latest upgrades to the SHIELD helicarrier when the TV in the corner broke in with an emergency bulletin. “This is Matt Lauer at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, where it seems that the floats have come to life!! This is truly incredible folks!” As the anchor spoke a massive SpongeBob float walked into the frame, screamed and preceded to tackle a nearby Snoopy float. Tony and Coulson exchanged knowing looks. Phil grabbed a remote off the side table and pushed a button. A section of wall slide away and rotated revealing….a case that looked like it should hold Coulson’s standard issue black SHIELD suit. Coulson frowned and turned towards the open doorway. “Honey?” he called.
Tony could hear Jackie moving around in the kitchen. “Yeah?”
“Where is my Super Suit?”
“What?” Jackie responded with a tone that suggested she had heard her husband perfectly the first time.
Coulson pinched his nose between two of his fingers. “WHERE.IS.MY.SUPER.SUIT?”
“I put it away!” she called back.
Coulson was now moving down the hall into the master bedroom, opening drawers and pawing through them. “Where is it?”
Jackie appeared in the doorway, brandishing a spoon like it was a sword. “WHY do you need to KNOW?!”
Coulson glanced over his shoulder at her. “I need it!”
She swung the spoon, flinging bits of stuffing onto the walls and one piece landed on Tony’s face. “Uh-huh! Don’t you even think think about running of and doing any super heroeing! We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!”
Coulson looked exasperated. “The public is in danger!!”
Jackie continued to glare at him. “MY evening is in danger!”
Phil fisted his hands in his short hair. “YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS WOMAN! We are talking about the greater good!!”
“Greater Good?! I am your WIFE! I am the greatest good you are EVER gonna get!!”
Tony decided that he was glad he wasn’t married.