I MISS MY OTHER ICONS (๑◕︵◕๑)
Settle in, baby! It's a long one today. Took me alllll day to write it.
The holidays are upon us here in the graphics supplies distribution industry (pfffffffft) so that means we aren't doing much. This is so strange. I've always worked in places where the holidays were THE DARK TIMES. The CRUNCH. And here, the holidays mean business is slow and half the staff is already on vacation. The fuck? You mean to tell me I don't have to worry about holiday SOPs, different-colored uniforms, corporate charity promo pushing, preorders of food or gift cards or elaborate cheese platters?
UP THE NORMCORE PUNX! lol
Thanks to the good fortune bestowed upon us by the calendar gods, we at work have been agreed on taking two consecutive four-day weekends -- one for Christmas and one for New Year. I'm the only temp in the office so I only get two of those four days paid. The "perms" get three of the four, that is, two full days from the boss and two half-days of accrued vacation time. I hear that isn't actually very cool compared to other corporate offices, but I gotta cut my teeth somewhere.
The good news is that they've decided to make me a permanent! In January I will rise from my wooden existence and become a real boy. I'm grateful for the gesture but I'm thoroughly peeved that this starts after December 31, making me completely ineligible for this year's batch of holiday bonuses despite being eligible for permanency in November. Yeah, okay, whatever, because I don't also need a little extra financial cushion this time of year. Because I'm definitely not skating on the edge w/rent this month and I definitely have enough money for gas and groceries for the rest of the week, yes, totally fine without a bonus.
UGH.
How boring life is, after 27! If only I were rich and famous. Guess that's why all those rock stars cross over into the afterlife at that age.
On a completely different note, I have it set in my mind that by this time next year I will be conversant in Spanish. I can consider this a New Year's resolution, one with a quantifiable definition of success that is within my reach. I have learned and forgotten more languages than the average [ignorant racist] asshole who grunts "you live in 'murica, you talk AAANGLISH!" would have ever even tried to learn. And so why not Spanish? I'm living it up in El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles de Porciúncula after all! And, like, my last name is from-Spain Spanish. So let's fuggiddup! Hablamos español, putas!
I've been using Duolingo religiously for the past month and I'm really enjoying it -- 44% fluency according to the app, though I know there is a huge difference between "academic" fluency and actual ability to converse with native speakers. Still, having gone through plenty of lessons and exercises so far, I am impressed with how much Spanish vocabulary I already possess from (a) living in LA, (b) knowing a lot of Tagalog and (c) being able to recognize lots of Latin roots. After having taken Japanese and French in school, I realize how important immersion is in the retention of language. I may not yet be comfortable speaking Spanish yet, but hopefully by 75% fluency in the app I'll be ready to practice with the folks at work.
One complaint about Duolingo is it's pretty Eurocentric in language options. I get it, non-Romance/non-Germanic languages are hard for English speakers, all that new vocab and those syntactic patterns. But shit, man. I really wanted to brush up on my Japanese and Tagalog. To drive the point home about the Eurocentrism of Duolingo, they have fuckin' Esperanto. TRIPLE UGH. Esperanto is theoretically good, but IMO it's a narrow and self-insistent attempt at a global pidgin. You'd think if it were really going for "global" that it'd do more consultation with non-Euro cultures? Like China and India are not massive, influential nations with billions of citizens speaking countless variations on their ancient languages? Whatever, yt pipo. Just fucking learn Spanish and German. Shiiiid. Gon' patronize me with that Esperanto nonsense GET THE FU-- /rant
For today's flashback, I've chosen this entry from 12 years ago today. It's Ariel's birthday today, and I have made no mention of it in that entry from ~the past~ but I mention it today. (I texted her ass at 8am today cuz I missed the midnight-1am window of prime "first to text you HBD lololol" texting.)
ANYWAY,
In an entry written on this day 12 years ago, I bid farewell to my first semester at CSULB and hailed the beginning of winter break.
