Been having bad thoughts for several weeks now. Kills me inside every night, every morning, every time I'm alone. No matter what I'm doing my mind drifts into bad places. I am trying every day to stop thinking about it, I'll try harder. I have to somehow fix myself. I need to stop with self pity and self loathing, I try. I try every day ( Read more... )

School is really on this semester. I think I made my schedule this ridiculous on purpose so that I would stay busy.

I've hit a new weightlifting level. I can do a weight that I thought originally unattainable, but I managed to conquer it in less than 3 months.

I have to remember that people once believed in me.

I dream about her every night now. It's difficult, but I'll get over it. I have to get over it. She's happier now and doesn't need me. I have to keep telling myself that, even if I need her so badly ( Read more... )

Last night, I saw a horrifying image. It was of them having sex. Terrible, terrible pains shoot throughout my body. Glass shards in my head, so bad.

Well, I'm finally moved in to my new dorm. Took some time, but it's done now ( Read more... )

Time as slowed down again. I'm excelling in all of my classes. I will be making a 4.0 this semester, as I had planned. I have been awarded scholarships/grants that cover my tuition plus most of my living expenses for the fall/spring ( Read more... )

The days are getting tough again. Having a hard time not drifting off into depression. So many things happening at once, so little I can do to change them. What can one man do? I hope everything clears up soon. I'm tired, just so tired.

This past week I could feel it every day. Something was wrong, every part of me said so. An evaporation was taking place.. or was it just dust blowing away. Whatever was left of Samantha was leaving me. There might have been the smallest, most insignificant part of her still left, but now it's gone ( Read more... )

The day of my arrival at school, they posted a sign in front of the medical building. It was being replaced by a new building, so they had to begin deconstruction. I watched intently, day after day, as the workers tirelessly took apart the building piece by piece. They finished the demolition today ( Read more... )

Summer is halfway over, but it feels like it's only just begun ( Read more... )