i miss the assertiveness that i once had... balls out "i don't give a fuck" me.  there are soooo many womyn out there that are suffering for real reasons, hunger, poverty, abusive relationships, sexism and i'm here, living the life that thousands of people can only dream of living, worrying about the most insignificant things.  what has happened?  ( Read more... )

so... my emotions have gotten to the point where there is not much i can do to ignore to ignore them.  i was doing so well in controllng my feelings, unfortunately, the last couple of times we've hung out, i have found myself feeling astonishingly comfortable around him.     within reason of course, non the less, i like him.  its final.  there is ( Read more... )

so... i have the weirdest schedule this week.  i kinda like it... but not really.  poor tony has to work 6 days this week, then i automatically think, "why not me?"  its like i'm never content.  if i work  6 days, i'm like "dammit!  y do i have to work six days and tony gets only 5?"  and when i get 5 and he gets 6 its the exact opposite.  i ( Read more... )

I'M HAPPY!  i just got off that phone with dj... we had a great-o talk.  i miss him.  so maybe i was a lil harsh in my earlier post.  keep in mind, i was hurt and all.  i like him.  i really do.  ok ok enough of that.  i know you're getting tired of hearing about it ( Read more... )

i miss him... i really do.  he truly is one of my best friends.  He went to puerto rico with his rents for the week. can you fucking believe it?  he abandoned me for a whole week!  and for what?  so that he could go on a luxurious cruse with a whole bunch of lil hussies for him to play captain/shipmate with.  ugh!  damn him!  okok, i guess he has a ( Read more... )

oh my goodness journal... i need some sort of revitalizing structure of security in my life.  situation:  i met a boi... i know right?  i really like him, probably more than i should. ( i've come to the conclusion that these redundant episodes that i have with these boys will be perennially active throughout my existence.)  i rarely see him, yet i ( Read more... )

it sickens me to think of you ( Read more... )

oh god... i was laughing so hard earlier... going over all my old posts.  its funny how emotions can change over time.  one month, you feel like you can't live without someone, then the next you meet someone new, and feel like you can breath again.  i'm so happy right now!  i can hardly control my joy.  so many things have happened.  where should i ( Read more... )

so, its been a while... yes, i've realized this.  i've been kind of staying away from writing on here because there are a few things going on in my life that i don't want certain people to know about.  Besides, i'm confused about many, many things right now.  i don't know... maybe in a few days or weeks, i'll be able to spit this shit out.  man, i ( Read more... )

yes... i'm tired of my life... once again.  i need a change.  i don't know what it is.  i'm just so tired of some of the people in my life.  too much drama.  i tend to let drama resonate around me... i like it that way, but recently i've been kind of fed up with the whole thing.  i thought of changing my hair color again.  not sure what color.  
   ( Read more... )