In retrospect, I had a very successful first semester -- it was the second semester that marked the true beginning of the end for my relationship with college, I guess. I started off with more than a semester's worth of credit, and judging by the first semester alone I was poised to thrive and finish with honors. Sure, I was already ditching math with some frequency, but I still got a C in the class, and I knocked all other classes out of the park -- especially Women's Studies 102 (hi Julie), for which I turned in my GODDAMN IMMACULATE term paper a whole day early. Gotta say, I should've done WSt 101 before 102. Griffin's class was a formative experience and a tough act to follow.
(And right now I'm like, "lol I took Theater, what a joke. Fuckin' prereqs.")
That entry mentions a (looooong) bus ride from CSULB to Harbor City, where I got lost after disembarking at the wrong stop and was rescued by -- of all people! -- ♥Cam's mom. I remember that moment very clearly; I know now exactly where I was then and frankly I'm embarrassed for my former self. In my mind now, I can envision the very simple walk from the bus stop to my intended destination. It'd have been a long walk, but I'd gone on longer walks for shiggles. What a precious, non-motorist little baby idiot I was at the time. Oh well, thanks be to my future MIL for saving me. Little did she know then, huh?
Also of note in this entry is attending the Chain Reaction Winter Formal. I recall being on the brink of breakup then, and it was one of those dates he and I had where we were, like, consciously trying to fix things. Some notes on the show:
- I doubt I will ever want to see another show at the Chain Reaction ever again, unless it's for a friend's band (the circumstances of my last trip to Chain, something like five years ago). I'm too old and no longer punk enough.
- About two years after this show I ended up spending lots of lunches at El Camino with Jackie from Dios -- later called "Dios (Malos)" if you're familiar. His brother Andrew was also in a band; I saw them play at the Roxy and confused the two because though they are not twins, they are identical.
- I actually did end up getting the phone number of Hellogoodbye lead singer Forrest Kline at a show at the Knitting Factory (RIP, HollyKnit ♥).
And yes, another mention of several different sizable gatherings of friends.
One group, I don't think I will ever see again, though I keep in touch with Mike and D.A.V.I.D. on FB. Good kids, you Torrance lot, with your middle-class community giving generous financial support to your academic communities and whatnot. And your eponymous high school that is famous from TV and movies. My most recent memory of Torrance High School was ditching a party across the street from the campus, when we found out everyone was doing a shit-ton of coke and everyone tried to beat up my boyfriend and some asshole tried to steal my Nintendo DS. Man, forget what I said. Fuck Torrance High. And fuck cocaine.
But the other group of friends, now that's some questionable yet ultimately wholesome friendship right there. Sober, silly, getting together to do something so archaic-sounding that it jars me to say out loud: watching a VHS that we rented at blockbuster video. WAT DE FAK! like holy wow shit does that sound like a "back in mah day" thing to do! Fuck, 12 years passed and we went from renting VHS to watching Flash videos and YTMNDs to streaming everything always. I miss when we'd gather 'round to watch a schlock-fest. These days, on Wednesdays a small bunch of us convene at Thug Mansion (our apartment) to watch American Horror Story (and in the summer it'll be Game of Thrones). So it isn't total schlock, okay, and it's not a rented VHS (!!!!!), but it's still getting together to watch something. That is one small holdover, one tiny whiff of friendship in front of the TV's warm, glowing, warming glow.
Also mentioned in that entry is visiting the ol' alma mater, which I did with (probably unusual) frequency but stopped shortly after the class of 2004 graduated. I think I stopped by once or twice while my sister was still going there, but that wasn't for very long anyway. Aside from stalking students visiting my younger friends, I made a point to say hello to some old teachers. There were certainly some who I adored, adults who spoke to their students like full-fledged people and knew that there was real influence between us and them. It's a tough job. Teenagers fucking suck -- they're hormonal messes who act too big for their little britches and it's a terror to look them in the eye and see the future. But it counts for more than zero when you acknowledge that they're still people and it counts for plenty to interact with them as such.
So, going back 12 years was top-notch fun . . . the End-of-Year survey is upon me soon and I look forward to reading 2015 for fiiiiiilth. Let's do it together! You ready? On three -- one, two . . .