People don't change unless they want to change. You're both young. There's still hope. Hell, there'd still be hope even if yiz were in yer 60s. But if he's not self-motivated now, your prognostication about 10 years from now is probably pretty accurate.
The reason my first marriage tanked was that I started to realize I didn't want to be with a dreamer rather than a do-er. If that makes sense.
That doesn't mean you have to dump him or that it won't last. As long as you can separate your goals from his and allow him to proceed as a fuck-up lazy-ass goofball, accept him as such and carve out your path for yourself as best you can while continuing to invite him to traipse along with you, things can work.
When you start expecting him to be like you, that's when things get funky and twisted.
Acceptance is key, babe. Hope you're feeling better. And if you still need to punch something, punch the mattress.
haha...punch the mattress...tinyfaySeptember 21 2004, 09:21:42 UTC
ash, you're so smart, i hate replying after you because it's never as good.
d is kind of the same way, i mean, he's really uber motivated, like he flew through school and grad school and is back in school, but he kind of pokes along at work. "half-ass-bourassa" is what me and my parents call him. it's like, doing only two-thirds of the expected job, or excelling to do the bare minimum is satisfying to him.
i donno, it's hard being over-achievers. we expect everyone else to live up to our own standards. i think i project my anger towards myself and my own short-comings onto him when he doesn't do the best i know he can do. if that makes sense.
Damn, he doesn't even care? Are you sure? I mean, school costs a lot of money and not going means you are flushing your money down the toilet. At least he should care about that...
And you can take friends to your classes? Why would you take friends to your classes? It's not like you can talk in class. Well maybe if you sat at the back, but then you wouldn't be able to hear the teacher...
Comments 4
The reason my first marriage tanked was that I started to realize I didn't want to be with a dreamer rather than a do-er. If that makes sense.
That doesn't mean you have to dump him or that it won't last. As long as you can separate your goals from his and allow him to proceed as a fuck-up lazy-ass goofball, accept him as such and carve out your path for yourself as best you can while continuing to invite him to traipse along with you, things can work.
When you start expecting him to be like you, that's when things get funky and twisted.
Acceptance is key, babe. Hope you're feeling better. And if you still need to punch something, punch the mattress.
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d is kind of the same way, i mean, he's really uber motivated, like he flew through school and grad school and is back in school, but he kind of pokes along at work. "half-ass-bourassa" is what me and my parents call him. it's like, doing only two-thirds of the expected job, or excelling to do the bare minimum is satisfying to him.
i donno, it's hard being over-achievers. we expect everyone else to live up to our own standards. i think i project my anger towards myself and my own short-comings onto him when he doesn't do the best i know he can do. if that makes sense.
tinyfay
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And you can take friends to your classes? Why would you take friends to your classes? It's not like you can talk in class. Well maybe if you sat at the back, but then you wouldn't be able to hear the teacher...
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Kisses and snuggles for sarie.
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