Woke up after 4 hours of sleep. No hangover even after a half a bottle of vodka. I decided to celebrate my potential last day at UT.

Ghandi once said, "Just as the body cannot exist without blood, so the soul needs the matchless and pure strength of faith" It's just sad that I can only control one part of that equation.

I woke up to extreme pain in my back. The tissue in my back is weak. Things just got a lot more difficult.

It takes a bit longer to get up in the morning times now. The urge to lay there is strong. My room is cold. I look around and see it's still pre-dawn. I turn to my other side. My feet hang from the bed. Stomach feels upset from my own blood. The back of my arms feel weak, yet I've done nothing. I'm thinking selfish thoughts. I'm wondering when this ( Read more... )

Everyone demands better from me. I will give them better.

There's blood on my finger. I wonder how long it's been there now. It's dry and does not wipe off of the fingernail. I should do a better job of cleaning up next time ( Read more... )

It's night time again. I'm staring at my thick, brown book. I'm reading the text. It's mathematics, something that has no good or bad, no right or wrong, only the serenity of knowing that it is true ( Read more... )

Sometimes I desire to be by myself. I think it is my destiny. Completely alone. My greatest accomplishments have been when I had no one there for me. No one to distract me. No one. When there are people around me I care for them and care to make them happy. My happiness becomes theirs, but I forget at the end of the day no one is looking for mine ( Read more... )

This has been a pretty interesting start to the school year. So far my classes have been going really well, and it's really due to one pill ( Read more... )

Today is the day I've lost everything. Every day I've been thinking the most terrible thoughts. They're getting worse and I fear that it's a poison only getting stronger. The effects getting stronger. I'm in complete disarray ( Read more... )

Another month has passed. Another month. The days pass quickly, I'm almost completely occupied. Almost. My dreams, my quiet moments, my life is dedicated to her. I am always thinking of her hoping she's living a happy life. She's living her life and I guess I'm living mine. I miss her every day though.